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  1. Well, now that I've been bitten by the Sisters bug (but have no way of being able to scratch it, what with there being no proper Codex and no plastic Minis ), I've decided to delve into the background of my DIY Adepta Sororitas Order, The Order of the Dauntless Spirit. I will get around to carrying on my other stuff, but those who know me, know that I tend to rotate stuff around to stop them from getting boring (and subsequently abandoning them completely). Be also warned, there will be the usual references to Sci-fi etc....see if you can guess them all So, once again, here we go! Byzantium was a world of wonder. An orb of natural beauty that was rare in the Imperium. Untouched, undisturbed. The vigilance of the Sister of the Order or the Valorous Heart made sure it was so. No stone was unturned in their quest to seek out those who would corrupt, and would be ever unrelenting in the face of the Horrors of the Warp. A small Covent with no more than a few Hundred Sisters, their watchful eyes cast over the denizens of that world. It was a world known for it's trade in livestock. An irony, in the minds of some, that the Sheppard's of flocks are themselves watched. The Convent itself was relatively small, the Order encouraging their number to go forth, taking the word of the Emperor with them to the furthest reaches of the planet. From the lowest Valleys, to the highest peaks. Canoness, Lady Eliza Cho had risen with the dawn, like many, the routine of early mornings ground into her psyche at an early age. Having already made her morning dedication to both Saint Lucia and the Emperor of Mankind, she turned her attention to exercise regime of her new recruits. Fifty new recruits had arrived a season ago, and already most had attained enough competence to move to the next stage of training. It was true enough that the Schola Progenium had instilled discipline and fitness, but it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. The training cadre had noticed her interest and knew that she would want them driven harder. One such trainer had caught her eye. The Canoness walked across the hall towards her. It was impossible to be discrete. Every recruit in the Covent stopped, gawping in awe at her Armour. A tall woman with Raven hair and bright Green eyes, standing at over 6 feet without her plate, she dominated the attention of everyone. The silence was almost unbearable, no one dared speak. To attract the attention of the Canoness, was to court trouble. And someone had. The trainer had taken the Canoness aside and was whispering animatedly. The tension was palpable by now. Still listening, to her subordinate, Cho turned and stared at the recruits, her eyes hunting for an individual. All trainees averted their eyes from her gaze. Except one. That individual stared back with an uncaring look on her features, her brown eyes so dark it made them look like orbs of obsidian. Her hair, like all recruits was close cut, but hers unlike everyone else's was red, flame like and matched her temper. It did not bode well. "Recruit Saffron Sera, front and centre." Serra paused. Even she was not so wilful that she would disobey the Canoness, but for a moment... "Front and Centre!" Reluctantly, Sera stepped forward. Standing in front of the Canoness, she willed her body not to tremble. She almost succeeded. "I have just been told of your tardiness. It is not the first time you have been found wanting. What say you?" "I have nothing to say," Sera answered knowing full well that there wasn't. Five minutes late for morning exercise had no excuse, but she had a reason for it. Her contrary nature would not allow her to explain, even if she was given an opportunity to do so. "So. As you have some issue with authority, it seems that I have little choice in punishing you. You will be put in solitary confinement for two weeks. When you are released you will report to me directly for further punishment." Cho studied her carefully. No reaction. "You and you," she continued pointing at two other recruits. Ensure she reports to Solitary immediately, or you yourselves will join her!" Hastily saluting the Canoness, the two helpless girls dragged Sera towards the punishment wing. Sera offered no resistance. The detention wing was located in the East tower. Overlooking a sheer cliff edge it was a visible deterrent against heresy. It was taller than the other wings, and was demoralising just to look at. The cold hard reality of Imperial justice. Thrown in a cell, by a Sororitas, Sera looked around the place she would call home for two weeks. Sighing, she knelt before a crudely made alter, the Double headed Eagle scratched into the stone wall, she began to pray. At days end, Eliza Cho had taken to her chambers. A simple room, decorated only with a bed and desk, an alter to the immortal Emperor in the corner of the room. On the desk was a cogitator, basic but functional. Entering her authentication, she