Dosjetka Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Hm...Bright Star? Don't really like the name...but otherwise it's good, though not my favourite chapter...and it lacks the suspense that there would be in that kind of situation...not enough detail...IMO. Anyway, I'll stop blabbering away :mellow: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2328936 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 Im crap with Tau names, theres Shadowsun so i thought bright star could be male version. Fail :D Not enough suspense? Damn its only a teaser, the rest i think will have suspense. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2329056 Share on other sites More sharing options...
atin Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 nice. the tau part really ads tension :rolleyes: and love the part about russ and Angron’s, both are hard/hot headed and this is one way i could see them come to terms with each other.. keep it going Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2329115 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 Thank you Atin. I wanted to get it across how hard Angron and Russ are, both are equals in my opinion and i didnt want one clearly being the victor. Here is the latest installment. Two figures walked down the dark street. Buildings rose up either side giving the two Tau Fire Warriors the feeling that they were closed or being watched. They gripped their Pulse Carbines tightly, and taking solace in the works of their races greatest engineers. Both wore a suit of black carapace armour with a single red stripe running down their arms and legs; the colour of their Sep’t world K’aun. “Such ugly and pointless architecture. You would have thought that this Empire would have learnt to desgin more aesthetically pleasing building by now” commented the Fire Warrior on the left. “I do not wish to understand this barbaric race. They fight each other as much as others; they remind me of Ork bar the physical features. Why do we let them join the Greater good?” asked the other Fire Warrior, seemingly bitter towards humans. “To enlighten them, in Unity we can conquer the galaxy. These are the teachings of Aun’Va” his comrade explained. “Why do we not kill them instead?” he asked. “Then we become just like them” he warned, his eyes furrowing to study his fellow fire Warrior. The pair continued to walk down the alleyway continually checking their surroundings for any signs of the enemy; they had been warned that they were being stalked and yet there had been no sightings. Hundreds of Tau had been brutally killed, a dozen or so tanks had been wrecked and supply depots had been destroyed. Many of the Tau commanders kept their forces at bay in their bases, reluctant to venture forth into the Hive cities and outlaying towns. However Commander Te’Vash had declared he would not let some guerrilla fighters prevent this world being brought into the Tau Empire and as such his forces had garrisoned inside a town and were street by street combing it. Resentfully these two Fire Warriors were patrolling a few streets and had done so for hours, without sound nor sight of anything. Until now. The sentries had turned down another street and were met by a scene of horror. Blood and entrails covered the cobbled stone floor, dead and dieing Tau lay every where, some had bolter shot wounds, and others had simply had limbs ripped off or apart. The stench of death, urine and faeces filled the night air. A bolt of lightning lit up the night sky, revealing a horrific sight. Many of the buildings had dead Tau pinned to them. Many had their throats slashed, blood still dripping from the wounds. Some had no legs, their entrails hanging freely. Again there was a flash of lightning and the Tau looked around trying to wonder what could have done this. Then they saw it, on a building with a glass front; painted in blood was a giant Aquila, from wing tip to wing tip it spanned several metres. Every bit of it painted from Tau blood. “Look he is still alive!” screamed one of the Fire Warriors. “Hold on Warrior, medical help is on its way” he lied. His radio had been full of static for the past two hours. “Run… from the darkness they come.” the dieing Fire Warrior warned, groaning in pain. “Lets get out of here” the Fire Warrior said, turning around. He had expected to see his comrade behind him but just saw the opposite building. “Katil? Where are you?” he shouted, his voice going high as panic set it. “We’ve got to get out of here” he warned. He turned around to run but was stopped. His vision was filled by a deep blue chest plate. A red winged skull symbol upon it. He gulped and looked up, into the menacing, smiling face of the Night Lord Astarte. Inside he screamed, his brain desperately trying to will his legs to move. His entire body was numb with fear. The Night Lord just laughed as he grabbed the Tau’s neck and in one fluid motion snapped it. His malicious and haughty laugh the last thing the Fire Warrior heard and his smirking face the last thing he would see. Another figure stepped out of the shadows. The figure was clad in black power armour with a white Aquila on the front. His pair of lightning claws were unsheathed; energy cackling around them and specks of Tau blood decorated them. “The ambush is ready” interrupted Shrike as his fellow Night Lord Captain was busy pinning the Tau to another wall. Shrike was still getting accustomed to the gruesome terror tactics that the Night Lord legion employed. However he had to admit that it did work. For the past days the band of Raven Guard and Night Lords had been stalking the town at night, killing any and all Tau they had come across and setting up booby traps. In one incident a unit of Fire Warriors stormed a building thinking that rebels were occupying it, only to find an empty building that had explosives planted throughout. The resulting explosion killed twenty Fire Warriors, their Devilfish APC and laid ruin to the adjoining buildings. Shrike and the Night Lord Captain saluted one another; shrike activated his jump pace and leapt onto a nearby building. The next hour or so would be fun. Please enjoy, i hope i captured the Night Lords correctly. