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Index Traitoris: The Unchained Confederation (WIP)


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This is what I have as a start to my Chaos counterpart to my Bloodmoon Hunters. Chaos is not usually my thing but I wanted to show the dark side of the Bloodmoon Hunters way of doing things as well as the Hereteks of Mjorn who take their Xenarite beliefs too far.

The Unchained Confederation is a chaos warband that was created from the thirst for innovation, power and knowledge. They are a grouping of warbands that no longer believe in the Sanctity or righteousness of the Emperor. They feel that the Emperor's rules and visions bog them down from acquiring the power and knowledge that could make them a Power House in the Universe. Although they do not share knowledge and information between the many parts of the warband, they are quite effective considering their erratic and adaptable fighting style. Not knowing exactly who their leader is, puts them at an advantage for their leader cannot be found and killed to terminate the warband activity and if, by happenstance, she was to be killed, any other member can keep the warband together because only a select few know who the leader is. This warband is very adverse to being bogged down by rules and are quite successful in their mission for knowledge and innovation.

Warband Organisation

The Unchained Confederation are a loose gathering of groups under various war leaders who provide mutual support for supplies and otherwise but mainly work their own individual objectives as dictated by their leaders. A mysterious female Heretek is the ultimate leader of this loose confederation but few in the warband know and even fewer if any outside it. The Unchained Cofederation is divided into numerous independent groups which have limited knowledge of their counterparts. This ensures that should one group be compromised, the others would not be captured.

Combat Doctrine

The Warband shows a high-degree of adaptability in battle, both in terms of tactics and the weapons its members employ. When an enemy counters one tactic used by the Unchained, the war leader plans accordingly, adapts, and changes strategy, enabling it to outmaneuver its enemies and catch them completely off-guard. Flexibility and willingness to adapt to their situation represents the core of the Warband's combat doctrine. As they prepare to engage their opponents, these members are always careful to identify all of their assets and utilize them to the fullest means possible. These often include assets that are not identified within the constraints of the Codex Astartes. These members often choose to take measures that others might consider dishonorable.

The Hereteks of the Unchained are enigmatic figures in an expansive organization which trades in information and technology, always selling to the highest bidder. The Hereteks appear to be highly competent in their trade: all secrets and technology that are bought and sold never allow one customer of them to gain a significant advantage, forcing the customers to continue trading information to avoid becoming disadvantaged, allowing them to remain in business. These Hereteks supports the principle that any methods of advancing humanity's ascension are entirely justified, including illegal or dangerous experimentation, terrorist activities, sabotage and assassination. Their operatives accept that these methods are brutal, but believe history will vindicate them. Communication throughout the Unchained sometimes takes the form of steganographic messages embedded within broadcasts and other forms of media.

Warband Beliefs

Freedom from the shackles of the Imperium is one of the few unifying concepts of the Unchained Confederation. Most consider the lack of freedom as the greatest punishment and the greatest sin.

The Unchained Astartes seem to bear little respect for anyone or anything, save for power and innovation. They tend to show no love for civility or deference when dealing with others, but they have been known to show pleasure in testing their skills against worthy foes. The Unchained Astartes have made deals with Hereteks, many from Mjorn to continue their trend of improving upon themselves seeking perfection. Many have fallen either to Slannesh or Khorne due either to a mentality for Perfection or Bloodlust of the hunt. What balances these forces of the Chaos Undivided leaders who unite them under their banners. A very very few fall to Tzeentch getting caught up in making ever more complex plans for ambush. Nurgle is represented as well for various reasons but these are another minority. A great many of the Unchained see the gods as a pantheon and a tool. A path to power and as a whole the groups follow no centralized set beliefs.

Mjorn Xenarites Hereteks continue to pursue of forbidden xenos technology. Such is their curiosity, they wage war against the alien races of the galaxy not to conquer or exterminate, but to study. The Xenarites are dedicated to the study and exploitation of alien technology, a policy which most Tech-priests off of Mjorn find highly offensive. Xenarite Heretek expeditions attack alien populations, planetary garrisons, even the Skitarii Legions of other Forge Worlds. Open war with Imperial authorities common. These Hereteks pursue the dark path of tech-heresy completely on their own, forging their own roads to damnation independent of any direct connection to Chaos or the Dark Mechanicum, though still wholly in violation of the strictures of the Cult of the Machine God. They support the Astartes of the Unchained to improve upon them and use them as a steady supply source. It is among the Hereteks, Tzeentch has a greater following. Hereteks involve themselves in innovation and manipulation heavily. 
 