entered a request for information. The cogitator stated that it would take approximately a week for the information to be brought forth. Grimly, she wondered what to do with Saffron Sera. A bright girl, one who had excelled in Imperial History, Dogma and in weapons training, but wilful and resentful of authority. The escort from the Schola Progenium had told her that she had always been that way, and indeed been the only student to have nearly been expelled on five separate occasions. Cho wondered about that. Either the Masters there were getting far too lenient, or there was a mitigating circumstance. For Sera's sake, it had better be something exceptional. Ten days later, the information Cho had requested had arrived. Reading, Cho had no doubt as to why Sera resented authority. Making her way to the detention wing, Cho hoped that it was still possible to get through to her. Sera had knelt before the Altar for hours. Her legs had lost all feeling, but she didn't care. The screams, for Mercy and that of blasphemy from the other cells were still as unnerving as they had been when she first arrived. Praying helped blot them out. She was currently reciting a benediction, over one hundred and fifty verses long. Spoken properly, it would take over and hour to recite, and Saffron Sera was particular that it was done correctly. So distracted by her devotional prayer that she hadn't noticed her cell door had opened ten minutes earlier. Coming to the end, Sera realised that she was not alone. "I have never heard that prayer before," Cho said quietly. The prayer had stirred pangs of emotion, of piety. Whilst long winded, it had a quiet, forcefulness quality. Cho was impressed. "Where does it come from?" Sera tried to rise and stand to attention, but her legs were completely numb. Seeing her attempt, Cho gently helped the recruit up. Sera herself was shaking, still startled by Cho's appearance in the room. "Be not afraid. I know what happened that caused you to be an Orphan and send you on your way to the Progenium. I merely ask, why do you persist in your waywardness?" Sera had managed to get some feeling in her legs, and stood to as near to attention as she could. Staring straight ahead, she said nothing. "Your parents were killed by a traitor, and you left for dead. As the heretic was in a position of authority, of trust. You, by extension of what he did now have a distrust of anyone with authority. Correct?" Cho looked at Sera directly. Her face showed no emotion at all. Nothing, but one tear. Cho sighed. Whilst the girl needed to shown that her behaviour was unacceptable, she could see so much potential in her. So much, especially after listening to the benediction. She hadn't even heard all of it, but knew it took a lot of dedication to he able to recite such a powerful prayer from memory. And from what the guards had told her, she had recited the prayer daily since she had been incarcerated. "And the reason for your persistent tardiness is your devotion to reciting this prayer every morning. I'm not surprised at that. "You still have 3 days left on your penance, but I feel that it will not be best spent here. Instead you will teach me this prayer. You will subsequently teach it to all members of this order so that all will benefit from it. In return, I will show you the way to exorcise the daemon that haunts you." "How will you do that?" Sera spoke hoarsely, Cho realising that the reason Sera hadn't spoken, was because she couldn't. "We are the Adepta Sororitas, girl. We can exorcise anything". Next part soon C+C welcome!
  2. Before I go any further, INP, thade if this topic is inappropriate please let me know, or lock it as applicable. Okay, as some may know, I write a few stories in the Librarium's Short stories section and would like some feedback from the members of this sub forum if possible on an SoB story. I'm currently writing a story that covers the origins of my DIY Order, The order of the Dauntless Spirit, and would like to know if it conveys in any accuracy, a Convent and it's Sisters accurately. The story itself is mainly about one Sister Saffron Sera who eventually becomes the Founder and first Canoness of this order. The Convent in question is a small branch of the main order, the Order of the Valorous Heart. Whilst I have read as much as I can about the various Orders of Sisters and know that there are a few Black Library stories with Sisters in (I've only read Daemonifuge), I'd like to know whether what I'm writing is any good. I have had feedback from other members of the board (although I haven't had any for a while ), but who else better than to ask those who are true aficionado's? I'd appreciate any opinions that you might have. I don't have a problem with critical comments, after all, how else is one to improve otherwise? For those who are interested the link for the story is here: A Valorous Heart, a Dauntless Spirit Thank you in advance
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