Aqui's Sob topic - My Order passes 3k points...

[Aqui]

Before I go any further, INP, thade if this topic is inappropriate please let me know, or lock it as applicable.

 

Okay, as some may know, I write a few stories in the Librarium's Short stories section and would like some feedback from the members of this sub forum if possible on an SoB story. I'm currently writing a story that covers the origins of my DIY Order, The order of the Dauntless Spirit, and would like to know if it conveys in any accuracy, a Convent and it's Sisters accurately. The story itself is mainly about one Sister Saffron Sera who eventually becomes the Founder and first Canoness of this order. The Convent in question is a small branch of the main order, the Order of the Valorous Heart.

 

Whilst I have read as much as I can about the various Orders of Sisters and know that there are a few Black Library stories with Sisters in (I've only read Daemonifuge), I'd like to know whether what I'm writing is any good. I have had feedback from other members of the board (although I haven't had any for a while ), but who else better than to ask those who are true aficionado's?

 

I'd appreciate any opinions that you might have. I don't have a problem with critical comments, after all, how else is one to improve otherwise?

 

For those who are interested the link for the story is here: A Valorous Heart, a Dauntless Spirit

 

Thank you in advance

Edited August 3, 2017 by Aqui

[Aqui]

Having spent a lot of time playing DOW:SS as Sisters, The itch to make a start on my own army was too strong.  Rather than open another topic, I thought I'd recycle this one.  I could still do with any feedback regarding the story I'm writing (Hint hint ), but a couple of days ago, I decided to bite the bullet and have bought the Canoness (Saffron Sera, the Orders Founder) and Celestine (Counts as Annabelle Chrysanthemum, a Sister who fought against possession by a Keeper of Secrets and won, albeit with the help of Saint Lucia herself...) models.  I haven't got them yet (ETA Thursday at my local GW store), but have been brainstorming how I want to paint them.  I doubt I'll be getting any other models for now, because lets face it - they're fething expensive!  I bought the two mentioned as they are the two I like most, they're HQ units (I tend to start armies with the HQ unit(s) ) and should the SoB finally get new/Finecast models, they'll be OOP (prefer metal minis over a lot of the Finecast stuff at the moment).

 

My DIY orders' colours are:

 

http://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q499/Aquilanus/RegularDauntlessSpiritcolourscheme_zpsb61b2c75.jpg

 

But having had a fiddle around with the painter, I've also come up with:

 

http://i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q499/Aquilanus/AlternativeDauntlessSpiritcolourscheme_zpsd9d44d4a.jpg

 

I kinda like both.  I'd like a second opinion if possible, although I had considered the second one to be used for squad leaders/HQ.  Do other players use colour scheme variations to denote Characters etc?

 

Opinions, facts, ideas greatly appreciated

[*Furyou Miko]

I don't remember if I ever commented on that story, although I did read at least the first two parts. ><

 

I like the second scheme better in general. Purple armour always seems very pretentious to me, and the dark grey shoulder markings clash with the white armour on the shoulder pads.

 

The gold faceplate makes it look more leader-y, so perhaps if you use the second scheme, you could use white helmets for rank and file, and gold helmets for Sisters Superior?

[Aqui]

I don't remember if I ever commented on that story, although I did read at least the first two parts. ><

 

I like the second scheme better in general. Purple armour always seems very pretentious to me, and the dark grey shoulder markings clash with the white armour on the shoulder pads.

 

The gold faceplate makes it look more leader-y, so perhaps if you use the second scheme, you could use white helmets for rank and file, and gold helmets for Sisters Superior?

 

 

Now that you mention the "pretentious" bit, I can see it myself.  When I get chance I'll change the colours on my IS (Index Sororitas) in the Liber Astartes.

 

I don't recall you commenting on my story, but I'm glad you had a look ^_^

[CommissarHarris]

The purple surplice with white armour looks ok tho, with gold or silver trim depending on rank. I think it looks OK...

[Aqui]

The purple surplice with white armour looks ok tho, with gold or silver trim depending on rank. I think it looks OK...

