Twilight Wardens, LASC 2021 (founding section added, p.2)

[DaBoiKyknos]

Greetings fraters,

I´d like to present the concept of my personal space marine chapter here, which I carry around with me for years now (I actually made an IA under another name for them quite a time ago, but I think it´s now deleted (which is totally ok)).

Anyways, let´s start:

https://imgur.com/v6JlAWC
(standard colour scheme)


Twilight Wardens

Chapter Name: Twilight Wardens 
Founding: 23rd Founding (Sentinel Founding) 
Homeworld: Enoch (Feudal World) 
Ultima Segmentum (bordering to the Ork Empire of Charadon and in relative proximity
to the Forgeworld Metalica)
System: Enoch System

Geneseed: Unknown/ Imperial Fists (debated) 
Fortress-Monastry: Greatshield
Colours: Fawn, sky-blue eyelenses, colour variations of the helmet based on battle-field role ("huts") 
Chapter Insignia: A feline paw, claws reaching through a sun, tips touching an encircling crescent moon
Specialty: Scouting and stealth, Preferred enemy: Orks
Strength: ~ 700+ 
Chapter Master: Chidi Tinashe
Battle-Cry: "For our fathers, 
for Enoch,
for the herd among the stars!"

About:
The Twilight Wardens are Space Marine Chapter of the 23rd Founding. Hailing from the world of Enoch, their main initial purpose was to protect the regions surrounding the Ork Empire of Charadon, eventually they were deployed in other warzones, mosty fighting greenskins and ocassionally other Xenos, if their absense is justifiable. They are a highly spiritual, some might say superstitious chapter, with many traditions rooted deeply in the culture of their homeworld. Quite frequently their own homeworld is attacked by Orks, but the invaders could always be fought back so far.

Homeworld:
Enoch is a hot, arid world, with a size roughly two thirds of Holy Terra, a hard place to live, but not as hellish as a typical death world. 
It was re-discovered at some point after the Great Crusade by the same name, but was of little importance, until it became the Twilight Wardens homeworld at some point early to middle M38. 
Though this particular individual is all but forgotten and the Wardens have full sovereignity over the planet and it little star system, it has never been re-named, because they see names as something holy.
The landscape consists of savannahs, deserts and wastelands and the inhabitants are forced to change their place of living several times a year to sustain their herds of cattle. The Fauna brings forth several predators which could been found on Old Earth, like lions, hyeanas and even crocodiles which inhabit the few regions whith permanent water-supplies, as well as anitolopes, rhinos and more.
It is debated, if those animals had been imported to be hunted in the Age of Strife or even before that.
At present Enoch has a population of estimated 8- 12 000 000 inhabitants.

The people of Enoch
Inhabited by dark-skinned, tough peoples who mostly live of semi-nomadic herdsmen it´s technological level is generally quite low, but the population is capable of producing steel for weapons and low-tech firearms are not unknown, but cannot be reproduced. 
The main way of living is semi-nomadic, the tribes being herdsmen staying as long as possible on a place to sustain their cattle and then travel on established routes, claimed by them by tradition. 
A "Twilight Warden" is the honorary term for able-bodied men, guarding the herds for the dangerous period of twilight at dusk and dawn, then the gods sleep and hyenas, lions and other dangerous predators stalk the Night, ready to slay and eat the animals of their precious herds.
Armed with a warriors equipment, a great round or ellipctic shield made of cow-hide and wood and a great spear, the Assagai. It is the main source of a mans honour to fulfil this honour and only men who fulfilled it with valour can hope of one day leading their clan or even great-clan.
The societies are ordered in unities of family, clan, great-clan, and tribe, with the level of loyalty and allegiance being more significant and important, the closer an actual blood-relation is. Each family, clan, great-clan and tribes has it´s nominal leader, but is committed to the council of the priests and elders.
Generally they live rather peacefully, while wars are not uncommon, solving conflicts with bloodshed is rare, because of the common knowledge that the waste of ressource and peoples in fights are simply very unreasonable in this hard and dangerous environment.
Mostly rivalries between competing leaders and conflicted over conceived ill-behaviour, such as the stealing of cattle, are fought out in ritualized one-on-one, unarmed fights at the gahterings of tribes.
Two exception of this general rule occur:
Firstly, the inhabitants of regions known as the "shadowlands", there criminals, cannibals and other banished live are mostly attacked on sight, because they are believed to be cursed and to have lost the favour of the gods.
Every couple decades or sometimes centuries the planet is attacked by Orks, hailing from Charadon. The tribes then band together under the leadership of the Twilight Wardens to meet this threat and destroy it for good. Though none as vigiliant defenders of their realm of space, the Twilight Wardens travel as fast as possible to their homeworld and it´s regulary the only occasion they reject distress calls from other theaters of war. This is also the only time the shadowborn, the inhabitants of the shadow-lands are somehow tolerated and sometimes fight with the main population against the deadly threat of the Ork hordes.