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2329122 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Well, the updates have superceded me! ;) I love them all, only one problem; wouldn't Angron still have gold armour, as he always did, and have reallly red skin? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2329185 Share on other sites More sharing options...
astartes88 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 dude very well put together that last chapter! keep it coming Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2329574 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 Thank you thanks you. When i mentioned the armour i did it loosely did i not? :) So next time i will describe his armour in more detail and i did not know about his skin. All i know is that he has a REALLY big chain axe called Gore Father and Gore Child was given to Khârn. I think i will limit my writing to annoy you guys :pirate: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2329695 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Hm...yes, it is better now, though I still think that the beginning is missing suspense...oh well, that's just me. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330111 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirax Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Thank you thanks you. When i mentioned the armour i did it loosely did i not? :P Well, yes ;) But you said, A figure in blue and white armour on the horizon'. He wore gold. Picture him as an incredibly buff Roman Legionnaire... but with red skin and a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge chain axe :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330115 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 A really HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE chainaxe, got it? :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330119 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 I know about the axe since me and Skirax had a 'discussion' about it, didn't we? :P Wouldn't it be more like a gladiator not a legionnaire? Anyways I'll edit it now. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330244 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I would say it's more gladiator like as he was a gladiator in his youth. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330250 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 Yeah same here except instead of a trident ot net he has Gore Father. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330251 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Exactly. There are main types of gladiators and there are also minor types, many of which unknown, so it's fine if you invent one with chainaxes (not very Roman, but we're in the 41st millenium so, hey, no worries! ;)) :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330256 Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Enough chatting! Do you know how much i am bouncing about after catching up on this by reading from page 10? WRITE! TYPE! TYPE FOR THE EMPEROR! :P. thanks antique_nova Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330268 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 Not wishing to sound cocky but i think my latest chapters were rather good :P I cannot and will not rush ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330271 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Hm...they are good. But...I can't say they're the best. Sorry. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330285 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 Oh damn, thats not good ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Oh damn, thats not good :P Why not? :) It's just me that thinks this way and you can't please everyone! You have other readers too! Keep your head up!! Edit: Could you read Part IV and tell me how it is? I'll probably be putting Part V on today too. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330347 Share on other sites More sharing options...
astartes88 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 keep ur head high you Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330348 Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I agree that it isn't your best. Your fights are your best! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330399 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 Oh i will keep writing, i think i did too much too quickly and my standards fell a little. I was writing a Tau part but scrapped it as it was bloody crap. I like my fights but i don't want them to be come all the same and very repetitive. I got a good idea for the next update which involves moreTau dying(hmm think im setting a trend here :)) but just need to iron out a lot of details. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330411 Share on other sites More sharing options...
