The Castigators

[Marshal Rohr]

As promised here they are. To do are the Sternguard (not enough box clips) and Sirius, as well as basing all the models, unfortunately I am out of glue...

1st Squad, the 'Torchbearers'

1st Sqaud is led by Veteran Sergeant Meridius, a former Veteran Sergeant in the 10th Company, has led his squad to much honor and glory in his relativly short time with the 'Lightbringers'. The greatest achievement to date of the 'Torchbearers' was won in a battle against foul Chaos renegades. The 'Torchbearers' held the line against an overwhelming Ork assault while Captain Sirius was able to evacuate the last of the populace of Calis V, a mining outpost on the borders of the Howling Stars.

2nd Squad, the 'Sentinels'

2nd Squad is led by Veteran Sergeant Deiad, the heart and soul of the 'Lightbringers'. Known for his humor and wit, Deiad is something of an oddity in the Castigators. His idiosyncrasies may bring outsiders to doubt his abilities, but the 'Lightbringers' know that if Captain Sirius need a job done correctly, the honor will fall upon the second squad.

3rd Squad, the 'Illuminators'

The 'Illuminators' are have won the most combat honors of any other squad in the Third Company, due to the leadership of VEteran sergeant Solemnas. Solemnas is a fighter without peer, the greatest swordsmen in the entirety of the third. Captain Sirius has forwarded his name to Master Quintilius for possible candidacy for Company Captain or one of the Chapter's Honor Guard.

7th Squad, the 'Eagle's Claws'

The 'Eagle's Claws' are the sword of the 'Lightbringers'. Captain Sirius uses the 7th Squad as a quick reaction force, able to respond to quickly changing battlefield conditions. Veteran Sergeant Asprenus takes great pride in his position of honor in the company, this is passed on to his squad members who too share the pride of being Captain Sirius ace in the hole. Torquatus of the 8th considers himself worthy of the honors bestowed on Veteran Sergeant Asprenus and this has led to a rivalry between the 7th and 8th squads.

9th Squad, the 'Hammers of Dawn'

The 'Hammers of Dawn' are commanded by the silent Veteran Sergeant Asturias. Asturias goes about his work with grim efficiency, taking little pleasure in slaying the enemy, his only reward is serving the Chapter. This attitude has chafed some of the brothers under his command, but more than one of the 'Hammers of Dawn' owe their lives to Asturias and his dogged resilience.

Dreadnaught 'Godslayer'

Terminator Squad Turias

Rhino's 'Wrath', 'Loyalty', and 'Honor'

Edited May 11, 2009 by Marshal2 Crusaders

[Commissar Molotov]

Neat! Looking forward to seeing these finished. ;) Be sure to keep us updated!

[Tyrannicide]

I really like your conversion of Sergeant Solemnas, he looks cool. It's great to see these characters come to life and while I picture many of the third differently then you, it's great to see these guys on the tabletop! ;)

[Argon]

Nice job on the minis Marshal. I like what you've done with the AoBR marines. Godkiller looks like someone I'd hate to mess with.

 

Also, quick question: Would any of the Castigators have any buisiness around the Maelstrom? I'd kinda like to include them in my DIY Renegades' fluff.

Edited July 14, 2009 by Argon

[Commissar Molotov]

Hey.

 

Today marks five years to the day that the Castigators first graced the halls of the Liber Astartes. I don't recognise a lot of the names in the Liber these days - and so I imagine that few will remember, and a great many of you won't have any idea who the Castigators are! With the pervasive warp-storms around the Howling Stars clearing for a while, I thought it time to try to revamp the Castigators' article. In certain ways, it's a little lacking, so I wanted to tackle one of the areas that's always been my biggest bugbear - the Homeworld section.

 

Here's the "original version" - the version that you'd see in the Librarium:

 

Homeworld

U

pon the tenth anniversary of the Chapter's founding, the Castigators found the small world of Losanco Secundus. The planet was a celestial anomaly; one of only a handful in the Imperium known to have a 'tidally locked' orbit. The time the planet took to rotate on its axis and the time it took to orbit the system's star were exactly the same. This odd circumstance meant that one half of the planet was shrouded in perpetual darkness whilst the other basked in permanent light and debilitating radiation. The planet should never have sustained life. And yet it did.

