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You know you're an Imperial Guardsman when...


librisrouge

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... you're afraid to question an instruction booklet for fear the commissar will hear about it.

 

... you still wake up at 500am even though they mustered you out long ago.

 

... a sound wakes you in the middle of the night and instinctively go for your flashlight for self-defense.

 

 

you're a Catachan if the Commisar disappears,....

If you're a Catachan, the Commissar never arrived. Strange how that keeps happening.

 

Catachan Private: "Commissar?  What's that, some kind of fancy new knife?"

 

Too unbelievable an excuse. Catachans know every kind of knife there is and a few that aren't.

 

...You wonder why Hurricane Lasguns aren't a Vehicle Weapon option on everything.

THIS. MUST. HAPPEN.

 

Yes, yes it must.

 

Isn't that normally called a conscript squad? :wink:

No, but suddenly it seems like the exact kind of squad support weapon they should have...

 

...when you hum "Ride of the Valkyries" because your deep striking 'paratroopers' are coming in.

  • 2 weeks later...

Your guardsmen refer to the Rhino and its brothers (Razorbacks, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, Predators) as "baby tanks."

 

Then the Iron Hands show up, with a Leman Russ Vanquisher's turret shoehorned into a Predator's hull. Your guardsmen can't help but ask if the Space Marines are compensating for something.

 

...when you plan on adding twenty Kasrkin to your forces and quickly end up with 51 models. We don't do things halfway here in the guard.

Halfway?  I'm not familiar with that word...

Halfway is how far the enemy get across the table before being annihilated :wink:

 

 

...when you plan on adding twenty Kasrkin to your forces and quickly end up with 51 models. We don't do things halfway here in the guard.

Halfway?  I'm not familiar with that word...

Halfway is how far the enemy get across the table before being annihilated :wink:

 

A true guardsman would have destroyed the enemy army with artillery before the battle started.

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