The shadowlands and its inhabitants 
The "shadowlands" are a collective term used for a number of regions in which the unwanted of the societies of Enoch´s tribes are banished for one reason or another. They gain their common name from it´s location being often in wastelands under the shadow of big mountains, the most unhospitable places on the planet, salt seas and the most unrelenting deserts. The people living there are all outcasts for various crimes or shortcomings. Cannibalism, murder and other offences to the gods are either sentenced by death or banishment to the shadowlands. In turn cannibalism is mostly excepted there, mostly because the living conditions are so dire, that it is often a neccesity. There isn´t much organisation of a social life there, because herding is mostly impossible there, most live as hunter-gatherers and the only social entity of any value is mostly a nuclear family or small groups only hold together by the strength of a feared leader. 
Sometimes one part of a pair of twins are left and exposed to the elements after birth, because of the difficulties to raise two children at once in an unforgiving environment. Those found and raised by the shadowborn (if they aren´t just killed and eaten) then naturally become shadow-born itself. Other banished are individuals, showing psychic abilities, which are seen as foul witchcraft by the rest of the population. 
The shadow-born have a sinister, vile reputation and said to have an ill temper. 

Religion of the peoples of Enoch
The people of Enoch are deeply spiritual and have many myths concerning the earth, animals and natural phenomena. 
Their pantheon is vast with a myriad of spirits, animal gods and an extensive cult of mythic forfathers and ancestors. 
Two vastly important gods which can be found with any tribes though, are the twin gods (who are also husband and wife) Nami and Iman. 
Mani, known as the Great Father, or the Demanding brings hardships to make his children, the people of Enoch strong, while Iman the Great Mother, the Caring, gifts them out of love. When both are honored through good, just living and their respective rituals an ideal state is preserved if not, ill will befell the people in one way or another. 
Mani shows himself through sunshine, storms and drought and is peronated by the sun, Iman through rain (or floods) and is personated by the moon, clouds and the birth of livestock, Manis time is the day, Inam´s the night. Dusk and dawn, when lions and other dagerous animals prowl to hunt cattle and kill men, is the time when both of them sleep and so men have to fight against nature in order to survive.