calgar101 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 A malicious and haunting laugh broke the static on his radio. It sent a shiver down his alien spine. Their radios had been jammed with static all night with sporadic bursts of this strange laughter and screams that emanated from Tau voices. He and the other units that they accompanied had seen many horrors that involved members of his race. All faces in the Devilfish were filled with the same dread and shock that he felt, all longed to return back to Tau space, their bodies rallied against them to run, to hide, to cower. However their belief in the Greater Good and the accompaniment of Ethereal Re’va as well as the hull of the Devilfish APC held them firm. Suddenly the Devilfish lurched to a halt. Beneath their helmets he knew what they were thinking, what they were dreading. Heart rates rapidly increased, their palms became embalmed in sweat. The very thought of having to step outside terrified them. “Why do we stop” a Fire Warrior shouted to the pilots up front. “C..c..come look for yourself” the pilot stammered. The Fire Warrior undid the straps that held him in place and walked towards the cockpit. The door slid open, revealing a gruesome sight. In the middle of the road a dead Tau had been attached to a stake. His armour and weapon lay at his feet and his naked body was covered in his own blood. Flanked to his left and right, were more of these atrocities. Five staked Tau covered the road and there were dozens of rows of these stretching up the road. Even through the pilots viewing bay and the Devilfish’s hull the stench of blood and self defecation could be smelt. The sound of retching and smell of vomit filled the APC’s interior. There was the sound of metal scraping on metal and a ’thud’ as the Devilfish was rocked by a sudden and heavy movement. Nervously the Fire Warriors shared an upwards glace. There was a loud knocking noise. Silence. Another loud knocking noise. Silently and slowly the Tau stood up, readying their weapons. The Shas’O signalled for the Tau nearest the door to open it. He pressed the button and the ramp flung down to the floor in a cloud of steam and with a ‘thud’. Their pulse carbines ready the Tau waited for the steam to clear. “What took you so long to open the door?” asked a Tau who had appeared through the steam. “We thought you were an enemy” replied the Shas’O. “Ethereal Re’va wants to know what the hold up is” “Tell him it’s a blockage from rubble and instruct him to keep inside the Devilfish” “W…” Before the Tau could finish his question a shrilly scream filled the air and then an explosion. A great torrent of fire ejected horizontally from the side of a building that was behind the rear of the convoy and engulfed the other Devilfish. Rubble and debris were blown all over the road, denting the other Devilfish, those unlucky Tau who were outside and the now on fire Devilfish were blow into the opposite buildings. It was a maelstrom of chaos. Another explosion ripped through the air. This time from underneath the lead Devilfish. It flew into the air, flipping multiple times, the fireball racing up into the night sky after it. With an almighty bang the wrecked Devilfish crashed into the road, its occupants being expelled in the explosion now stained the surroundings with their own viscera and blood. The remaining Tau and their Ethereal scrambled in a huddle in the middle of the road. Panic, confusion and fear filled their heads. “H..h.how could this happen.?” the Ethereal struggled to ask. “Are you not trained and do you not have equipment to prevent this?” he snapped. No one replied, they were too busy studying their surroundings for any signs of movement. The one way was filled with dead Tau staked to the ground and a flaming Devilfish; the other was blocked by a mountain of rubble and another Devilfish turned fireball. “Look over there!” shouted the Ethereal, as one the Tau swivelled around their weapons training on the darkness. Re’va could’ve sworn he had seen a pair of red eyes looking at him from the shadows, he shook his head. “Its just my imagination” he muttered to himself. The Shas’O checked his radio again, the continuing static met his endeavours. Apart from the crackling of the fire and heavy breathing from the Tau the air was quiet. Too quite, mused the Shas’O. I doo hope this is a good chapter as i had to re-write this in several places many times. Please enjoy 8hold boltgun to your head* ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330506 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuclearMessiah Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I really liked it hopefully it is building up for a nice climax. Keep it up. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330548 Share on other sites More sharing options...
antique_nova Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I want them slaughtered! I hate them sooo much! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/188926-rise-of-the-imperium-formely-rise-of-the-emperor/page/12/#findComment-2330582 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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