apologist Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) +Ninjad by the GM!+ AHorriblePerson, I've updated my entry to lead better into yours. In terms of conversation, we've tended to find back-and-forth doesn't lend itself to the format, so I'd suggest that you write the conversation yourself. In terms of dialogue in general, I'll occasionally put words into an individual's mouth (as with Teralil in my most recent post), but try to keep this short. This is to avoid 'piggybacking' a character too much in case it goes against the player's intentions. Instead, I'd suggest you describe the conversation in general terms – 'they discussed further, occasional laughter showing their closeness', or 'anger sparked as the group's discussion threatened to boil over into an argument.' That way you don't have to be as familiar with the voice of individuals, but you can still get across what happens. An example of this is in my edit to the post: 'Led by Montesa, the four gave the two a short debrief, concentrating on the facts of the matter. Even in outline, the deaths of Jor, Alderax, Echion – and laughing Cathar – caused a pall to fall over the reunited squad.' We get the impression Montesa has some form of seniority, that Teralil and Vorr tend to be quite matter-of-fact, that Yeng is happy to sit back, and that all six of them have some form of bond – all without direct speech. Of course, since this is group writing, don't be afraid to talk on an individual's behalf – players can always suggest edits to a character's voice if they feel it's off; and then it's down to them to make sure that their revised answer still leads to the same conclusions of the original post. +++ On Oto Yeng in particular, I'm more than happy – in fact, I'd be delighted – to have him turn up in others' posts. Collaborative writing is a wonderful way to explore a character; and having others describe your characters' words and actions really helps to highlight how a character comes across. Secondly, it allows for a little more camaraderie to be evinced. If everything in inward-looking, writing can tend to become a little gloomy and solipsistic! Edited February 16, 2021 by apologist Xin Ceithan and Deadass 2 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petragor Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) Hmm. Interesting. Edited February 16, 2021 by Petragor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petragor Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Currently considering my next move. All this stuff about writing for other characters is quite... new. Not sure how to go about it... Mazer Rackham 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apologist Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) I hasten to add this is all my approach and opinion – please don't let me push things in a particular direction. Writing style is very personal, so you do you! Getting stuff written and posted is at the core of the game: better to get stuff up, which you can then edit and alter if you wish. Edited February 16, 2021 by apologist Commissar Molotov and Mazer Rackham 2 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petragor Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I hasten to add this is all my approach and opinion – please don't let me push things in a particular direction. Writing style is very personal, so you do you! Getting stuff written and posted is at the core of the game: better to get stuff up, which you can then edit and alter if you wish. Alright, I'm working on a post as we speak, should be ready soon. I'll put up a quick Placeholder. apologist 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazer Rackham Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Apologist gives some good pointers here, and I'm not entirely sure how to frame this, so please take it as an attempt to help. I think the small hurdle you face is that you're in a weird position as a player, rather than a writer, having been dropped into a squad that narratively you know, but as a player have only just met. That is not a criticism. I noticed in the Recruitment thread you'd not ploughed through the IC thread - and I don't blame you. Not even the Emperor himself would sit and trawl through a 5,000 post thread to find out how Yeng takes his recaf! It is way too much. I think the best way to approach this is to go through the dataslate thread and have a look at the characters you're going to mention in your post. Get a good feel for them, what sticks out, then latch onto something about them - anything, their manner, the way they hold themselves. This pulls the players into your post, it's a hook. Maybe mention Yeng's recollection of the Devine Princes, something that makes those characters real. Treat them as characters in a book, that have been donated on trust to you, but that can still say 'no'. The characters will talk to you. Just don't put them in danger and don't make them sound dumb. (Unless that's what the player is going for! :p) This kind of thing will get easier as you spend more time with the characters and the players who run them, and you'll wonder how it stumped you in the first place. I hope that...kind of helps? Writing is hard to give advice on as it's an abstract concept that also has to take into account your style and voice. MR. apologist, Xin Ceithan, Deadass and 3 others 6 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petragor Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Post