 

It appeared that millennia ago, an Imperial vessel had crashed onto Losanco. The descendents of those few survivors clung to the barely habitable dark-side, surviving on the last remnants of the failing technology, subjected to the intense cold. Many of the planet's highest peaks were swathed in ice. Life was an unending struggle against the elements for survival, a struggle that ensured only the strongest could survive. Food was scarce, grown by dim moonlight in areas where streams of warm air reached the dark-side.

 

By contrast, those few cursed individuals that existed in the eternal day were mutated almost beyond recognition. Losancan legends suggested to the dark-siders that one day the Emperor would appear, bringing light and tranquillity to its troubled people and transforming the planet into a verdant paradise. The legends continued to state that He would only appear when the planet was 'deserving' - when it was freed from the blight of mutants and witches.

 

The dark-siders had grown to blame the mutants for their predicament, learning to fear and hate the mutants with what had become an almost instinctual loathing for imperfection and disease. Babies showing even the most minor of malformations were hurriedly and quietly killed by their own mothers or families, such was the stigma of giving birth to a mutant offspring. This hatred of mutation extended beyond the physical form - those children that displayed burgeoning psychic abilities were killed in public ceremonies of devotion to the Emperor. Small bands of brave and pious individuals would often lead expeditions to the bright-side to try to eradicate the mutants' blasphemous scourge from the planet's surface. Although these primitive individuals had no concept of radiation, they knew that should they spend too long on the bright side, they would weaken and die. Only the hardiest (some would say most fool-hardy) undertook such missions.

 

This dichotomy between light and dark struck a chord in Baraquiel's soul. Their eternal fight against corruption convinced him that they could serve as a potential source of future Castigators. He ordered a series of rigorous tests to confirm their genetic purity and then began the construction of a base upon the planet's moon.

 

The Losancans saw the Castigators' actions and came to see them as terrible angels, ferocious emissaries of a God-Emperor that watches over ceaselessly to ensure they carry out their divine task - the purification of their homeworld. The Castigators are fully aware of the native legends, and have even fostered them simply because they help promote hatred of the mutants. Those children amongst the bands that travel to the light-side to fight the mutants are secretly observed by the Castigators' Chaplains. If one is found worthy, the Chaplain will approach the warband and take the child to become one of His angels.

 

The Fortress-Monastery of the Castigators, known as the Sanctuary, is buried deep within the moon of Losanco Secundus. It is here that all the records of the Castigators' actions are kept, where the trophies won by the chapter are stored, and where the marines of the chapter train. A large part of the fortress-monastery is given over to places of worship; indeed, each company maintains an extensive chapel. These massive structures provide both a place of worship and a record of war. Campaign banners and company standards drape the walls; the armour and accoutrements of long-dead heroes remain displayed to inspire the living. Many of the chapels hold the spoils of war. It is here that every marine whose body has been recovered has been laid to rest. These sacred crypts are also where the Dreadnoughts of the chapter are allowed to rest; remaining alongside their dead comrades until the chapter calls them into service.

 

Here's the draft that I've been fiddling with for the past few days:

 

Homeworld

A

t the height of their xenocidal campaigns against the alien Ryssith, the Castigators' fleet entered a tumultuous and unstable region known as the 'Howling Stars'. The Stars were an area of perennial eddies and whirls in the Immaterium. Accurately forecasting these currents was a task only the most skilled of Navigators could undertake. In places, the skin of reality had been stretched to breaking point by these unnatural forces; roiling warp storms had burst forth to destroy vessels whole and hamper travel still further. It was here that they found the small and unassuming world labelled on the fleet's star-charts as Losanco Secundus.

 

The planet was perhaps most notable for its 'tidally locked' orbit, which meant the time it took to rotate on its axis and the time it took to orbit its star were exactly the same. This peculiarity resulted in one half of the planet being shrouded in perpetual darkness whilst the other basked in permanent light and debilitating radiation. It should never have sustained life - and yet it did. The Castigators had been drawn to the world by a flickering distress signal, picked up by chance by the fleet's augurs. It appeared that millennia ago, an Imperial vessel had crashed onto Losanco's surface. The descendents of the survivors clung to a thin strip of land between the light and dark sides, an area of perpetual twilight known as the Terminator. Though arid and inhospitable, it was the only area on the planet where life could survive.

 

The plight of the Losancans was dramatic and precarious; they were caught between light and dark, between mutation and freezing doom. Settlements had been scattered across the terminator, fortified towns built mainly from scrap metal recovered from the ruined hulk of their vessel. These established enclaves of human existence were defended by armed militias and sustained by the slowly degrading technologies.