Homebase

 
The Chained Barque is an ancient and highly complex device constructed by unknown Xenos as a superweapon, but never successfully implemented before their extinction. It is unknown who initially began the development of the Chained Barque. Countless different species obtained and made contributions to the design over the course of millions of years, but none successfully deployed it. Despite the Chained Barque's elegant design, techpriests could only determine that the device exploited the same technology, and were left to speculate on how it would ultimately function. Experimental mixtures of compounds were to make a more efficient fuel for Barque traveling long distances. The interferometric array into the Barque's systems results in a real-time map of a Sub-sector. The Chained Barque serves as both a data repository and stealth ship for the enigmatic information traders. The ship ingeniously draws it power from the thunderstorms raging constantly on one of their hidden base planets that they set it to orbit, relying on an interlocking system of kinetic barriers, grounding rods and capacitors to avoid being ripped apart. Cortical implants allow users to "see" screens projected in front of them. A user's eye movements are tracked, syncing to hand gestures as they sift through data.

Notable Warband Members


Ciara Ghlic - The Mysterious leader of the Unchained Confederation. What little is known about her other than she is a Dark Skinned Renegade from the Forge World Mjorn. She was a follower of the Xenarite principles. Known now as Mistress Shackle, she manipulates and controls the Unchained Confederation central leaders. Ruling from the shadows on her massive Barque, she has access to information through many and sometimes unknown methods. Her most dangerous weapons are her abilities to process information and her willingness to use such information. Edited by TechCaptain
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This looks like a good start to me, a loose confederation of support works nicely for Chaos as there are many variables in play. A collection of those accepting that this is the case (and wanting to protect their autonomy and goals) means they can have some degree of reliability so long as their all maintain the interdependent need and support. There's nice scope for suitable issues too, as there could be the lingering threat that they end up in too sticky a situation and the others decide it's not worth it...

 

With their focus on power and innovation Tzeentch seems a particular missing link, I would have expected a stronger following especially given their adaptive plans in response to the enemy? Unless he secretly pulls the strings behind the scenes ;)

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  • 5 months later...

Looks like a good start.

 

Suggest adding something early in the text about the makeup of the warband  - nearl CSM only, mostly CSM leadership over renegade IG, CSM leadership over cult/mutant rabble, any xenos, any knights, etcetera - so people get an idea abo

 

 

Also, maybe mention something about their attitude to other Chaos factions, the heretical technology they creat/use, and/or what they are going after when raidin.

Edited by Gamiel
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  • 2 weeks later...

Good points.

 

Besides the leader who is former Admech, I don't really know the makeup of the Confederation other it is majority Admech/Bloodmoon Hunter exiles.

I'm personally a fan of warbands that are made up by different groups: so I suggest a council made up 50% by ex-Bloodmoon Hunters, human(?) pirate-admiral/s, aeldari exile/s (maybe even a Wrack who has been punished by his coven to serve the Unchained), hereteks with different specialisation, and/or a member of a minor xeno group. For extra internal conflict could you have that an important possition is taken by a astartes not from the Hunters (ex. the spymaster is an Alpha Legion member or fallen Dark Angel; the master of logistics is an Ultramarine).

 

Also a thought, since Ciara Ghlic is a Dark Admech maybe most of the interaction between her and the ex-Bloodmoon Hunters is through their techmarine/s?

 

Maybe also think about what Chapter traditions the ex-Bloodmoon Hunters have kept, which they have thrown to the side and which one they have twisted

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Good points.

 

Besides the leader who is former Admech, I don't really know the makeup of the Confederation other it is majority Admech/Bloodmoon Hunter exiles.

I'm personally a fan of warbands that are made up by different groups: so I suggest a council made up 50% by ex-Bloodmoon Hunters, human(?) pirate-admiral/s, aeldari exile/s (maybe even a Wrack who has been punished by his coven to serve the Unchained), hereteks with different specialisation, and/or a member of a minor xeno group. For extra internal conflict could you have that an important possition is taken by a astartes not from the Hunters (ex. the spymaster is an Alpha Legion member or fallen Dark Angel; the master of logistics is an Ultramarine).

 

Also a thought, since Ciara Ghlic is a Dark Admech maybe most of the interaction between her and the ex-Bloodmoon Hunters is through their techmarine/s?

 

Maybe also think about what Chapter traditions the ex-Bloodmoon Hunters have kept, which they have thrown to the side and which one they have twisted

 

A bastard version of the Master's Council fits pretty well especially for the ex-Bloodmoon Hunters as the actual Chapter has a Council made up of Captains and Techmarines basically. I am going to have to dig into this and give it some thought as this will definitely make this warband more their own thing.

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  • 4 months later...