"White Obsidian" 
A mysterious very durable, yet light material, dubbed "White Obsidian", is to be found on the planet, venerated as a holy substance by the locals and prized by the Wardens as a decent alternative to ceramite and sometimes used instead of it by the chapter serfs to repair damaged battle-armour or even used by Techmarines as a base material to produce suits of Artificer Armour. It is however, other than the name suggests, not very sharp in its natural form and - as it, just like ceramite, conducts almost no heat or other energy - unsuitable to be crafted into power-weapons. However splinters of it, formed into shards on a molecular basis and applied on combat knives or chainswords are a good way to give a weapon a very durable, decently deadly edge. White obsidian, reduced by extreme heat to a molecular level and compressed under great pressure several times, can even be a replacement for Adamantium, though the means to do it are most often beyond the chapter and it´s techmarines and can sometimes be made on Metalica, but for a hefty prize, mostly in the form of large amounts of this rare substance and so this method is only very rarely done.
The population is organized in somewhat hierarchical structures such as families, clans, great-clans and tribes, with loyalty being more relevant the farther an actual blood-relation is present. Though conflicts do occur, they are rare, as people see the necessity of avoiding bloodshed as it is seen as an evil which most of timeonly cost scarce ressources in menpower and strength. White Obsidian plays a role to distinguish highly honoured persons, both in the Chapter as in the general population of the men of Enoch, aswell as their distinctive religious practices. As it is deemed to holy to be altered in it´s physical form by the people of Enoch, but the chapter sees it´s enorm potential as too valuable to totally miss it out, it is only crafted on the planets space station (and outer arsenal) Assagai.


History:
The Twilight Wardens were founded as part of the Sentinel Founding to protect neighbouring regions from the Arch-Arsonists of Charadons hosts. Requested in particular from Metalica to help protect it trading routes, they engaged in conflicts as they helped fight of greenskin attackers at the surrounding worlds. 
One on of this occasions by trying to defend a well-populated world, fighting at the for-front, the chapter lost it´s entire first company, which was at this point consisting of veterans in tactical dreadnought armour, like in a codex-chapter. Even worse, the rest of the accompanying forces of the Wardens suffered greatly, too, trying to hold an entry point to a town there the bulk of the population had entrenched itself. 
This brought a great change in the chapters organization, each company would know have access to veterans and specialists from this point on and tactics changed from direct engage to tactics of sabotage of supply lines and command structures, feint attacks and tactical retreats, if necessary. 


Culture:
Opposed to many other chapters, the Twilight Wardens have no problem in considering the Emperor a god. 
Deep in their hearts though, they have a problem in considering him the only god, they still rever Nami and Iman in secret. 
Knowing that this would inevitably lead to conflicts with the Ecclessiarchy and the Inquisition, they have a policy of either denying their existence to outsiders or as telling others that they are simply figures of thought and very similiar to the Promethian Cult of the Salamanders. 
They also honour ancestors and dead battle-brothers greatly. They believe they live on in their songs, the war-poems, which are composed and sanctioned by the Chaplains, which enjoy even higher honours as in most other chapters. 
The singing of a war-poem can be initiated in battle by the squads leader and lead to a trance-like state of the squad, evoking past patterns of warfare. It can decrease heart rate, metabolism and even act as a surrogate for normal sleep to a degree increasing the Wardens overall fighting prowress in the long-term, helping them to stay in action over longer times. 
There is also a custom of claiming family relations among officers and troops, battle-brothers claim there captains as their nominal father, taking sometimes ven his last name. 
It has been noted that the Twilight Wardens also practice similiar bonds with warriors of other chapters and even guardsmen which impressed them with their valour and courage, claiming them as nominal brothers and including them in their ever expanding myths over time. 
Regiments or chapters with such members are often more likely to receive aid in need from the Wardens. 
The life of the Wardens is regulated with a lot of rituals and ceremonies for their gods, and a set of highly honoured chapter serfs, which are un-augmented priests of Nami and Iman always travel on their ships.
They perceive themselves primarily as guardians and defendders of menkind, as their former flock as regular humans were cattle, goats and sheep now they watch over the citizens of menkind, the herd among the stars.

Geneseed: 
The Geneseed of the Twilight Wardens shows little to no mutation .An exception is the often malfunctioning Betcher´s Gland. Its origin isn´t entirely clear, though the Administratum list them as Ultramarines successors, the chapter commands claim to be of Imperial Fists descend, specifically being founded by the nearly-extinct Celestial Lions, which they see as spiritual forbears. Though most imperial authorities see this as rather unlikely, it is unwise to denounce this openly while adressing the Wardens, who hold the Celestial Lions in highest regard.