 

The wastelands were also inhabited by bands of scavengers and reavers. Many were mutated as a result of the radiation - some almost beyond recognition. Highly aggressive, Losancan legends suggested to the inhabitants that one day the Emperor would appear, bringing light and tranquillity to its troubled people and transforming the planet into a verdant paradise. The legends continued that He would only appear when the planet was 'deserving' - which was taken to mean when it was freed from the blight of the 'impure'.

 

The dark-siders had grown to blame the mutants for their predicament, learning to fear and hate the mutants with what had become an almost instinctual loathing for imperfection and disease. Babies showing even the most minor of malformations were hurriedly and quietly killed by their own mothers or families, such was the stigma of giving birth to a mutant offspring. This hatred of mutation extended beyond the physical form - those children that displayed burgeoning psychic abilities were killed in public ceremonies of devotion to the Emperor.

 

Whilst the militias tend to the settlements, keeping them safe against the depredation of the mutant scavengers, a somewhat rarer breed of brave and pious warriors take it upon themselves to eradicate the mutants' blasphemous scourge from the planet's surface. A loose brotherhood, these roving bands of Mutant Hunters are not tied to any particular settlement. Instead they roam the wastelands, stopping at towns to resupply, to pray at the Emperor's shrine and to barter for goods. Sand-scarred, hard bitten, the Hunters evoke fear and respect in equal measure. Hardened by their lives, they command their parties with a steady hand and a commanding voice that rises above the harsh winds of the endless desert. As they rest, they will be joined by new recruits, hungry for vengeance and retribution. Some will be survivors of mutant raids or of destroyed settlements. Some may have simply had a religious awakening, a sense that something must be done. Young an impressionable children revere these rugged warriors for the terrible sacrifices they have made in giving up their lives and venturing into the deserts.

 

Losanco's potent symbolism struck a chord in Baraquiel's soul. The dichotomy between light and dark and the survivors' struggle against corruption convinced him that they could serve as a potential source of future Castigators. He ordered a series of rigorous tests to confirm their genetic purity. Once he received the results, the Chapter began construction of a Fortress-Monastery buried deep within the moon of Losanco Secundus. Through their interactions with the local populace, the Losancans came to see them as grim emissaries of a God-Emperor that had turned His face away from an impure galaxy, leaving His finest warriors to oversee His domains. The Castigators are fully aware of the native legends and have even fostered them to promote hatred of the mutant.

 

As the hunters go about their work, they are observed by the Chaplains of the Castigators. These ebon-armoured giants will on occasion approach the parties. Any youths travelling with the Hunting Parties will be carefully appraised for their suitability to join the Astartes. The Chaplains will provide the party with weaponry and basic equipment that can be traded or used to make their lives that bit easier. In return, those children that meet the Chaplains' stringent standards will be taken. These new recruits are then begin the next phase of their lives. The Castigators' Fortress-Moon, known as Sanctuary, hangs heavy in the sky. Its pitted surface is studded with arched gunports, the squat shapes of lance-batteries and other defences. It holds the legacy of the Chapter's millennia-long history. It is here where the records of the Chapters' actions are kept, where the trophies won by the Chapter are stored, and where its Marines train.

 

A large part of the fortress is given over to places of worship; indeed, each Company maintains its own extensive Chaptel. These massive structures provide both a place of worship and a record of war. Campaign banners and Company standards drape the walls; the armour and accoutrements of long-dead heroes remain displayed so as to inspire the living. Many of the chapels hold the spoils of war. Every marine whose body has been recovered is laid to rest within the Chapels' crypts. These sacred tombs are also where the Dreadnoughts of the Chapter are allowed to rest; remaining alongside their dead comrades until the chapter calls them into service.

 

This goes some way towards expressing some of the ideas I'd originally had for the Castigators, and for some of the themes that I wanted to convey. The homeworld has been altered to be somewhat more plausible, with people living on the tenuous boundary between light and dark, rather than huddling in the frozen wastes of the dark side. I've tried to turn up the "post-apocalyptic" aspect of the Losancan world; "Techno-barbarian" might be a fitting term, Somewhat like the Imperium in microcosm, you have a superstitious people clinging to the decaying legacy of their forebears, trying to endure in an inhospitable and dangerous environment against those determined to tear them down.

 

I hope you find this interesting - you can read the 'homeworld' section as part of the article on the first page. And if you're coming to this Chapter for the first time, I hope you find it an interesting read! :huh:

 

 

- Mol.