From the RP section as a new character of the Unchained Confederation, also one of my fellow RPers agreed for his Heretek Character will also be one as well. Though someone much differently themed than this guy.

 

Former Adept Scairp Bróicéir

 

A manipulative information broker and Heretek from Mjorn. A former member of the Divisio Juris, he specialized in assassination and interrogation for Mjorn but his real talent was in crafting fine armors and weapons. Though a natural craftsman, he learned the needed skills of lying and soon grew to speak in various tongues of those he interrogated. He broke from the Mechanicus while assigned to Explorator fleet for the crimes of innovation in front of those Puritian fools of Mars or so he has said. Scairp also once said that he was a Genator that experimented on the Felinids of Duzimid until one of his fellows grew jealous and destroyed his research forcing him into exile. Another story of his past is that he was accused of using Durkari drugs on some of his fellows. 

 

A member of the Unchained Confederation. A chaos warband that was created from the thirst for innovation, power and knowledge. They are a grouping of warbands that no longer believe in the Sanctity or righteousness of the Emperor. They feel that the Emperor's rules and visions bog them down from acquiring the power and knowledge that could make them a Power House in the Universe. Although they do not share knowledge and information between the many parts of the warband, they are quite effective considering their erratic and adaptable fighting style. Not knowing exactly who their leader is, puts them at an advantage for their leader cannot be found and killed to terminate the warband activity and if, by happenstance, she was to be killed, any other member can keep the warband together because only a select few know who the leader is. This warband is very adverse to being bogged down by rules and are quite successful in their mission for knowledge and innovation.

 

Outwardly, Scairp is gregarious and polite, traits that he uses to obscure people's knowledge, or suspicion, of his actually vicious and sadistic nature. Despite his image of an optimistic and well-mannered being, he is known to be deceitful, among those whom he considers to be "friends". Scairp is secretive, often creating elaborate stories about himself to avoid scrutiny about his exile. One of Scairp's basic philosophies is "Never tell the truth when a lie will do."

 

Scairp Bróicéir is a short man with oddly silted eyes and feline mannerisms. He appears to be a friendly man and is popular with the Astartes as he is always eager to help and answer any technical questions they may have. Being significantly shorter and scrawny, they view him as a knowledgeable man and they tend to listen to his advice, which he uses to his advantage, strategically and slow incorporating either misinformation or suggestions in order to open the mind of those that listen to him, to the possibility of chaos. No one doubts his intention because when he first meets someone, all his answers are in sync with the Imperial creed. He also sports Mechanicus given retractable claws and is swift like a cat when using them, it is usually the last thing enemies see of this treacherous man. His Las Mechadendrite is attached to his lower spine acting as a balancing tail that he could easily hid in his robes.

 

Mjornian Sicarians hunting him devour each source of information looking for the traitor that took so much Xenarite knowledge with him. Having hid out with the Drukhari in Commorragh supposedly had turned against a Haemonculus who he was understudying with, he now wors for hire with Kabals and other less savory groups on a whim, or at least as another story goes. 

 

For GMs eyes only below

Human

Heretek, 20 base points + 100 point buy, maximum of +20 to stat

Pride:

Craftmanship:

Characteristic modifier: +1 Infamy, +3 Agility, +3 Intelligence, –3 Weapon Skill, –3 Ballistic Skill.

 

Disgrace:

Deceit:

Characteristic modifier: +2 Infamy, –4 Perception.

 

Motivation:

Innovation:

Starting Corruption: +2 Corruption. Starting Characteristics: +3 Intelligence. Starting Wounds: –2 Wounds.

 

Stats

WS: 27

BS: 22

STR: 25

TGH: 25

AGL: 28

INT: 51

PER: 26

WP: 35

FEL: 35

INF: 33

Wounds: 16

Corruption: + 2

 

Skills

Logic,

Common Lore (Adeptus Mechanicus, Tech),

Tech Use,

Parry,

Security,

Forbidden Lore (Xenos),

Scholastic Lore (Chymistry),

Interrogation,

Inquiry,

Linguistics (Low Gothic, Techna-Lingua),

Trade [Chymistry], 

Medicae

Deceive

 

Talents

Die Hard,

Technical Knock,

Weapon Training (Las, Primary, Shock),

Weapon Training (Power),

Mechadendrite Training (Weapon),

Meditation,

Armour-Monger

Enemy (Adeptus Mechanicus),

Polygot,

Luminen Shock,

The Quick and The Dead, 

Binary Chatter,

Lesser Minion of Chaos (Must be servitor or servo-skull)

 