Beliefs:
The Twilights Wardens rever the Emperor as a god (though it is unclear, if he is revered in the ideal way as wished by the Ecclessiarchy), as long with the local gods Nami and Iman, among many other divine beings, (though practices of worship to those are mostly hold in secret and this is not revealed to outsiders). They also believe heavily in fallen battle brothers becoming semi-divine beings, in an unique manner: After a period of time determined by the Chaplains they hold ceremonies, in which the bones of the fallen are burnt. Their legacy is then immortalized in war-poems. At this time their names are purged from official records and forbidden to be used in common language. Instead they are believed to live on in their poems and their names can only be sung.
In this way they live on as spirits guiding their brethren.

Organisation:
Since losing their entire first company, while trying to save a great amount of civilians in a battle against the Greenskins, the former codex-adherent chapter changed tactics and organisation considerably. Using scouting tactics and infiltration as an important element of their battle plans, it maintains a regular scout company, but the other five companies contain ideally marines for every battle role, meaning Devastators, tanks, tactical squads and veterans are all part of a regular company, as well as a companies own scouts (which are mostly more experienced than their regular counterparts in the scout company).
Each regular company is called a Kraal-Company, living as a nominable "tribe" and operate on strike cruiser. The Kraal Company consists of several clans, based on equipment and battle-field roles, named after predators of Enoch, which are the following: jackals are scouts (while the scouts of the "regular" scout company are sometimes dubbed "Fenneks" or "desert foxes"), Tactical Marines are leopards, Devastators and tank personel are Hyenas, Assault Squads, Bikes and Land Speeders are "Cheetas". Each of those units forms a close bond in their respective companies and are referred to as a "hut" (e.g. "the cheeta hut of Kraal Tinashe). A Marine spends the most time of his daily life with his hut and members mostly share a friendly rivalry.
A special entity of the chapter is an elite corps of Greenskin-Hunters, mostly composed of Vanguard Veterans and Assault Terminators, the Eclipse Lions. Those Veterans hate and expertise in killing the Xenos, excels those of their common brethren, by they have also tendencies of recklessness and value human life sometimes less, than other Warden Claws and have a more sinister reputation among the majority of the chapter and the population of Enoch.


Current status: 
Numbers are stressed by near constant campaigns against Orks and other Xenos, but do to a quite high recruitment rate, remain relatively stable. 

Equipment:
The chapters tanks, mostly manufactured and maintained on the fortress-satellite Assagai, surrounding Enoch is of little to medium size and mostly of more common vehicles due to the chapters rather backwater status. It contains a considerable amount of Landspeeders though and keeps it number of drop pods high to quickly engage in battle in the various conflicts and distress calls it has to answer. 
Vehicles of note:

• Lion´s Paw: Landraider (mostly used as personal transport for Chapter Master Chidi Tinashe
• Rainbringer: Whirlwind
• Crack-Jaw: Hunter tank
• Lightening Spear: Landspeeder of the Cheetah hut of Chidi Tinashe Kraal Companys leader Abidemi Abessi
• Adisa Thunderstrike: Venerable Dreadnought
• Retribution of Mani: Land Raider Redeemer

Chapter Relics: - Mercy of Inam: Stalker Bolter 
- Mask of Nami: Artificer-Helmet, used by the chapters Master of Sanctity, currently Samore Mussa
- Beasts´ Woe: Power weapon, great spear ("lionspear")
- Devourer of the Wicked: Heavy Flamer 
Arsenal:

Fortress-Monastery: 
Greatshield is a 30,000 ft high mountain, with a flat plateau on it´s encrested with built in encampments and forticifcationss. Part of the chapters arsenal is kept in the mountain itself. It´s top can be "sealed" with overlapping great plates of bronze-coloured metal with an adamantium core, if needed to shield it from enemy forces from above.
When attackers come, it is a bastion which can hold a large proportion of Enochs weak, children, women and elders.