[Heru]

Just after Sigismund Himself brings up your name in another topic, you reappear from the depths of the Warp. :huh: Edited July 21, 2010 by Heru Talon

[Shinzaren]

Brings up your name in reference to fear, no less. You reappearance is.... terrifying....

[Donkey Kong]

You're too modest for your own good, Mol! I think the Castigators have the best IA in the Liber, they're my personal favorite at least ^_^ .

 

The planet was perhaps most notable for its 'tidally locked' orbit, which meant the time it took to rotate on its axis and the time it took to orbit its star were exactly the same. This peculiarity resulted in one half of the planet being shrouded in perpetual darkness whilst the other basked in permanent light and debilitating radiation.

 

This section of the paragraph seems a little too much like an "Astronomy For Dummies" lesson. If I were to change it:

 

The planet was peculiar, caught in a tidally locked orbit, with half of the planet being shrouded in perpetual darkness whilst the other basked in permanent light and debilitating radiation.

 

an area of perpetual twilight known as the Terminator.

 

The name for the land seems to be somewhat ironic. The only somewhat hospitable territory on the world is called the Terminator :huh: ?

 

scrap metal recovered from the ruined hulk of their vessel.

 

I'd change hulk to hull. It makes more sense given the context.

 

those children that displayed burgeoning psychic abilities were killed in public ceremonies of devotion to the Emperor.

 

I'd criticize word choice here. If it's a ceremony, it should be an execution, not just any random killing.

 

they command their parties with a steady hand and a commanding voice

 

command repetition. I'd change the first command to lead.

 

Given the radiation that the bands would suffer when lingering in the light side of the world, wouldn't it be better to clarify that even the hunters make quick raids so as to avoid being caught out in the sun for too long? Unless, of course, you're changing that.

 

The Chaplains will provide the party with weaponry and basic equipment that can be traded or used to make their lives that bit easier. In return, those children that meet the Chaplains' stringent standards will be taken. These new recruits are then begin the next phase of their lives.

 

"The party" is another repetition, I would replace "the party" with "them", since it's made clear who they are in the previous sentence.

"Are then begin" seems to be a little broken, I'd just adjust the last sentence a little, perhaps integrating it into the former:

 

The Chaplains provide them with weaponry and basic equipment that can be bartered or used to make their lives that bit easier. In return, those children that meet the Chaplains' stringent standards will be taken to begin the next phase of their lives.

 

If I were to add anything it would be the idea of local shamans and traveling priests that raise the distant towns into small raids on the mutants. Maybe having some of these travelers actually be some of the Castigator neophytes who learn by iterating to the people and maybe even fighting alongside them.

 

I would also raise the question as to how the mutants organize themselves, perhaps living in fear of the raiders that come from the dark horizon. The Castigators could listen to these when first looking at the world, perhaps assuming that life would be in the sun where it thrives everywhere else. It would be kind of funny to see the Castigators investigate there, only to fight and have their investigation driven into the darkness where they find their recruitment pool.

 

It should also be clarified that the Castigators only let the mutants live so that the local legends can go on, simply to make it clear that they have thought this through and through, and aren't making an exception to their hate.

 

I know it's kind of random but I imagine the Losancan mutants to be like Migsula's Twists: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts...390/233990.page (Finished pictures on that page 14 and progress starting on page 4).

Edited July 21, 2010 by KingHongKong

[Brother Argent]

By the Emperor, he's returned... The end times have truly come...

 

Uh, good to see you back Mol. You probably don't remember me but you have been basically one of the main inspirations for me around here. Your Castigators are probably one of the best articles in the Libarium. But I doubt your back to get smothered in praise so I'll have a look at your changes soon and see what I can come up with.

[RagingGriffon]

These new recruits are then begin the next phase of their lives

 

small typo.

 

Great stuff. Good to see you back! It is truly the end of times <_<

[Heru]

Brings up your name in reference to fear, no less. You reappearance is.... terrifying....

Yeah I don't see what is so scary about ol' Molly... a bit annoying at times, but scary? <_<

[Grey Hunter Ydalir]

Well KHK got here first and I'll be damned if he hasn't gone and made me feel redundant. :D

 

Also I'm more than a little surprised to see Mol grace these halls again, here I was thinking you were gone for good.

 

A large part of the fortress is given over to places of worship; indeed, each Company maintains its own extensive Chaptel.

