Grimdarkness Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Honesty, I'm surprised no one's cussed me out for Calibanite Magnus allowing gene-hanced female mortals in their ranks..... Or Chemosian Perturabo writing the Legiones Codex, for that matter.... Heck I thought of doing 2 or 11 as female but my head can't take the amount of that would be dumped on it. Yet idea after idea about a 2nd or 11th primarch ran amuck in my head at work today maybe I just might do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Well, since I am taking each person's piece as fully their own, even if inside a communal project, I don't want someone to think I'm just going no, I can do better. That just sounds conceited. The sin of pride is no sin of mine. But I fully understand the drive to want to perfect a creation by any means and by anyone's aid. . . . Interesting that it is a Chemosian that is inspiring such a need for perfection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noctus Cornix Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 i freaking loved Perturabo on Chemos! and Corax on Nuceria. (i really want that bastard drowned in a lake of acid) Finally! Someone who appreciates me! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Go home, Noctus. You're drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 DELETED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High MarshalGR Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Thanks for the reassurance. Working on the Lightning Bearers at the moment. Primarch - Homeworlds Lion - Chogoris, Cthonia =][= DELETED =][= Fulgrim - Medusa, Nuceria Perturabo - Chemos Jaghatai - Medusa Russ - Unknown Fleet Dorn - Nostramo Konrad Curze - Baal, Nocturne, Colchis Sanguinius - Colchis Ferrus Manus - Olympia, Inwit, Nuceria =][= DELETED =][= Angron - Macragge Guilliman - Barbarus Mortarion - Olympia, Nostramo Magnus - Caliban Horus - Deliverance, Inwit Lorgar - Fenris Vulkan - Prospero Corax - Nuceria Alpharius - Cthonia, Olympia I wanna have a go at Dorn on Maccragge and the Lion on Macragge. They will be up later today, maybe 12-14 hours from now since I have to go to work. At least one of them will be up. Hope no one worked on either of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 I like it. So last complaint! Hypaspistai is a major mouthful that the vast majority, myself included, will have to look up. Though it is a wicked name, wouldn't it be better to choose one that can be understood and pronounced easily, or simply say Shield Bearer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I like it, the changes are good and much more subtle. Show not tell, me likey. I would appreciate a review of my take on a Nocturnian Jonson, and where I can drastically improve, knowing that it needs work... As for Magnus on Caliban, did he strike a deal with the watchers? Or the daemon inside Caliban? Or is this to be revealed later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 DELETED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 DELETED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Legion splitting repercussions? I noted the change in his physical features, but whether watcher or daemon was not immediately apparent ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 DELETED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Priest Ridcully Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I'd vote for Ionian Pertrurabo, Fenrisian Logar and Pirate Russ, Irish Magnus and the Haunted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High MarshalGR Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 UPDATE: The Lion on Macragge yes, but I will go for Dorn on Chogoris and the Lion on Macragge. After those two are over, I'll move on to Angron or maybe Curze. First one will be up in about 10 hours or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 *Reads Cormac's Khan Story* Well, damn. That's the nails in the coffin for Fulgrim on Medusa. I can't compete with that much badassery. Hmm. Most of my stuff is being totally outclassed - No I'm Alpharius even wrote a better version of Ferrus on Inwit than I did, to the point where I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it first. Looks like I'm gonna have to really step my game up somehow. Maybe I should just pick one Primarch/Planet and run with that? Since I really like Cormac's Khan, if I stick with one Primarch it'll be Fulgrim. I just need to work out what to do with him. Also, Noctus, Nucerian Corax Is Best Corax. Someone's gonna have to do something incredible to stop him from getting my vote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no I'm alpharius Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Ace: that was the first bit of fiction i've written in over a decade. The piece definitely needs an edit and some extra details. I wanted to have him lead down the path of doing inhuman things for totally the right reasons. If you like it, feel free to use it. I think the Nuceria Ferrus could fit in along the line (ball and socket waist joint, yes). Where the Iron Hands go from here? 7foot steel giants, use of servitors and Hitech flashy weaponry, ferrus with four tentacular tools/interface spikes, referring to compliance as assimilation. Theres a universe of ideas to riff on or steal. Wrt Nuceria Corax, no disrespect intended, I just think it clicks with Khan so much more. I couldn't write the piece though without copying swathes of yours, which I did enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Priest Ridcully Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 The war's against the traitorous Iron hands becoming known as the Cyber wars mayhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hrvat Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 So after sleeping on it here is the premise of what I will write:Mortarion, The Reaver King, Lord of the XIV Legion - The Dusk Raiders, Master of Macragge - Mortarion lands on the field of battle where Konor had defeated