As I am already writing for hours, I call it a day, now. Hope you enjoyed my creation so far. Will fill in the blanks as soon as possible!

Greetings, Velype!

Edited March 27, 2021 by Kyknos of Athena
Tags edited

[MikhalLeNoir]

I like what you did so far. Can't wait to see more, especially some miniatures

[DaBoiKyknos]

Thanks, for the reply!

I´ve built guys since months, but I don´t have a decent camera right now.

But I´ll try to manage it somehow. Prepare for Woodelves´ shields ans lots of knifes :P.

[DaBoiKyknos]

Updated the organisation section + corrected the Founding, Sentinel Founding is 23rd of course!

Edited November 26, 2017 by LordVelype

[malcharion]

Hey Lord ! 

 

That's a great work that you've made on this ! Love it so far ! We can see the african vibes without it being to cheesy or missused. Also like the détails of the interactions between the Enoch population culture and the chapter. 

The sol thing that I'm not fond of is the meteror thing for the white obsidian. I would have used an extremely rare mineral deposite. It could also give a reason as why the imperium and the mechanicum have interest for the planet in the first place, maybe willing to use those deposit like some of the other planette of the system. But Enoch little amount of it didnt justify to turn it in a mining colonie. ? It could make another link with the African dimons and its mineral welth 

 

Well it's just some thought !

 

Would love to paint one when you're done with the lore part  ;) !

 

Keep up ! 

 

Malchy

[DaBoiKyknos]

Would love to paint one when you're done with the lore part   !

 

Keep up ! 

 

Malchy

Thanks! Will think about the mineral thing. I might have been a bit enchanted by the "sword of the morning"-thing from the "A Song OfIce and Fire"-novels (a legendary knight there has a legendary sword made from metal found in an asteroid), as I came up with this in my mind.

 

You mean painting a model or do an actual painting? 

Could put me a bit under pressure if another frater paints a member of my chapter, far better than I could probably do, haha. 

Edited November 28, 2017 by LordVelype

[DaBoiKyknos]

Elaborated on "White obsidian" and a bit on the "shadowlands". 

More to follow, soon. 

[DaBoiKyknos]

Did a bit on chapter relics, made some ajustments here ans there (e.g.Battle-Cry)...

Edited November 30, 2017 by LordVelype

[Zhiv]

Welcome to Liber.

 

We (I?) salute you for being brave enough to let others scrutinize your text. 

 

The background itself is fine, with nothing striking too wacky or outrageous. I would have maybe wanted to read more about librarians, seeing how the chapter has very unique chapter cult. 

 

Then the remarks / corrections

 

Is the home world Enoch or Henoch as you use both in your text.   

You might want to run the text through proof reader.  This would make it less inhospitable to casual reader.  If it looks like you don't care, it's harder for us to care about the contents.

 

Do note that

it's = it is

it's leader = it is leader 

This mistake repeats a lot.

 

'absense' -> 'absence' 

'ressources' -> 'resources' 

'peronate' -> 'personate'

'dagerous' -> dangerous

'ven' -> 'even'

'menkind' -> 'mankind'

...

 

Also 

'Metalica' -> Metallica

 

What I am curious about is how 'Twilight Wardens' as term used by the locals ended up as chapter name, that is usually granted when the chapter is founded. 

 

 

The planet is regularly attacked by orks and they are resisted by the locals SOMETIMES led by the chapter.  Uh... the chapter is responsible for defending its home world and not doing so sounds bad on paper.  Of course majority of the chapter might be elsewhere but the serfs / servants of the chapter ought still to be there just to make sure this doesn't happen.  Also, if these attacks keep coming, why the chapter has not build orbital defenses strong enough to keep the Orks from making a planetfall?