 

Shouldn't that be Chapel? I love typos. ;)

 

These massive structures provide both a place of worship and a record of war. Campaign banners and Company standards drape the walls; the armour and accoutrements of long-dead heroes remain displayed so as to inspire the living.

 

I'm probably picking on something that isn't too important here but don't the Castigators pass down equipment through the generations of the chapter to equally worthy individuals? Most chapters, as far as I know re-use all of their equipment unless it is totally unrecoverable.

 

You'd probably touch on this aspect in other areas but I was just curious as to whether they simply use the artifacts as they are needed and then hang them back up, simply because the need would be constant given the life of the Space Marine in general.

 

their xenocidal campaigns against the alien Ryssith

 

I may be one of the few remaining people in the Liber who know who the Ryssith are, but are you going to elaborate on the one-word reference in the IA already? Even if a simple expansion of just what the Ryssith are might be nice as they were a very cool creation in the first place. Perhaps I'm being blind but I can't see any other mention of them in the IA even though they committed to a campaign against them enough to warrant it being xenocidal, which just about the entire Imperium is already when considering xenos.

 

Simply put, it seems like a jump from one unconnected piece to another from the Origins - which mention nothing of these campaigns - to the Homeworld section which seems like it's rounding out an earlier mention of them.

 

 

I must ask; is this simply a reworking of a single section or the entire IA itself?

[Marshal Rohr]

The dark-siders had grown to blame the mutants for their predicament, learning to fear and hate the mutants with what had become an almost instinctual loathing for imperfection and disease. Babies showing even the most minor of malformations were hurriedly and quietly killed by their own mothers or families, such was the stigma of giving birth to a mutant offspring. This hatred of mutation extended beyond the physical form - those children that displayed burgeoning psychic abilities were killed in public ceremonies of devotion to the Emperor.

 

Did you mean to leave dark-siders the same? It was the same in both drafts, though I have no clue what you would call someone who lives in the Terminator.

 

Whilst the militias tend to the settlements, keeping them safe against the depredation of the mutant scavengers, a somewhat rarer breed of brave and pious warriors take it upon themselves to eradicate the mutants' blasphemous scourge from the planet's surface. A loose brotherhood, these roving bands of Mutant Hunters are not tied to any particular settlement. Instead they roam the wastelands, stopping at towns to resupply, to pray at the Emperor's shrine and to barter for goods. Sand-scarred, hard bitten, the Hunters evoke fear and respect in equal measure. Hardened by their lives, they command their parties with a steady hand and a commanding voice that rises above the harsh winds of the endless desert. As they rest, they will be joined by new recruits, hungry for vengeance and retribution. Some will be survivors of mutant raids or of destroyed settlements. Some may have simply had a religious awakening, a sense that something must be done. Young an impressionable children revere these rugged warriors for the terrible sacrifices they have made in giving up their lives and venturing into the deserts.

 

No complaints here, this is just great. I have read it several ties now and it leaves me awestruck everytime. I can picture in my head a group of the hardest men to ever walk the earth walking into a saloon covered in sand, weapons at the low ready. Just awesome, man.

 

A large part of the fortress is given over to places of worship; indeed, each Company maintains its own extensive Chaptel. These massive structures provide both a place of worship and a record of war. Campaign banners and Company standards drape the walls; the armour and accoutrements of long-dead heroes remain displayed so as to inspire the living. Many of the chapels hold the spoils of war. Every marine whose body has been recovered is laid to rest within the Chapels' crypts. These sacred tombs are also where the Dreadnoughts of the Chapter are allowed to rest; remaining alongside their dead comrades until the chapter calls them into service

 

 

Overall the revisions are great, I like the newer direction. The living in the twilight seems more logical to me, something like living in Alaska when its daylight for months at a time.

 

Your descriptions are great, and you can really 'see' the natives, not just comprehend how they look.

 

My one thing is, though it reads well, and much better than most to come through, it doesn't read as smoothly as the rest of your IA. I know this is just because of its draft stage though and no fault of your writing ability, so I am looking forward to your final version.

 

Gah! I hate that my models are back on the mainland!

[Nash Trickster]

The name for the land seems to be somewhat ironic. The only somewhat hospitable territory on the world is called the Terminator :) ?