 

 

After having a think on what both Miko and yourself have said, I think the second version is the one I'll be going for   I think that the Silver/Gold idea to denote rank is one that I'll steal use

 

I'll be getting them from the local GW tomorrow (possibly with this lady to kitbash/convert to either a counts as Jacobus or Kyrinov - haven't decided yet.  Any thoughts? ), and I'm looking forward to getting paint on them, although I really need to spend some time on my LPC first

[*Furyou Miko]

The vampire lady looks more Inquisitorial than Ecclesiarchical, to be honest. Part of the problem is that we don't have much evidence of female clerics outside the Adepta Sororitas, though. >< Every priest character I can think of was a male or a saint.

[Aqui]

The vampire lady looks more Inquisitorial than Ecclesiarchical, to be honest. Part of the problem is that we don't have much evidence of female clerics outside the Adepta Sororitas, though. >< Every priest character I can think of was a male or a saint.

 

I had considered using one of the Bretonnian Ladies as well, but besides the cost (as in the kit has two models one on a horse which would never get used and at the price GW wants for them forget it ), the amount of work needed to make them look anything near 40k is beyond me

 

Only alternative is to see if I can't convert the Dark Elf Witch and Dark Eldar Lhamean I inexplicably bought at GW World when I went to last years' Ultra Meet (I had considered both armies before I got the itch to do Sisters...)  That might actually be my best option...

 

I had envisioned on having the entire force I want (1-2k if GW ever gets Plastic Sisters off the drawing board) female, as it just doesn't seem...correct to have up to two blokes as HQ's/Characters even though they're official.  The theme about the Decree Passive, is kinda why I like Sisters.  Having two male Characters included (even though their presence doesn't contravene said Decree as far as I know) just grates against the feel if you know what I mean?

 

Plus, if you haven't guessed already , I love making DIY armies and characters - much fun to be had

 

Thanks for the input, as ever, you've given me a lot to think about ^_^

Edited January 31, 2013 by Aquilanus

[*Furyou Miko]

Hee, I had gathered that.

 

My Jacobus is actually Saint Jacqui, a farm girl. ^^ http://tritex-games.co.uk/store/product.php?id=1086

[Aqui]

Hee, I had gathered that.

My Jacobus is actually Saint Jacqui, a farm girl. ^^ http://tritex-games.co.uk/store/product.php?id=1086

I'd have chosen the Gunslinger one

I've got the minis today. Wish I'd ordered up the Hospitalier, Heavy Bolter and Seraphim Superior as well now (as I think they're cool too ^_^ ) Maybe next month if I can afford it. Celestine is a bit more fiddly than I thought; I was of the opinion that the entire backpack/cloak was one piece I take it the weapon that looks like a melta on the Canoness is the fabled Inferno Pistol? I keep changing my mind as to what options to give her (I'm fixed on the Inferno pistol), but do the scroll or book actually have an effect in the game?

In any case, I'm glad I've got 'em now

Had (another) fiddle with the colour scheme:

The Gold edging on the shoulders and helmet will denote rank (basic Sisters will have either White or Silver colours)

I also saw in the local Library two Sisters novels (James Swallow if I recall) a few days ago (didn't borrow them as I don't know where my smegging Library card is ) are they any good?

[*Furyou Miko]

Not any more.

 

Time was (Witch Hunter codex) that the Book allowed everyone within 6" (including her) to choose to use her unmodified leadership score (or choose not to as the case may be). The scroll I believe is supposed to be an Inquisitorial Mandate, but since Heroines couldn't take them I think it was probably just a cool scroll.

 

Yeah, the mini-melta is an Inferno Pistol. ^^

 

Never built a Celestine with a Celestine backpack, so... heh.

 

As far as James Swallow's books go, meh. They're not great. Not terrible as books, I guess... But Miriya is such a watered-down character to make her "accessible as a heroine" that there just doesn't seem much point, and while usually I'm all for lesbians in novels, the just-shy-of-a-kiss scene at the end of the first book is just completely unnecessary pandering to teenage boy fantasies that does nothing but increase the number of people who think Sisters are just slaaneshi cultists waiting to happen. Especially since the second book acts as if it never happened.