 

 

White obsidian, reduced by extreme heat to a molecular level and compressed under great pressure several times, can even be a replacement for Adamantium, though the means to do it are most often beyond the chapter and it´s techmarines and can sometimes be made on Metalica, but for a hefty prize, mostly in the form of large amounts of this rare substance and so this method is only very rarely done. 

 

This sentence is horribly long and hard to read.  Also marines don't really have to pay Adeptus Mechanicus for their gear / services as they are required to provide them as stipulated by Treaty of Olympus. 

 

 

 

 

When attackers come, it is a bastion which can hold a large proportion of Enochs weak, children, women and elders

How do they get there in time? The planet is almost as large as ours and they lack modern technology. Transporting millions of people is not something most chapters can viably do seeing how they are equipped to transport thousand marines and no more.

[DaBoiKyknos]

Thanks a lot for the reply.

Yes, there might be some typos I didn´t catch. Some things like the ´s- thing, I still tend to do sometimes, sorry. 

Enoch is the name of the planet. I think it´s a rare English name, derived from the biblical figure "Henoch".(His story is one of exquisite Old Testament strangeness, he lived to the age of 356 years and was actually the first person who ascended to Heaven, because whatever... )  

Like Nucky Thompson from Boardwalk Empire, his real name is actually "Enoch" I think. 

 

For all the other stuff, I will check it carefully, later.

Greetings, Lord Velype 

Edited November 30, 2017 by LordVelype

[Brother Lunkhead]

Thanks for sharing brother and welcome to the DIY ranks! I really like what you've done so far and look forward to more details.

 

The African based lore is quite cool and something we don't see often, so it's a nice treat. As a devote of Biblical literature, I appreciate the use of Henoch and Enoch. Nice touch. Interchanging of the names Henoch and Enoch while might be a bit confusing is not without precedence. Perhaps it is derived from differences within the planetary culture. Might make for something interesting in the backstory.

 

The explanation for the chapter name, Twilight Wardens (cool name) speaks well to it's service and purpose. If the original neophytes were chosen from Enoch when the chapter was first founded that should serve well as to how the chapter got it's name (as there is no set pattern as to how a chapter gets it's name).

 

Good start brother 

[Wargamer]

I'm really not a fan of "oooh! we have mysterious gene seed!" in homebrew. There are so many better ways of doing it. For example...
 

• The Chapter's gene-seed appears to be from x, but the Chapter's history claims they descend from y (an idea my own Chapter uses in part).
• Administratum records hold conflicting information as to the origin, and the gene-seed has mutated enough that either is plausible.
• The Chapter actually has more than one gene-seed due to absorbing another Chapter's remnants.
• The Chapter's gene-tithe appears to belong to x, but for some reason the Chapter displays traits from y (and isn't exactly forthcoming with their gene-seed tithe to begin with...).

Put simply, instead of creating an uninteresting mystery, give us potential sources and a reason why there's confusion.

[DaBoiKyknos]

I'm really not a fan of "oooh! we have mysterious gene seed!" in homebrew. There are so many better ways of doing it. For example...

 

• The Chapter's gene-seed appears to be from x, but the Chapter's history claims they descend from y (an idea my own Chapter uses in part).
• Administratum records hold conflicting information as to the origin, and the gene-seed has mutated enough that either is plausible.
• The Chapter actually has more than one gene-seed due to absorbing another Chapter's remnants.
• The Chapter's gene-tithe appears to belong to x, but for some reason the Chapter displays traits from y (and isn't exactly forthcoming with their gene-seed tithe to begin with...).

Put simply, instead of creating an uninteresting mystery, give us potential sources and a reason why there's confusion.

 

Actually, the gene-seed isn´t that important to me. The important thing to me were my ideas for the culture not a specific "parent" chapter. It´s not really a device to make them more interesting, it was more like I didn´t want to spend too much research on one existing chapter and then having to adjust the character (geneseed etc.) of my chapter to this predecessor. 