the tribes of Illyrium and is found by Bardylis - Raised in the barbaric lands of the north he grew up in a culture of warriors actumed to raiding for what they want - "you claim what you kill" - Becomes the ultimate raider and the richest man of the north eventually usurping his "fathers" place - Raids are launched against the south - this trigers a slave revolt, Konor is killed, Gallan becomes the new top leader - Gallan drives north to eredicate the raiders and bandits and to replenish the depleted slave stocks - Mortarion and his men a driven into the most ihospitable places of Macragge where most die but the most ressilient survive and start hitting back at the Gallan - Raids are allways launched with the last ray of the sun and are fought in the dark - Mortarion has great success which results in Gallan being assassinated by rivals causing a civil war - Macragge is sundered and Mortarion emerges top dog after plundering half the plant into poverty and building an intimidating fortress at the site of his descent - Other worlds near Macragge try to help the defeated elite but in return only draw Mortarion's attention on them - Mortarion's people learn how to build and operate space craft and start raiding nearby worlds of their wealth - Mortarion's depradations ruin numerous worlds drawing the attention of the Emperor - Mortarion accepts his new role in the univers and takes command of the Dusk Raiders Legion - Though fighting for the Emperor and unification of humanity Mortarion is ultimatly driven by avarice and the need to acquire further riches for his vaults on Macragge - Eventually this spreads to the legion and many worlds are so plundered during the compliance that the population barely has enough to survive - After several well recorded excessess Mortarion and the Dusk Raiders are censured for their actions and forced by the Emperor to give away their riches - In the aftermath the Legion becomes extremely spartan and ascetic - It is only a mask for the Legion often intercepts ships bearing the Imperial tithe from the worlds they brough into compliance to take "their due" - Before a full investigation can be launched the great betrayal happens - When contacted by the Arch Heretic Mortarion joins the rebellion with gusto for the opportunity to plunder the vaults of Mars and the Emperor's own vault on Terra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 No I'm Alpharius: Then I'm doubly staggered if that was your first effort in over a decade, because my Ferrus looks like a sentimental weakling next to yours. I might go so far as to scrap my one so people can't vote for it by mistake! Hrvat: Looks like a heck of a tale, for sure! I could see your Mortarion thinking of the worlds he's taken as 'his' worlds, rather than the Emperor's - so when anything else attacks them he becomes furious that something dares to threaten what is rightfully his. Aquilanus: I have no earthly idea what your Alpharius and Omegon are called. Is there any chance you can change their names for something the simple people like me can understand? Heathens: I don't know if anyone is ever going to top your Perturabo. Excellent stuff! -=-=-=-=-=-= I need to re-do Fulgrim on Medusa. I'd like to make Medusan Fulgrim the Best Fulgrim, I just need to work out how. I want to make a Fulgrim that people can respect, but I think I've made him a bit generic and mary-sue-ish, his premature death aside. Perhaps his victory over Asirnoth should come at a greater price? I was pretty happy with having him study the Silver Wyrm (like canon Fulgrim studies Chemosian tech) and decide on the best way to kill it, but perhaps he should be overconfident and get his ass kicked. Hmm. Should I try for something less like a typical heroic Primarch? Perturabo and Angron already have that sewn up. (Never thought I'd by typing that! ) Much to think about, for sure. I'm open to ideas, if anyone's feeling inspired. Failing that, it's time for me to go meditate and come up with something that works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 DELETED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
no I'm alpharius Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Probably a bit too soon for a death scene but I had a superb idea for how Dorn, the Haunted finally goes down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 DELETED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Priest Ridcully Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 And me for Anubis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noctus Cornix Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Ace: that was the first bit of fiction i've written in over a decade. The piece definitely needs an edit and some extra details. I wanted to have him lead down the path of doing inhuman things for totally the right reasons. If you like it, feel free to use it. I think the Nuceria Ferrus could fit in along the line (ball and socket waist joint, yes). Where the Iron Hands go from here? 7foot steel giants, use of servitors and Hitech flashy weaponry, ferrus with four tentacular tools/interface spikes, referring to compliance as assimilation. Theres a universe of ideas to riff on or steal. Wrt Nuceria Corax, no disrespect intended, I just think it clicks with Khan so much more. I couldn't write the piece though without copying swathes of yours, which I did enjoy. Well, I think that's sort of the point to it. The concept, in theory, does not click with the Corax we know in any form or fashion. He is known as the Primarch of conscience. He created a rebellion on his own homeworld and freed the slaves from servitude, not the otherway around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveNYC Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 That's the whole nature vs. nurture bit. Not to mention that there's a long history of slavers coming up with various excuses for their behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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