 

Besides, the 'happy ending' of the first book is just so contrived that.. gah. Hello? Miriya was a Celestian (not a Seraphim as it says on the blurb!) Superior, who broke orders, went rogue with a known heretic psyker and blew up a mountain on a shrine world. For all of this, her punishment... is to be demoted to Battle Sister, which suits her just fine since it means she can take a little holiday in the next book to hang around Verity some more. Ugh.

[Aqui]

Not any more.

 

Time was (Witch Hunter codex) that the Book allowed everyone within 6" (including her) to choose to use her unmodified leadership score (or choose not to as the case may be). The scroll I believe is supposed to be an Inquisitorial Mandate, but since Heroines couldn't take them I think it was probably just a cool scroll.

 

Yeah, the mini-melta is an Inferno Pistol. ^^

 

Never built a Celestine with a Celestine backpack, so... heh.

 

As far as James Swallow's books go, meh. They're not great. Not terrible as books, I guess... But Miriya is such a watered-down character to make her "accessible as a heroine" that there just doesn't seem much point, and while usually I'm all for lesbians in novels, the just-shy-of-a-kiss scene at the end of the first book is just completely unnecessary pandering to teenage boy fantasies that does nothing but increase the number of people who think Sisters are just slaaneshi cultists waiting to happen. Especially since the second book acts as if it never happened.

 

Besides, the 'happy ending' of the first book is just so contrived that.. gah. Hello? Miriya was a Celestian (not a Seraphim as it says on the blurb!) Superior, who broke orders, went rogue with a known heretic psyker and blew up a mountain on a shrine world. For all of this, her punishment... is to be demoted to Battle Sister, which suits her just fine since it means she can take a little holiday in the next book to hang around Verity some more. Ugh.

 

So...you're not a fan then? :lol:

 

Thanks for the heads up on the book and scroll.  I think I should really try to find a copy of "Witch hunters" so I don't have to keep asking everyone here questions left, right and centre :lol:

[*Furyou Miko]

Not really. I have them and the audiobook because they're Sisters, but every time I see them I grind my teeth over my rejected manuscripts. Heh.

[Aqui]

Not really. I have them and the audiobook because they're Sisters, but every time I see them I grind my teeth over my rejected manuscripts. Heh.

 

I may just try and find my Library card and borrow them, or just spend a couple hours there and read them, just to see for myself :lol:

 

After a search to see how much a copy of Witch Hunters would cost, I found out that GW have it on their site as a .pdf so I'll be having a good nose through it ^_^

 

Witch Hunters pdf

[*Furyou Miko]

Huh. I assumed they took that down.

 

It does lack some of the fluff information from that era, I think, but that fluff was crap and retgonned anyway. Most useful thing was their "organisation of the sisters of battle" chart.

[nzz]

Where did you find the pdf :$ i want, and i think the armor looks great :)

[Aqui]

Where did you find the pdf :$ i want, and i think the armor looks great

 

As Miko said, it does have a significant parts missing :( mainly fluff, but the link is:

 

http://www.games-workshop.com/MEDIA_CustomProductCatalog/m1050291a_Codex__Witch_Hunters

[Aqui]

It's been a long time! And I actually have something to show. I was going to put it in my catch all WIP topic in the WIP section, but I didn't want it to get lost amongst all the Astartes, and at least here, those who might be interested will get a better chance to see it

She's still not quite finished, but I'm very excited to have gotten this far, so I thought I'd show her off! I've taken over 40 pictures of her, but even the one I've settled for has washed out a lot of colour In any case, may I introduce Annabelle Chrysanthemum (Counts as Celestine) of the Order of the Dauntless Spirit:

A little background:

Originally the spoilt and only daughter of a rich merchant family, she was orphaned at 9 years of age when her family's trading vessel was raided. Whilst the crew was slaughtered, she managed to get inside the vast network of conduits that ran the length of the ship. The ship was wrecked, leaving her the only survivor. After some months left adrift, it was spotted by an Astartes ship and searched. Once she was returned to her home planet, her cousin had already taken over the family business and denounced her. A nearby mission had heard of her plight and took her in, resulting in her recruitment by the Order of the Valorous Heart.