made. If anyone from Swordhand would like a regicide/wargame scene with Chaka, that would be some nice RP I think. Commissar Molotov 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojake Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Apologist gives some good pointers here, and I'm not entirely sure how to frame this, so please take it as an attempt to help. I think the small hurdle you face is that you're in a weird position as a player, rather than a writer, having been dropped into a squad that narratively you know, but as a player have only just met. That is not a criticism. I noticed in the Recruitment thread you'd not ploughed through the IC thread - and I don't blame you. Not even the Emperor himself would sit and trawl through a 5,000 post thread to find out how Yeng takes his recaf! It is way too much. I think the best way to approach this is to go through the dataslate thread and have a look at the characters you're going to mention in your post. Get a good feel for them, what sticks out, then latch onto something about them - anything, their manner, the way they hold themselves. This pulls the players into your post, it's a hook. Maybe mention Yeng's recollection of the Devine Princes, something that makes those characters real. Treat them as characters in a book, that have been donated on trust to you, but that can still say 'no'. The characters will talk to you. Just don't put them in danger and don't make them sound dumb. (Unless that's what the player is going for! :p) This kind of thing will get easier as you spend more time with the characters and the players who run them, and you'll wonder how it stumped you in the first place. I hope that...kind of helps? Writing is hard to give advice on as it's an abstract concept that also has to take into account your style and voice. MR. Thanks for this, it helped me even though I didn't ask the question. Mazer Rackham 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) Our game, by the nature of the format (on a forum, asynchronously, across multiple time-zones) and due to the interests of the players (or writers) involved, straddles the line between a roleplay and a collaborative short-form fiction writing group, adapting to the prompts I provide you with. Players should in the main avoid taking agency away from other players. This manifests in several ways - asking players permission to include characters in their posts, collaborating via PM for joint posts, and an awareness to edit posts after-the-fact if necessary. Quoting this from two pages ago. I think the fundamental is not to take choice and decision-making away from other players. When using other players in your posts it is best to either work it out in advance, or to only use them in a minor way to keep the narrative flowing - and if that player asks you to go back and edit, then of course be willing to do so. Of course this is only a minor aspect of the game, and once we've had some more posts we can open up the narrative somewhat. Edited February 16, 2021 by Commissar Molotov Mojake, Deadass and Xin Ceithan 3 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Beyond the Light Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Have I missed the posting of entering the shrine? Literally writing it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 I don't think you need to skip anything. It'd be entirely possible for you to have your post in two sections: "During the ceremony, Solza thought... he remembered back when he took his oath, and what it had meant to him...." And then a second part: "Now that Watch-Captain Diocles had brought the proceedings to a halt, Solza decided to..." That Beyond the Light 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojake Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I think it would be interesting for Achillion to have the following interactions: Solastion - Achillion reveres Sanguinary Priests as most of Sanguinius line do. He'd have a deep respect for Solastion, and may seek counsel on his own internal struggles with the flaw. Guillermo Montesa - As a fellow member of the Librarium, it could be interesting to discuss the fluctuations in the warp of late, perhaps performing some divinations. If a specific location on the Watch-Station for Librarians hasn't been described, we could work on that? Sparring partner - Achillion loves a good scrap and has been keeping busy in the cages. If anybody wants to have some back and forth and fight I'd be happy to. Anybody! Librarians often get ignored or are avoided, so if anybody approaches Achillion in a friendly conversational manner he'd be surprised and glad for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Company Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Tyber is always up for a good fight, especially right now, since his brother by choice was taken away he is feeling a little adrift so to speak. He's also in the library looking up the Star Phantoms as well as the Dark Lantern. So I'm happy to work with someone on crafting something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Komrk Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Vorkys would be up for some Regicide with Embe as mentioned in the update. Just let me know if you want to collaborate on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necronaut Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 (edited) I believe Incariel and Helgrim have an upcoming