Equipment and Bionics

Light Carapace Armour

Unholy Unguents

Combi-tool

Dataslate

Ballistic Mechadendrite with Laspistol

Lumenin Capacitors

Best Craftsmanship Blade Tines {{''Unarmed'' 1d5+4 Physical, 1d10+3 Energy, Tearing, Shocking, Toxin(0) Pen 3}}

Good Craftsmanship Nerve Induction Tine

Best Craftsmanship Static Needler Bionic {{Static Needler Bionic Basic 80m S/3/– 1d10+1 E 0 6 Full Haywire (1), Toxin(1)}}

Electro-Graft

Electoo Inductors

Respirator Unit

Cyber Mantle

Potentia Coil

Cranial Circuitry

 

Servo-Skull S.A.M. (Survey Analysis Module)

WS: 5

BS: 5 

STR: 5

TGH: 20

AGL: 30

INT: 5

PER: 15

WP: 10

FEL: 5 

Wounds:  4

 

Skills

Awareness

Deceive

Linguistics (Techna-Lingua, Xeno Markings)

Scholastic Lore (Cryptology)

 

Talents and Traits

Phasic,

Machine (2),

Sonar Sense

Mimic

 

Equipment

Good Craftsmanship Auspex,

Comm Leach

Eclipse Pulsator

Strummer

Xeno Plating

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Not my character obviously but now a part of the Unchained Confederation lore as one of the few Khorne centric followers and a peek in how things can be manipulated.

 

War-Heretek Ollkyrax the Battlesmith"Forging tools of war is a great honor, second only to using them."

A former Skitarii sergeant promoted to Tech-Priest, this warrior detested the Mechanicus' impersonal ranged tactics, and never lost the taste for close quarters battle. Eventually, during a deployment against chaos forces, he gave in to whispers of great power and forbidden innovation, betraying his fellows in favour of the Unchained Confederation they were fighting against. Sabotaging critical wargear and creating a gap in the perimeter, the battle was over before it began. Upon officially joining the Confederation, he gave himself the seemingly random name Ollkyrax, which is in fact based on his old Skitariius designation "011-Killer-Ypsilon/Radex".

Ollkyrax has since participated in many frontline battles with the Unchained Confederation, and forged them many tools of war, the most infamous of which being the agressive Strife-Pattern War Servitor. The Heretek himself is agressive in the extreme, and rather charismatic when it comes to advocating for a violent solution to any given problem. As it is with many followers of chaos, war is not a means to an end for him, but an end in itself.

Physically, Ollkyrax is lean and strong for his size, often charging into melee with his swift bionic legs and desecrated Omnissian axe, cut in half and parted with it's holy tools in favour of a more specialized Heretek toolkit. His face is the only part visible under his armor and tattered mechanicus robes, and even that is covered in protective layers of metal to ensure any charge into glorius combat is successful.For GM:

Name: Ollkyrax

Race: Human

Wounds: 17

Corruption: 5

Infamy Points: 2/2

Stats:

WS: 41

BS: 28

S: 41

T: 43

AG: 37

Int: 37

Per: 37

WP: 39

Fel: 49

Inf: 26

Skills:

Command

Common Lore (AdMech, Imperium, Tech, War)

Forbidden Lore (Archeotech)

Linguistics (Low Gothic)

Logic

Parry

Tech-Use +10

Scholastic Lore (Astromancy)

Trade (Armourer)

Traits:

Mechanicus Implants

The Quick and the Dead

Talents:

Die Hard

Technical Knock

Weapon Training (Las, Primary, Shock, Power)

Mechadendrite Training (Weapon)

Meditation

Weapon-Tech

Lesser Minion of Chaos

Enemy (AdMech)

Gear:

Best Las Carbine (75m, S/2/-, 1d10+3, Pen:0, Clip:60, Never Jams, Las Variable)

Common Power Axe (1d10+11, Pen 6, Power Field, Unbalanced)

Best Shield (Defensive, +10 WS)

Light Carapace Armour (5, Arms, Body, Head)

Poor Conversion Field (50, 1-15 overload)

Good Cybernetic Legs (Sprint)

Good Cranial Armor (+2 Head Armor, -1 crit damage)

Ligature Oils (Clear weapon jam)

Combi-Tool (+10 Tech-Use)

Dataslate

Ballistic Mechadendrite Laspistol (30m, S/2/-, 1d10+2, Pen:0, Reliable, Las Variable)

Maglev Coils (Float or break falls)

2 Lascarbine Magazines

Total XP: 1000

Spent: 950

Unspent: 50

Command +0 (Khorne, 200 allied)

Fel +5 (Slaneesh, 250 allied)