After her training, she was sent to a small convent on a planet called Byzantium. Under the tutelage of the Canoness, Eliza Cho, she was selected to be part of a squad of Sisters who would eventually go on to command the Convent. On a mission to free a Shrine World from Chaos, she was tortured near to death by a Cultist group known as the Learn

[greatcrusade08]

always nice to see some background with  counts as project.. very well done.

mini is pretty well done too, i really like the white gold of the armour.

 

my own counts as celestine is cassius with a jump pack :P

will you be bringing your SOB in june?

[Aqui]

always nice to see some background with  counts as project.. very well done.

mini is pretty well done too, i really like the white gold of the armour.

 

my own counts as celestine is cassius with a jump pack

will you be bringing your SOB in june?

 

Thanks ^_^ , although the armour is actually an amended recpie of how I paint "Death Wing" bone white (GW white spray - two heavy coats of Seraphim Sepia, heavy drybrush of Screaming Skull, drybrush of White Scar).  Blasted camera :(  

 

I've only got Annabelle and a Canoness mini (Saffron Sera, unpainted as yet) at the moment, as they're the only metal ones I like asides from the Heavy weapon Sister and Hospitalier.  It's cheaper and easier to concentrate on my Marine armies at the moment :(  Otherwise, there'd be far more.  Damn it GW, just release plastic Sisters already!

 

I want to get my Rainbow Warriors done for the Ultra Meet, otherwise I'll be taking my Steel Wings.  I might bring her and the Canoness (once finished) to use as objective markers (which is something else I need to get done...)

 

I'll have to have another look at your SoB and Scout armies, as I want to eventually get a scout squad or two.  No one knows them better than you ;)

[RookBartly]

I like it!  Looks awesome!  I think you sould keep the purple on the shoulder 'pads' but that is just me.  BTW Miko: you don't know 'pretentious' untill you have seen my paint scheme!  Gold and Silver Armor with Blue cape/cloth.  My army looks very very very bright moving across the table

I like it!  Looks awesome!  I think you sould keep the purple on the shoulder 'pads' but that is just me.  BTW Miko: you don't know 'pretentious' untill you have seen my paint scheme!  Gold and Silver Armor with Blue cape/cloth.  My army looks very very very bright moving across the table

PS: Aquilanus

 

I have to say your 'Avatar' is fu$%ing awesome! 

[Aqui]

Thanks ^_^  I really enjoyed painting Annabelle, although the assembly was a pain in the gorram bum!

 

I found the avatar on a t-shirt printing site.  I'll have to try to remember where I saw it as I really want one! ^_^

[*Furyou Miko]

She looks really good. I love the highlighting on the cloak.

 

The only criticism would be that the hawk looks very flat, like it's just been painted with Scorched Brown. ^^; might just be the photo though.

[Aqui]

She looks really good. I love the highlighting on the cloak.

 

The only criticism would be that the hawk looks very flat, like it's just been painted with Scorched Brown. ^^; might just be the photo though.

 

I haven't gotten around to highlighting the bird yet, as I'd spent most of today on it and wanted a rest.  I've got the bird, part of her drape? at the front that I've missed, touch up a few bits, the base and a few other things before I consider her completely finished ^_^

 

Glad you like her, the cloak was very simple:

 

GW white spray paint

Nagaroth Night

2 - 3 heavy coats of Druichii Violet

Heavy drybrush of White Scar

2 coats of Druichii Violet.

 

When I do the purple for the rest of the (eventual) army, I won't dry brush the white on as heavy, but still it's effective enough ^_^

 

The only thing that really bugs me in that picture is her lips - I only added a little Khorne Red to define her lips, the close up makes her look like an Essex girl or as if she's taken a bite out of someone's neck! :blink:  Her hair could have been a little more realistic, rather than a 40k Peroxide :lol:

 

Oh well ^_^

[greatcrusade08]

 

 

I'll have to have another look at your SoB and Scout armies, as I want to eventually get a scout squad or two.  No one knows them better than you

 

cool, i just went back to it and realised i never posted finished pics of the trucks, so ill do that tonight