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You know you're an Imperial Guardsman when...


librisrouge

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So yeah, this Commissar guy walks up to me, and says I have to shave and cut my hair, because it's out of regs... So I broke his neck... Never tell a Fenrisian to cut his hair or shave his beard... The Company Commander promoted me, because now we get :censored: done...  got to keep his bolt pistol and sword, and his coat. Things work so much better when you can simply ask someone to do something without the fear of a bolter round to the face...

When you don't even have a name tag.  Just go on, lay down.

 

You consider Maglite to be an arms dealer.

 

You don't know that Leman Russ is actually a primarch.

 

You consider ants to be masterful tacticians.

 

Your boots are more valuable than you.

 

Latrine duty is one of the best posts you can have.

 

Any question you ask may as well be "Excuse me sir, would you kindly execute me?"

Sleeping with a rifle sounds dangerous, I hope you gents use protection. :P

 

...When you kill a Knight in one turn by surrounding it with a Vendetta, Macharius Vanquisher, Lascannon HWT, Meltagun Veterans and a Manticore barrage....and only three of those were necessary to kill it!

Sleeping with a rifle sounds dangerous, I hope you gents use protection. :tongue.:

 

...When you kill a Knight in one turn by surrounding it with a Vendetta, Macharius Vanquisher, Lascannon HWT, Meltagun Veterans and a Manticore barrage....and only three of those were necessary to kill it!

Heh, did that in one turn with a vet squad, two vanquishers, and Pask in his Punisher.

 

... When you begin thinking of solving all your problems by tossing enough troops at it, it'll go away.

When your FLGS plans you have a 1000 point competitive event, to the dismay of all the other players who now probably can't fit in their favorite power combos or spaming choices, and all you can think is whether you should keep the manpower count under 100 to be fair to the others.

When your FLGS plans you have a 1000 point competitive event, to the dismay of all the other players who now probably can't fit in their favorite power combos or spaming choices, and all you can think is whether you should keep the manpower count under 100 to be fair to the others.

Wait, we're supposed to play fair?  I thought the entire point of the Guard was to completely overwhelm the enemies of the Emperor with armies of such behemoth model counts that they dwarf the entire model collections of others.

So, to introduce a concept to you, Overkill is when you use more force to kill something than is needed to accomplish the task. That being said, need is a subjective term. I don't need to field 12 Leman Russes, but I want to. I don't need to have a knight in every one of my lists... but I want to... 

 

You don't need to exterminatus a whole planet just because one Tau shows up with some flashy tech, but It does send a message... So in conclusion overkill is a thing, that other people worry about. It is entirely underrated, like the average guardsman...

...When you're writing a 1500pt list against Grey Knights, start with Pask in a Punisher and a Demolisher buddy, throw down 3 Veteran squads with kitted-out Special Weapons, Carapace Armour and Chimeras as Troops, and still haven't hit 1K yet...

 

...So you add a Banewolf and two LRBTs, smiling as you remember a conversation where your GK friend was bemoaning his lack of long-range anti-tank ability. :P

Ok, just to see if I get this concept: overkill is killing an enemy and then he "falls over", killing another enemy. Well, that right there is a two-for-one! Why didn't you just say that?

No, no, no... it's more like when you see a single dude just standing around, and instead of shooting him in the head with your rifle, you have a Marauder Bomber drop a planet cracker bomb on his head... 

 

I know, it seems like a no-brainer, use the planet cracker, but some people would just shoot him...

 

Ok, just to see if I get this concept: overkill is killing an enemy and then he "falls over", killing another enemy. Well, that right there is a two-for-one! Why didn't you just say that?

No, no, no... it's more like when you see a single dude just standing around, and instead of shooting him in the head with your rifle, you have a Marauder Bomber drop a planet cracker bomb on his head... 

 

I know, it seems like a no-brainer, use the planet cracker, but some people would just shoot him...

 

Why?  Why would you shoot him?  A full scale artillery/airstrike is the only viable solution to every problem.  I mean, just look at the Castigation of Derondis; it is the very model of how any problem should be addressed.

 

 

Ok, just to see if I get this concept: overkill is killing an enemy and then he "falls over", killing another enemy. Well, that right there is a two-for-one! Why didn't you just say that?

No, no, no... it's more like when you see a single dude just standing around, and instead of shooting him in the head with your rifle, you have a Marauder Bomber drop a planet cracker bomb on his head... 

 

I know, it seems like a no-brainer, use the planet cracker, but some people would just shoot him...

 

Why?  Why would you shoot him?  A full scale artillery/airstrike is the only viable solution to every problem.  I mean, just look at the Castigation of Derondis; it is the very model of how any problem should be addressed.

 

Personally, I'm not a fan of either solution, they're just too darn quick. And impersonal, you kids these days don't seem to understand the value in good beatdown... Plus it gives you the opportunity to deliver some really zippy one-liners...

 

 

 

Ok, just to see if I get this concept: overkill is killing an enemy and then he "falls over", killing another enemy. Well, that right there is a two-for-one! Why didn't you just say that?

No, no, no... it's more like when you see a single dude just standing around, and instead of shooting him in the head with your rifle, you have a Marauder Bomber drop a planet cracker bomb on his head... 

 

I know, it seems like a no-brainer, use the planet cracker, but some people would just shoot him...

 

Why?  Why would you shoot him?  A full scale artillery/airstrike is the only viable solution to every problem.  I mean, just look at the Castigation of Derondis; it is the very model of how any problem should be addressed.

 

Personally, I'm not a fan of either solution, they're just too darn quick. And impersonal, you kids these days don't seem to understand the value in good beatdown... Plus it gives you the opportunity to deliver some really zippy one-liners...

 

 

"Attacking Bakka are we? Well here's back at ya!"

When you actually enjoy the idea of sending conscripts led by a commissar forward and pray for a comedy/glorious death!

 

Isn't that what conscripts and commissars are for? Fighting is for professional Guardsmen, and leading them is for Commanders...

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