Fel +10 (Slaneesh, 500 allied)

Failings:

Pride: Craftsmanship

Disgrace: Destruction

Motivation: Violence

Minions:

Strife-Pattern Servitor (Lesser)

Wounds: 7

Stats:

WS: 25

BS: 1

S: 20

T: 30

AG: 20

Int: 1

Per: 1

WP: 1

Fel: 1

Skills:

Acrobatics

Athletics

Dodge

Stealth

Traits:

Machine (3)

Quadruped

Talents:

Berserk Charge

Double Team

Flesh Render

Sound Constitution

Weapon training (Chain)

Gear:

Chain Greatsword

Guard Flak Armour

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Also by the other author this beautiful war machine lol.

 

The Strife-Pattern Servitor is a combat servitor invented by the Heretek Ollkyrax, as his first dabbling in creating his own designs for machines of war. It is a quadrupedal war walker, four legs attached underneath a rectangular connection chassis, holding up the torso which is more humanoid, and wielding a massive chainsword in both hands. The servitor is well-armored, but the internal components and tissue are brittle, and therefore it doesn't fare well against neither sustained, nor heavy fire. The servitor has little use besides combat, as most of the already limited computing capacity is used exclusively for blade trajectories, servomuscle-management and acceleration calculators.

 

It is employed in bulk as cannon fodder, charging quickly towards opponents to slice them to pieces before they can respond with ranged fire. They fit well within the Unchained Confederations flexible combat doctrine, allowing them to probe an enemy's strengths and weaknesses with the expendable servitors before deploying more valuable units.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 1 month later...

I see that you are on hiatus, but having not come across this thread until now I figure I will share some feedback. Overall I like the article. I agree with WarriorFish that a loose confederacy is a very fitting organizational structure for a warband. A fluid and loose organization especially lends itself to a warband with the combat doctrine that you've outlined in your article.

What I did find unclear on my initial few read-throughs was the relationship of the Bloodmoon Hunters to the Unchained Confederation. You mentioned the Bloodmoon Hunters in your intro so I assumed that the warband consisted of fallen members of the chapter. This wasn't explicitly stated in the article so I was unsure. I checked the Bloodmoon Hunters article to see if I could get any details and saw that the two groups have similar combat doctrines. So then I thought maybe the Unchained Confederacy were a thematic counterpart to the Bloodmoon Hunters similar to how the Iron Warriors can be seen as a counterpart to the Imperial Fists. Then reading through the comments it appears that the Confederacy is primarily made up of Bloodmoon Hunters. When you next update this, maybe that is something you could clarify in the article. Maybe you could add an origins section.

 

I really like the bits about the Chained Barque. It's mysterious. It's forbidden xenos tech. It's got a gothic sounding name. It's great.

What I would like to see explored more is the relationship between the Unchained and Mjorn. It's an interesting dynamic that I think could give the article some real differentiation from other renegade groups. It's not directly described in the article, but a google search led me to your article on the 40khomebrew wiki. It appears that Mjorn is not a full on traitor forgeworld, and is still in general compliance with the Imperium. If so that is an interesting angle. The priests of Mjorn are doing naughty exploration of xenotech and to keep it under the table they use the Unchained as their source of contraband? This would give the Unchained significant leverage over a forgeworld. You mentioned that they primarily trade in information, is there an unspoken threat of blackmail? Perhaps that is how they manage to stay supplied without their loyalist supply chains.
 

 

Warband Beliefs

Freedom from the shackles of the Imperium is one of the few unifying concepts of the Unchained Confederation. Most consider the lack of freedom as the greatest punishment and the greatest sin.

The Unchained Astartes seem to bear little respect for anyone or anything, save for power and innovation. They tend to show no love for civility or deference when dealing with others, but they have been known to show pleasure in testing their skills against worthy foes. The Unchained Astartes have made deals with Hereteks, many from Mjorn to continue their trend of improving upon themselves seeking perfection. Many have fallen either to Slannesh or Khorne due either to a mentality for Perfection or Bloodlust of the hunt. What balances these forces of the Chaos Undivided leaders who unite them under their banners. A very very few fall to Tzeentch getting caught up in making ever more complex plans for ambush. Nurgle is represented as well for various reasons but these are another minority. A great many of the Unchained see the gods as a pantheon and a tool. A path to power and as a whole the groups follow no centralized set beliefs.