Erm... I find it a bit ironic that the same person who advocates for a less "Astronomy for Dummies"-like version of the part about the tidally-locked nature of the planet is also the same who apparently doesn't know that astronomers name the limit between night and day the terminator... :P

 

Though I agree that some people will be surprised by the use of the word "terminator" in that context, the other commonly used name for the area "the twilight zone" isn't better IMO :)

 

=====

 

Glad to see you back at this Mol! I agree that you are quite too modest. The Castigators were what inspired me into writing fully fledged IAs instead of the "few general ideas thrown on a post-it" that served as my Chapters' fluff before ;)

(And to be 100% honest, I take pride in knowing that some of the stuff that make the Castigators nowadays --particularly the name "Howling Stars"-- came from my humble suggestions... Makes me feel like I'm part of "something bigger".)

Edited July 24, 2010 by Nash Trickster

[Commissar Molotov]

Thank you to everybody who took the time to comment. The draft in my last post had been put together relatively quickly, hence the ridiculous typographical errors - the bane of my life. But then again, I've read the IA so many times that I'm becoming blind to little things like that, and the eyes of other people are particularly useful.

 

@KingHongKong:

 

Whilst I appreciate that it can seem a little like 'Astronomy for Dummies', I think it's important to explain the fundamentals of what a planet being tidally locked means. There is a dilemma here, because I don't want to underestimate the reader, but it's important to convey the information needed to understand the situation Losanco finds itself in. I'm not sure if I'll ever resolve it to everyone's satisfaction.

 

I'll take on board your opinion regarding the execution of psykers - the word 'killed' will be changed. Likewise, repeating 'command' was simply the result of stitching together various drafts.

 

Given the radiation that the bands would suffer when lingering in the light side of the world, wouldn't it be better to clarify that even the hunters make quick raids so as to avoid being caught out in the sun for too long? Unless, of course, you're changing that.

 

It's worth being clear here that the homeworld has changed somewhat. Originally, the Losancan population lived in the dark side, whilst hunting in the light to eradicate the mutants. I thought it nicely subverted our usual preconceptions, but was troubled by various problems. For one, it was difficult to explain how the Losancans hadn't been reduced to nocturnal mole-men, and it was difficult to explain how they survived. The concept has evolved to have them living within the terminator (or "the twilight zone"), caught between the light and the darkness, with neither being particularly palatable. Thematically it links to the precarious position man finds itself within the larger galaxy, but it also makes their lives that bit more precarious (and hopefully that little bit more interesting). The shift towards the various human settlements gave the whole thing a somewhat more post-apocalyptic air which I found quite interesting. It would be easy to keep detailing the planet until this topic became "IA: Losanco Secundus", but I'm trying to provide enough interesting information whilst still making it relevant to the Castigators - making it clear that the Chapter as it exists in the 41st millennium is a direct consequence of the homeworld.

 

The Chaplains provide them with weaponry and basic equipment that can be bartered or used to make their lives that bit easier. In return, those children that meet the Chaplains' stringent standards will be taken to begin the next phase of their lives.

 

The tricky bit here is "their lives" - I'll take it under advisement and tweak that section so that it hopefully flows somewhat better.

 

I did like your suggestions regarding the Castigators having thought through the existence of mutants on their homeworld. I suppose you could make the argument that it's down to the Losancans themselves to purge their home so that the Emperor might be pleased with the planet once again. One element I added in to this last draft was the idea that the Emperor has turned His face away from an impure galaxy, leaving behind His greatest warriors to defend the Imperium. Obviously a corruption of the Heresy and his ascension to the Golden Throne, it has interesting implications. The Losancans must be pure of heart and must wage war upon the impurity within their midst, just as the Castigators often find themselves fighting against "the enemy within" - the heresy that festers at the heart of the Imperium.

 

@Grey Hunter Ydalir:

 

Corrected "Chaptel". The wider point you make regarding the armour and equipment of dead heroes is an interesting one. Whilst the majority of equipment certainly would be used again and again, I don't believe that everything necessarily would. To me, it's an integral part of the mythos that the armour a Space Marine uses is thousands of years old, that each warrior enters battle wearing holy relics and sacred artefacts. That's very "grimdark" to me. But still, I think in certain cases these artefacts would not immediately be handed on, but might be reserved for other Marines to demonstrate worth - or might be retained as holy relics. Bear in mind that the article gives the briefest of summaries of the chapels that each Company maintains. As such, the narration may be dwelling upon particularly rare examples and making them seem commonplace.