I use mostly lexicanum as reference and to many more unknown chapters there are "Geneseed unknown" without it being a big deal.

 

Thanks for sharing brother and welcome to the DIY ranks! I really like what you've done so far and look forward to more details.

 

The African based lore is quite cool and something we don't see often, so it's a nice treat. As a devote of Biblical literature, I appreciate the use of Henoch and Enoch. Nice touch. Interchanging of the names Henoch and Enoch while might be a bit confusing is not without precedence. Perhaps it is derived from differences within the planetary culture. Might make for something interesting in the backstory.

 

The explanation for the chapter name, Twilight Wardens (cool name) speaks well to it's service and purpose. If the original neophytes were chosen from Enoch when the chapter was first founded that should serve well as to how the chapter got it's name (as there is no set pattern as to how a chapter gets it's name).

 

Good start brother

 

Thanks alot, Lunkhead! 

I used the name Enoch to underline their spiritual/ superstitious nature. 

All Twilight Wardens hope to be immortalized as ancestor spirits by essentially becoming war-poems, so there is even a bit of connection to Henoch 

from the bible there. But the name-confusion is really just because of mistakes. 

The name is more used by the Wardens, not so much the general population. As they heard about this ominous Rogue trader by the same name, they took this name very seriously, because names are in a way holy to them.

Edited December 1, 2017 by LordVelype

[Wargamer]

If geneseed isn't important, just pick Ultramarines and be done with it. Geneseed doesn't define your Chapter unless there are mutations associated with it, so giving them a known, stable lineage is better than it being unknown.

[DaBoiKyknos]

I´ll see, i think about what you said it. I didn´t think of it would be much of an issue to make them "unknown". 

I certainly didn´t do it get attention or anything. ;) Thanks fpr your replies, nonetheless.

[Brother Lunkhead]

Unknown gene seed origin is not that unusual. Check loyalist SM chapters in the Lexicanum. There's more unknown stuff in there than known stuff. I don't think it's a big deal.

The Administratum looses important information all the time, so it's not like there is no precedence. Some SM chapters revere Primarchs, others not so much. I don't think it's a big issue. Ultimately it's your chapter to do with as you will. Ave Imperator 

[Olis]

Personally, on the issue of unknown gene-seed, I think knowing is better than not knowing, by a fair margin. Presenting the reader with what amounts to a literary shrug will come off as lazy to some and detracts from the body of work. Now, that being said... elaborating as to why it's an unknown piece of information is a much better approach to the concept. It shows that you have put thought into something that is, often when "unknown" is used, a discarded aspect of an IA. Why does this Chapter not know? Is it classified? Have the records been lost to a catastrophe? What would make a Chapter, a collective organisation of thousands of individuals, lose the knowledge of their own ancestry?

 

I'd like to suggest that you could even write something cryptic. Something that you yourself don't necessarily have to elaborate on but would provide a kernel for future embellishment if desired. Even just slapping =][= REDACTED =][= over several words in an otherwise normal paragraph could potentially suffice. ^_^  

[Brother Lunkhead]

=][=REDACTED=][= sounds like a good way to handle this problem (which is not a real problem....hmm) for now. The unfortunate aspect of putting all of your DIY fluff into a public forum is that some people will not be happy until they know EVERYTHING to THEIR satisfaction. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what is important and what isn't. It's your chapter and it's your right to decide what's important and what isn't. 

 

Do what is good for you. All others can..... well.... you know 

[DaBoiKyknos]

Instead of making the promised update (and correcting all those typos, oh my...) I wanted to ask you, if you think I should incorporate over animals to my chapters homeworld Enoch, apart from the regular african fauna (lions, hyenas, cheetas, antilopes etc).

Maybe some common 40k animals added to the list like Grox and the mighty Carnodon? What do you say? 