This line I highlighted stood out to me. Initially I would have suggested cutting the parts of the paragraph that mentioned the specific chaos gods as it feels to me like details without real substance. But I think the parts about many marines being dedicated to Khorne and Slaanesh is some actual substance. This ideological difference could be part of the reason why they are the Unchained Confederacy and not the Unchained Legion (or some other more unified force). If it were me, I wouldn't spend any time mentioning the minority cults in the group. I would say that they follow chaos undivided, and I would mention that within the Unchained rival cults of Khorne and Slaanesh are growing in influence and that the tension between these two groups is causing internal friction.

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  • 2 months later...

I see that you are on hiatus, but having not come across this thread until now I figure I will share some feedback. Overall I like the article. I agree with WarriorFish that a loose confederacy is a very fitting organizational structure for a warband. A fluid and loose organization especially lends itself to a warband with the combat doctrine that you've outlined in your article.

 

What I did find unclear on my initial few read-throughs was the relationship of the Bloodmoon Hunters to the Unchained Confederation. You mentioned the Bloodmoon Hunters in your intro so I assumed that the warband consisted of fallen members of the chapter. This wasn't explicitly stated in the article so I was unsure. I checked the Bloodmoon Hunters article to see if I could get any details and saw that the two groups have similar combat doctrines. So then I thought maybe the Unchained Confederacy were a thematic counterpart to the Bloodmoon Hunters similar to how the Iron Warriors can be seen as a counterpart to the Imperial Fists. Then reading through the comments it appears that the Confederacy is primarily made up of Bloodmoon Hunters. When you next update this, maybe that is something you could clarify in the article. Maybe you could add an origins section.

 

I really like the bits about the Chained Barque. It's mysterious. It's forbidden xenos tech. It's got a gothic sounding name. It's great.

 

What I would like to see explored more is the relationship between the Unchained and Mjorn. It's an interesting dynamic that I think could give the article some real differentiation from other renegade groups. It's not directly described in the article, but a google search led me to your article on the 40khomebrew wiki. It appears that Mjorn is not a full on traitor forgeworld, and is still in general compliance with the Imperium. If so that is an interesting angle. The priests of Mjorn are doing naughty exploration of xenotech and to keep it under the table they use the Unchained as their source of contraband? This would give the Unchained significant leverage over a forgeworld. You mentioned that they primarily trade in information, is there an unspoken threat of blackmail? Perhaps that is how they manage to stay supplied without their loyalist supply chains.

 

 

Warband Beliefs

Freedom from the shackles of the Imperium is one of the few unifying concepts of the Unchained Confederation. Most consider the lack of freedom as the greatest punishment and the greatest sin.

 

The Unchained Astartes seem to bear little respect for anyone or anything, save for power and innovation. They tend to show no love for civility or deference when dealing with others, but they have been known to show pleasure in testing their skills against worthy foes. The Unchained Astartes have made deals with Hereteks, many from Mjorn to continue their trend of improving upon themselves seeking perfection. Many have fallen either to Slannesh or Khorne due either to a mentality for Perfection or Bloodlust of the hunt. What balances these forces of the Chaos Undivided leaders who unite them under their banners. A very very few fall to Tzeentch getting caught up in making ever more complex plans for ambush. Nurgle is represented as well for various reasons but these are another minority. A great many of the Unchained see the gods as a pantheon and a tool. A path to power and as a whole the groups follow no centralized set beliefs.

This line I highlighted stood out to me. Initially I would have suggested cutting the parts of the paragraph that mentioned the specific chaos gods as it feels to me like details without real substance. But I think the parts about many marines being dedicated to Khorne and Slaanesh is some actual substance. This ideological difference could be part of the reason why they are the Unchained Confederacy and not the Unchained Legion (or some other more unified force). If it were me, I wouldn't spend any time mentioning the minority cults in the group. I would say that they follow chaos undivided, and I would mention that within the Unchained rival cults of Khorne and Slaanesh are growing in influence and that the tension between these two groups is causing internal friction.

Thanks for this feedback. I am back and I am loving this kind of in depth review. It is what I strive for in building a world in which interests folks. Your ideas have great merit and I am working on fitting them in my vision to see how to word it. 

 

Edit: Though to answer some questions as I work how to thematically add it to the article. Mjorn and Bloodmoon Hunters are the two primary loyalist counterparts to the Unchained. So they share that distinction, though I like the idea of a much more complex relationship with my Radical Forgeworld. Maybe a bit of a intrigue with some of my subfactions on that world. Don't quite know yet. 

 

And your right I should probably reorganize how I represent the four Chaos Gods. For Tzeentch and Nurgle are not so minor but minor to the Astartes, they are much more represented by the Former Techpriests of Mjorn. 

Edited by TechCaptain
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  • 7 months later...

So I am putting here three incomplete Character ideas for commanders within the Unchained Confederation. Open to ideas and stuff to flesh these three out.