 

It's nice to hear that you remember the Ryssith! I'm rather fond of them. And whilst the Castigators managed to wipe out the nestworlds within the Howling Stars, I think there's still quite a few out there somewhere. It was simply intended to refer back to one of my earlier creations whilst making the Castigators appear part of a wider universe. The Ryssith don't need to be expanded here, I think - it would probably be close to the treatment of the Scythians within the Crimson Fists' IA Article. It was also a deliberate ploy to avoid having to mention how long elapsed between the Chapters' creation and their discovery of Losanco Secundus. It's been written elsewhere that Baraquiel was dying as he watched the last Ryssith nestworld burn from orbit, so their war against the reptilian xenos had to have continued afterwards.

 

To touch on your final point - I'm slowly overhauling the whole IA to try to improve it. I'll gladly address any issues as you see them.

 

@Marshal2 Crusaders:

 

Good spot on "dark-siders", and a legacy of trying to reconcile various drafts. I'll change it to "survivors" for the time being.

 

Any thoughts on making this section read "smoothly" are more than welcomed. It's a little jolty because I'm having to describe the homeworld, Baraquiel ordering the construction of Sanctuary, then the recruitment process, and then finally detailing Sanctuary. Your thoughts on improving it would be appreciated!

 

@Nash Trickster:

 

It's nice to hear from you once more! The Castigators would not be what they are now without your comments!

 

 

 

Having read these comments I've addressed the typographical errors as they stand now, and I'm looking forward to any further feedback - thanks in advance!

Edited July 24, 2010 by Commissar Molotov

[voi shet magir]

A loose brotherhood, these roving bands of Mutant Hunters are not tied to any particular settlement. Instead they roam the wastelands, stopping at towns to resupply, to pray at the Emperor's shrine and to barter for goods. Sand-scarred, hard bitten, the Hunters evoke fear and respect in equal measure. Hardened by their lives, they command their parties with a steady hand and a commanding voice that rises above the harsh winds of the endless desert.

 

 

Money crosses the room, and stares into the fireplace. Reflected fire dances in his pupils, and an expression of the deepest longing crosses his face.

 

He brushes his long black hair out of his face (his bangs are always getting in the way XD) so that his red eyes can better gaze into the inferno. It isn't easy being a half-demon, he thought. Ever since his father was hunted and killed by the stupid nobles (there are good demons too! ;)) his mom got scared and said he was moving in with his aunt and uncle in Bel Air (which his in Tokyo Japan :3).

 

A single tear fell from his the crimson orbs.

 

I have trouble telling the above quotes apart, together they are like a find-six-differences puzzle in a childrens' magazine. Neither of them even attempt to make a case for their importance. IAs are not narratives, generalities are ok. What I do value in, you know: text, is some kind of content. I do not mind reading generalities about a specific entity, like that The Castigators have some kind of infinitive practice, or that some anonymous group of settlers performed some specific action at a given time.

 

This is the opposite of when guys in PCA post their work from three years ago and everyone is shocked by the intervening improvement in quality. Do you get that when it comes to Bulwer-Lytton levels, you actually can spell "infamy" without "fame?" I think that instead of editing the old one, you could rewrite it entirely, using the same material, but never even referring to the original.

[Fox Of 9]

Damn it Mol Your writing is as brilliant as your painting.

 

I hope when i actually get round to my IA its half as good as this :D

[Commissar Molotov]

I think my painting is as bad as your reading. :P

 

This thread hasn't been replied to for just under a year! I was surprised to get the email notification that somebody had replied to it.

 

I do have loose plans to revisit the Castigators again - they are showing their age - but nothing concrete at the moment. So, in the future I will be updating the IA article (and I've been asked to write an IA article for a friends' Chapter) but for now, leave these scarlet-clad zealots to rest. :D

[Epistolary Exander]

I think my painting is as bad as your reading. ;)

 

This thread hasn't been replied to for just under a year! I was surprised to get the email notification that somebody had replied to it.

 

I do have loose plans to revisit the Castigators again - they are showing their age - but nothing concrete at the moment. So, in the future I will be updating the IA article (and I've been asked to write an IA article for a friends' Chapter) but for now, leave these scarlet-clad zealots to rest. :lol:

 

I wouldnt put your work down, it will always be better than anything I could produce :).