[Zhiv]

Instead of making the promised update (and correcting all those typos, oh my...) I wanted to ask you, if you think I should incorporate over animals to my chapters homeworld Enoch, apart from the regular african fauna (lions, hyenas, cheetas, antilopes etc).

Maybe some common 40k animals added to the list like Grox and the mighty Carnodon? What do you say? 

 

Lists for the sake of having lists don't really offer much without context.  If the animals are important to the locals, or feature in the religion / myths, then it might be worthwhile. But even then, they should probably be described in the relevant part as opposed to just listing them.

[DaBoiKyknos]

Yes,I did think of giving them some purpose (the grox as necessary protein supply for the Wardens´ diet/ the Carnodon as a terrifying plague to the lands, which regulary has to be killed by the Wardes (as a rite of passage, too), etc...).

[DaBoiKyknos]

Corrected a few mistakes and took a few adjustments. Geneseed is now "Ultramarines/ Imperial Fists debated" as they claim descendance from the Celestial Lions (which is unlikely, but hey, to each his own! :D).

 

It´s been a while, but I try to get more progress just now...

Cheers, LordVelype

[DaBoiKyknos]

For all who follow and care:

 

With the things I have to take care og in the RL right now, I just seem to not to be able to update this thread, though it is far from finished.

I guess it´s not really a time thing, I just can´t really invest the mental capacities just now. 

If I read the article thoroughly, there surely are things to change and to improve, maybe some passage are even obsoloete by now. 

However it´s just not the time right now I guess. Which doesn´t mean I will update this project in the (nearer) future, but I somehow just are not capable right now to write long articles, sorry. This may change in the coming weeks.

I thank everyone, who commented so far (also the ones who critized stuff, if I didn´t get to improve things which you rightly pointed out as questionable, is it because of the mentioned issues). 

The Twilight Wardens are still my beloved sons, but their fleshing out has to wait a tiny bit still. For we usually think in 40k in centuries and millenia, I´m sure they will understand.   

 

So long, thanks for looking. 

LordVelype

Edited December 20, 2017 by LordVelype

[DaBoiKyknos]

Howdy brothers,

 

I once posted here my IA: Twilight Wardens, but it got deleted some time due to no further activity. 

Quick summary: They draw their recruits from savannah-dwelling herdsmen from a rather primitive world, Enoch. Their world is located near the Ork-Empire of Charadon. 

They have an emphasis on scouts and sabotage. Basically, their main goal is to fight a numerically superior enemy with limited resources and man-power (I still have a whole article about them, but I think I just give the rough draft here, before I rework it anyways).

I struggled a long time to come up with an idea what there predecessors should be. Recently it struck me: 

Crimson Fists !

 

So the new idea is they are basically an experiment, in a lack of a better word, on how to fight large ork hordes with limited means, just as the Crimson Fists had to at the Invasion of Rynn´s World.  

" Since the Ork invasion, the Fists have sworn vengeance on all Ork-kind.^{["(Lexicanum)}

and for that end they initated the creation of a chapter, which "hates the beast from the moment it was born".

To achieve in the goal in making them a chapter of dedicated ork-killers, they have a more or less controlled population of feral orks on their homeworld, so that the population is already accustomed to fight the green-skin. They don´t fight very much like their parent chapter, but that is exactly the point: To create a new chapter, which excells first and formost in battling green-skins and don´t have to follow any restrictions from the Codex Astartes, which the fists follow so rigidly. 

 

So this is my new(ish) idea for my DIY- Chapter. Thing is: I´m not really a Crimson Fist expert and would like to hear from people who are, to make them a really good piece of fan-fiction. All help is appreciated! 

Please let me know that you think and I`ll post the revised article here.

Hopefully this will be the start of great journey! Thanks for your time and attention!

                                                                                                    ~

Kyknos

[Brother Tyler]

Your previous Twilight Wardens article wasn't deleted. It can be seen here.