 

1. A Former Mjorn Techpriest who discovered technology that allows him to exist as an electromagnetic entity. He corrupts and manipulates information and technology. Has several bodies of mechanical nature that he possesses. Follower of Zeetch, and this is partially expressed by his ever changing form and lines of code that can be interpreted as his life force in a machine.

 

2. A Former Bloodmoon Hunter now a Pack Master of beastmen, spawn, and horrors in service to Slannesh searching for the perfect form for Hunting. Experiments with genetics and bionics becoming a Beastial Biomechanical Horror of the Hunt. Has spider’s eyes, retractable claws, fangs, and scaled skin.

 

3. A Former Lunar Venatorii Cavalry Officer turned into a melding of Bike and man like Centaur Lancer who leads lost and damned.

Edited by TechCaptain
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Boyohboy... don't know how I missed this one:oops: Nice work here Brother Tech:thumbsup:

 

 

So I am putting here three incomplete Character ideas for commanders within the Unchained Confederation. Open to ideas and stuff to flesh these three out.

1. A Former Mjorn Techpriest who discovered technology that allows him to exist as an electromagnetic entity. He corrupts and manipulates information and technology. Has several bodies of mechanical nature that he possesses. Follower of Zeetch, and this is partially expressed by his ever changing form and lines of code that can be interpreted as his life force in a machine.

2. A Former Bloodmoon Hunter now a Pack Master of beastmen, spawn, and horrors in service to Slannesh searching for the perfect form for Hunting. Experiments with genetics and bionics becoming a Beastial Biomechanical Horror of the Hunt. Has spider’s eyes, retractable claws, fangs, and scaled skin.

3. A Former Lunar Venatorii Cavalry Officer turned into a melding of Bike and man like Centaur Lancer who leads lost and damned.

These are all super ideas. I especially like the ex-Mjorn Techpriest.... Is he a deamon prince? Looks like it to me, as this all looks like dark mech stuff that only a daemon prince could survive and thrive. 

 

I'll give some feedback to you on this asap. Really looking forward to seeing more:yes:

Edited by Brother Lunkhead
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For the former Bloodmoon Hunter. Naming him currently as The Tethered Brother. An Ancient Astartes who defected it was abandoned by the Bloodmoon Hunters, no one knows for sure. A master of many disciplines, he is rumored to have been an Apothecary or a Artificer. He experiments incessantly on himself and his pack that has replaced his brothers. A large collection of misshapen hoot Irs call him either Father or Brother. He leads with an Iron Fist getting immense pleasure from his experimentation. Continuous raiding of Imperial and Xenos facilities for advances in technology and medicine searching for the perfect body and the perfect Hunt. The Punisher of those that violate contracts with the Unchained Confederation, he maintains a high position in the organization. Charging around in a Frigate that the Drukari have modified to his specifications, his movements are hard to trace.

 

For the former Mjornian Techpriest I am unsure of his demonic level yet since he exists mainly without a body which demons are kind of restricted with And I want his state somewhat technology driven. I also want him to be able to pilot/control several bodies.

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For the former Mjornian Techpriest I am unsure of his demonic level yet since he exists mainly without a body which demons are kind of restricted with And I want his state somewhat technology driven. I also want him to be able to pilot/control several bodies.

That sounds very daemonic to me:happy.: In defense of this idea, he could have a cadre of devotees that he can possess, which allows him to exist and perform his various nefarious deeds as needs be. Daemonic existence in the 40Kverse is documented in lore to be flexible enough to allow a wide latitude in creative interpretation.

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For the former Mjornian Techpriest I am unsure of his demonic level yet since he exists mainly without a body which demons are kind of restricted with And I want his state somewhat technology driven. I also want him to be able to pilot/control several bodies.

 

That sounds very daemonic to me^_^ In defense of this idea, he could have a cadre of devotees that he can possess, which allows him to exist and perform his various nefarious deeds as needs be. Daemonic existence in the 40Kverse is documented in lore to be flexible enough to allow a wide latitude in creative interpretation.

That kind of goes with how I feel except his devotees are him and vice versa. I was thinking he possessed a range of Admech bodies that he posses one or all of them at any given time. Killing them does no good and since he is only partially demonic true name grey knight magic isn’t as effective on him since he isn’t a warp creature really.

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Another thing I need names help. I was thinking all their titles should be chain themed with Mjornian having a Technical or Celtic bent and Tarakonian being even more Celtic bent with a touch of Southern or Western American.
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That kind of goes with how I feel except his devotees are him and vice versa. I was thinking he possessed a range of Admech bodies that he posses one or all of them at any given time. Killing them does no good and since he is only partially demonic true name grey knight magic isn’t as effective on him since he isn’t a warp creature really.