[Captain Sandoval]

Congratulations Mol, you've got a new convert to your Chapter! I love how you splashed Rogal Dorn goodness all over an Ultramarines successor... guess you could say the Castigators are to the Ultramarines as the Black Templars are to the Imperial Fists, and it's completely believable given the wild divergence of the Mortifactors. =P

 

Although I will not be using the light blue eyes/white chapter symbol, I prefer green and black. (Sons of Korhal and all!) :P

 

 

Edit: I whipped this up and humbly submit it to the Castigators chapter librarium. ;)

 

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/2838/castigatormarine.png

Edited August 11, 2011 by Marshal Helstrom

[Commissar Molotov]

Today marks nine years since I first posted this thread. I've been away from 40k proper for a while, focussing instead on the Inq28 scene. Some of you may have seen today that I posted the start of The Battle for Swordpoint, and attempt to bring the Castigators up to date with the newest fluff for the Astartes and the 40k universe in general. I intend to do up the IA article, and perhaps to gather up more of their fluff and artwork into some kind of compendium.

 

I hope you guys will join me in blowing the dust of this venerable Chapter as they attempt to return to the light of day!

 

-Mol.

[Olis]

Welcome back to the Liber, Commissar! Such a venerable thread (well venerable in terms of the internet, at least) deserves some overdue attention - can it be nearly three years since the last post was made? A lot has changed on B&C since then - a new skin, a new version of forum software, reorganisation after reorganisation (yes, we did indeed leave the basement for a while but the liber is back there again :rolleyes: ), voi shet magir was banned (actually, that's something I've only just noticed), Brother Argos is stepping down after all these years and, of course, there are new Liber Mods!

 

Don't worry, we know what we are doing. Just ignore the burn marks on the walls. Myself, Messor and Aquilanus will be here if you need anything. ;)

[Commissar Molotov]

Thank you for the warm welcome. Indeed, I'm still trying to work around the new B+C software. I copied the whole of this thread into a word document and it topped out at about 900 pages - so plenty to go through and organise!

 

My first priority is to go through the IA article. Looking back, there's quite a bit in terms of the writing style I would like to change. If anyone would care to look back at the first post and give me their verdict, I would appreciate it. I'm not talking in terms of minute spelling and grammatical errors, but more about the 'feel' of the piece - whether readers feel that enough information is conveyed, or whether more needs to be added.

 

I hope to have a new draft in the next few days!

 

- Mol.

[Commissar Molotov]

Alright,

 

So - I have been away for a few weeks, finishing up the term and pondering where to go with the Castigators. I want some way to consolidate all the ideas I have had for the Castigators over the last nine years, and to really have a project to be proud of. In discussion with Darth Potato and Marshal2Crusaders - two of my closest allies in these endeavours - I've kept coming back to the concept of creating something along the lines of an Imperial Armour book detailing the Castigators.

 

The Index Astartes format is a noble and worthy one, but I want to move beyond that and really get to grips with what makes the Castigators tick.

 

This was the initial concept I had:

 

 

 

Introduction

 

The Founding

-          Dark “13^th” Founding

-          14^th Founding

-          Vocates

The First Castigator

·         Baraquiel, Black Consuls

·         First Crusade

·         Discovery of Losanco

·         Death against the Ryssith >>RYSSITH SIDEBAR<<

·         14-year Mourning Crusade

>>>> Map of Howling Stars / Dalthus <<<<

                                                >>DALTHUS SIDEBAR<<

A World of Darkness and Light

-          Losanco Secundus

-          The Citadel

Clad in Honour: Heraldry and Livery of the Castigators

·         Colours

·         Power Armour

·         Equipment

·         Honour Badges

Chapter Organisation

-          Table of the Chapter:

-          LIBRARIUM

-          CHAPLAINCY

-          FORGE

-          Chapter Banners

-          Captains and Duties

-          COMPANY I

-          COMPANY II

-          COMPANY III

-          COMPANY IV

-          COMPANY V

-          COMPANY VI

-          COMPANY VII

-          COMPANY VIII

-          COMPANY IX

-          COMPANY X

 

The Castigators at War: Combat Doctrine

-          Explanation of how Castigators fight

-          Exploration of Castigators at battle – show II + V, Battle for Maethax

 

A Legacy of Honour: Battles of the Castigators

Timeline

-          The Truth War

-          Battle for Maethax

-          Swordpoint Crusades

 

Any feedback would certainly be appreciated - I am keen to work on this alongside my other projects so that I have something ready for next year's anniversary.

 

Hope you're all well,

 

- Mol.

[Olis]

Apologies for not getting back to this regarding your previous post, brother. I had intended to but it slipped away from me as I had to focus on other things.

 

Anyway, this Imperial Armour style article idea sounds great - it would be something different, at the least.