conversation, but the chaplain is happy to speak with any of the new recruits; he bears no prejudices against his fellow Astartes, regardless of how backwards their beliefs are. ;) Edited February 16, 2021 by Necronaut Commissar Molotov 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Beyond the Light Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I think Ekieo would head down to the range to see what the other tactical marines were like. He likes to know how he can assist and use people in order to make the team work as coherently as possible. Im writing up the last post of the ceremony and this new post together. Ill end with him finding the range and letting off some rounds and waiting for others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojake Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Tyber is always up for a good fight, especially right now, since his brother by choice was taken away he is feeling a little adrift so to speak. He's also in the library looking up the Star Phantoms as well as the Dark Lantern. So I'm happy to work with someone on crafting something. :yes: I actually made a subtle reference to sparring with Tyber in my opening post, so more than happy for a round 2! Steel Company 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Company Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Sounds good Mojake, PM me any ideas you've got and we'll work something out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petragor Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 Vorkys would be up for some Regicide with Embe as mentioned in the update. Just let me know if you want to collaborate on that. Sure, would you like to talk here or in PM's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lysimachus Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I think Titus will be slightly disappointed that there wasn't any info on when the teams will be deployed, and will decide to spend his time in practice, was thinking maybe a run around the station perimeter (I know Azurea is considered 'small' but I'm assuming that's relative!) and ending up at the ranges to practice some sniping? Maybe he'll see Ekieo there? That Beyond the Light 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar Molotov Posted February 16, 2021 Author Share Posted February 16, 2021 Adesro - tomorrow I'll write up a piece about Azurea's Forge. Mojake - I haven't detailed anything about the areas for the Librarians. I'm happy to go within reason with anything you write! Mojake 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Beyond the Light Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I think Titus will be slightly disappointed that there wasn't any info on when the teams will be deployed, and will decide to spend his time in practice, was thinking maybe a run around the station perimeter (I know Azurea is considered 'small' but I'm assuming that's relative!) and ending up at the ranges to practice some sniping? Maybe he'll see Ekieo there? Yeah he will be there and will be interesting to see who is the better shot Lysimachus 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashlander47 Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 After his scheduled therapy session with Helgrim, Incariel will be heading off to the firing ranges to blow things up with a heavy bolter, so I'm open to having someone chime in or simply cameo in another nearby brother's post. That Beyond the Light 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That Beyond the Light Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 After his scheduled therapy session with Helgrim, Incariel will be heading off to the firing ranges to blow things up with a heavy bolter, so I'm open to having someone chime in or simply cameo in another nearby brother's post. Could be quite amusing that people are trying to be precise and then along comes the big guns and shreds! Lysimachus and ashlander47 2 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lysimachus Posted February 16, 2021 Share Posted February 16, 2021 I think Titus will be slightly disappointed that there wasn't any info on when the teams will be deployed, and will decide to spend his time in practice, was thinking maybe a run around the station perimeter (I know Azurea is considered 'small' but I'm assuming that's relative!) and ending up at the ranges to practice some sniping? Maybe he'll see Ekieo there? Yeah he will be there and will be interesting to see who is the better shot ;) So, Titus has just arrived at the ranges. I don't really know how you'd quantify who's the better shot? Rules wise, Titus is BS52, but the fact he's got Bolter Mastery (+10 to hit with a bolt weapon) and Marksman (no negative modifier for range) Skills, plus his personal boltgun will be represented by (hopefully) requisitioning a Stalker (Accurate +20 to hit if he aims and with Range 200m) with Red dot sight (+10 to hit) and Kraken rounds (increase basic range by 50% to 300m) will mean that he's shooting stuff a 1000m away pretty comfortably. Ekieo might well have all of that too though, and better base BS to boot? Anyway, regardless of who is better, I very much like the idea of them getting into it all precise and stuff, and Incariel coming along midway through and blowing the hell out of the target with massed HB shots!! :D ashlander47 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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