 

:happy.:... That could work:yes: I'll buy that for a dollar:thumbsup:

 

 

Another thing I need names help. I was thinking all their titles should be chain themed with Mjornian having a Technical or Celtic bent and Tarakonian being even more Celtic bent with a touch of Southern or Western American.

Southern or Western America in what sense? First Nations or Western European? If Westen European influence, are you thinking Spanish, French, Anglo, pioneers, or some combination? If First Nations, which one(s). S/W American covers a lot of cultures and histories:wacko:

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So this is my basic breakdown of influences:

Whole Subsector has Celtic influence specifically Gaelic or bastardized Gaelic naming

Bloodmoon Hunters - Hunting cultures, animals, barbaric tendencies mixed with high tech

Mjorn is just a mix of Admech with the Celtic flavor emphasis on electronic warfare and coding including genetic

Lunar Venatorii and Tarakonian Knights are pioneer west America and Southern Confederate influence with punk independence hammered with Imperial zeal.

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Also a not those three, the leader and another incomplete idea of a Nurgle Pirate Admiral with a Gesalt Consciousness as the five pillars of the warband. A sort of Mailed Left Hand. Four represent each of the major gods and the leader is truly undivided.

 

Ciara Ghlic - Mistress Shackle - Undivided and true leader

Zeetch Mjornian Entity of Electromagnetism

Tethered Brother - Slannesh Bloodmoon Hunter Biomechanical Horror

Khorne Tarakonian Lunar Venatorii Cavalry Creature

Nurgle Pirate Admiral Gesalt Fleet

 

Other members who are fairly high ranking but where I don’t know.

War-Heretek Ollkyrax the Battlesmith - Khorne leaning

Former Adept Scairp Bróicéir - Undivided

 

 

 

Now just for comparison a bit Tarakonian Names so far:

Adahm Klerixus - Inquisitor former Lunar Venatorii

Raphael Tuisle

Moar de Fásach

Sámhach de Fásach

Dóiteáin de FaStoirm

Ionsaí de Fásachian

Onóir Fuadach de Sealgair

Errmanno Raven de Sealgair

Theophania Nightingale

Groghe Bancroft

Eashan Houser de Sealgair

Derek Strugger

Jacob Holiday

Jensen

Alexander Jones

Gustav Stálhandske

Hogen

Frederick Jenkins

Edwards

McKee

Talia

Garvey

Jaekzon

 

Mjornian Names:

Alaox - Skitarii

Donover Thet

Raymond Raven - Born Tarakonian but became Mjornian

Cyon-Xi Zeth

Celes 'Celestia' Ferronica van Alderson

Gillerhys

Telherian

Lukas Brecher

Simon Yaraka

Serna-Etna 17

 

 

Bloodmoon Hunters:

Dorcha Teicneo

Ian Creiche

Scáth Hiachóir

Shasmu Khonsu

Folsom

Marfóir Lugh

Garrus Raknor

Jensen

Erxandros

Glaz MacTíre

Alderson

Fiach Cinnead

Sciath Cinniúint

Folach Óg

Síceach Sreab

Jared Leictreach

Trodaire Gearr

Yarro Dargui

Edited by TechCaptain
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So this is my basic breakdown of influences:

Whole Subsector has Celtic influence specifically Gaelic or bastardized Gaelic naming

Bloodmoon Hunters - Hunting cultures, animals, barbaric tendencies mixed with high tech

Mjorn is just a mix of Admech with the Celtic flavor emphasis on electronic warfare and coding including genetic

Lunar Venatorii and Tarakonian Knights are pioneer west America and Southern Confederate influence with punk independence hammered with Imperial zeal.

Got it, Tarakonian Knights..... I was born and raised in the South, moved to and live in the West... and I played in a punk band in high school:woot: I luv 'em already:woot: :woot:

 

Now just for comparison a bit Tarakonian Names so far:

Adahm Klerixus - Inquisitor former Lunar Venatorii

Raphael Tuisle

Moar de Fásach

Sámhach de Fásach

Dóiteáin de FaStoirm

Ionsaí de Fásachian

Onóir Fuadach de Sealgair

Errmanno Raven de Sealgair

If we are talking about Southern Confederate influence with the Tarakonian names, I'm seeing some Louisiana Cajun and Creole here.

 

Does that help? This is the first time I put so many names together in a list.

Yes, very much so. Your names so far look spot on for what you are going for:thumbsup:

Edited by Brother Lunkhead
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