Kelborn Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Some additional participants, be it pro or contra genetical enhancements: (if it's an Astartes only thing, than ignore all besides Dah'arwin) Pro: CH4-RL3-S Dah'arwin: Magos of the Genetors of the Mechanicum; holds a speach about the necessity of improvement in order to survive; universe is too dangerous to stay on this evolutional level; mankind needs to evolve House Ohrlacc: needed to chance their genotype to survive the dangerous enviroment of their homeworld House Ordoz: same as Dah'arwin but as everyone knows that they improve themselves so that their combat drugs work more efficiantly, they are distrusted by the rest of the Imperium Contra: House Atreis: if mankind changes itself, it will loose his soul and uniqueness, becoming nothing more like the mutants and crazy fanatics they are fighting right now during the Great Crusade Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247541 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Well played on Charles Darwin. Well played. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247606 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Although Daer'dd is the prosecutor, many witnesses and voices will be heard throughout the event. Also, I need to know what Kozja's flagship is called. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247703 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Just been thinking, what do you think about the whole Imperium thinking that one specific primarch is either pro or con genemods, and he suddenly turns round at the prosecution and tells them they were all wrong ? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247807 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Sounds like a twist you'd find in a cop/law drama tv show. Keep in mind, I'm saying that from a purely neutral point. What were your thoughts? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247828 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Well, if it's not done in a "GOTCHA!" style, it could be alright. Like Angron not much minding Librarians kicking around after Nikea despite the way it sets off the Nails. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247829 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Oops, obviously too much bad tv recently X) But what if people thought he was neutral, before they discover that he is in fact for genemod ? But feel free to ignore :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247847 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 It could work as a story point, but what the trouble I'm having is the why. In a novel, it could become an interesting plot point that leads to some conflict and characterisation, but I'm not sure what to do with it in the historical writing you see in a FW book. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247858 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 It could work as a story point, but what the trouble I'm having is the why. In a novel, it could become an interesting plot point that leads to some conflict and characterisation, but I'm not sure what to do with it in the historical writing you see in a FW book. Okay, it was just an idea for if ever someone wanted to write a more detailed story about the prosecution :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247881 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skalpynock Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Ah, yes, the flagship's name. I spent far too long deciding on it, but ultimately I settled on Retored Glory. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4247976 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 This revelation would spark heated debate across the Imperium. Was the human race denying itself a necessary step in its own evolution toward dominance? Or was this the path of damnation covered in shallow promises? To restore the peace, the Emperor declared that he would judge Vizenko and summoned the errant Warbringer to his court. It was on the radiated moon of Baal where this trial would take place. At the Emperor's behest, the Primarch Niklaas would construct a magnificent coliseum, protected from the radiated wastes by powerful shield generators. It was here the matter of gene manipulation would be put to rest. When the decree arrived on the command deck of the Restored Glory, Kozja Darzalas declared that he would represent his son as his legal counsel. While Kozja was pledging to defend, one of his brothers was assuming the role of prosecutor. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4248317 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 11, 2015 Author Share Posted December 11, 2015 Dear'dd was renowned for his wondrous weapons of war and for his large stature even among his brothers. Though he often sought to strengthen the ties of brotherhood among the sons of the Emperor, this was a controversy he possessed powerful feelings over. When Malcador asked him to serve the Imperium as prosecutor in this fateful trial, he accepted without a second thought. It was not without criticism did Dear'dd take his rightful place in the coliseum. Many of his detractors argued that his support of extensive use of bionics disqualified him. Dear'dd countered that there was a vast difference between the mechanical nature of what he supported versus the genetic foundation espoused by the Warbringers. Regardless of the arguments, Daer'dd would serve. Nor would he be the only Primarch present. Although ostensibly a trial, a variety of 'witnesses' would be given the chance to express their own views. Pionus, Azus, Jade, and Morro would all travel to this momentous trial. Joined them were other famed and powerful individuals across the spectrum of Imperial power. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4249198 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skalpynock Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Having Daer'dd as the prosecutor makes the battle of Iyacrax so much better. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4249576 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 We should have a pronunciation guide somewhere. I know for one that mine isn't pronounced normally. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4249581 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 Though there was a restriction on who could attend, its stands could not contain the multitude that came from the four corners of the galaxy. Members of the War Council, Mechanicum Adepts, Imperial commanders, gene-smiths, and countless others would take their seats, listening to every word over vox networks, and be given an opportunity to speak, if desired. The Emperor presided above them all from his loge, while Malcador would take his place on the trial floor. From opposing stands, Kozja and Dear'dd faced each other, Vizenko now relegated to a minor role. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4249988 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Captain Redd Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 We should have a pronunciation guide somewhere. I know for one that mine isn't pronounced normally. Daer'dd is pronounced ~ d air iD sort of like Jared. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4249993 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 Nice to know my mental pronunciation was on target. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4249999 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Captain Redd Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 Simison absolutely great work so far! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250002 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Squig Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 I'm sorry... Numeration: VIIIth Legion Primogenitor: Koschei Kharkovic Allegiance: Traitoris Perdita Cognomen (Prior): Godslayers. This name was not changed by the Primarch upon his discovery, instead he adapted to fit within the established traditions of the legion. Observed Strategic Tendencies: Diplomatic Missions, Psychic Suppression, Massed Orbital and Artillery Bombardments, Siege and Attrition warfare, Shock Assault, Strategic Decapitation Strikes, Massed Armoured Assaults. Noteworthy Domains: Zbruch and the surrounding Gladius system. The Godslayers – once a mighty legion, whose name and reputation shone through the bleak void of space. They exemplified the kindness and forgiveness of the Emperor, and were, it may be said, the future of humanity, their Primarch going as far as to earn the moniker the Light in the Darkness. It was not to last. Manipulated and tricked, the Primarch Koschei Kharkovic looked into the eyes of death and saw nought but another ally. This once proud legion was reborn, warped into monsters fighting under the banner of the Stormborn. Now their names and identities are twisted and misremembered in myths and nursery rhymes; mindless, traitorous villains acting out of spite and anger. Origins of the Godslayers As the Unification Wars on Terra drew to a close, the Emperor’s attentions began to spread to beyond the confines of the grey sky. To undertake his newfound expedition of conquest (aptly named the Great Crusade) he created the Legiones Astartes, armies of superhuman warriors created using the prototype Thunder Warriors as a springboard. The recruits for these new armies were drawn from all across Terra’s scorched surface. The Godslayers in particular hailed from conquered regions of the Nord Merican Ice Wastes. The largest of thes0e regions was inhabited by a tribe that called themselves the ‘Hunters of the Greatest Beast’. This tribe held ancient beliefs hailing back to far before the Dark Age of Technology, beliefs that detailed a Time Before, when one god had ruled over the world in peace. However, one of this god’s lieutenants had grown ambitious and attempted to seize power. He was cast out, coming tumbling down from the god’s sky-realm and crashing into the depths of the earth. Although he was presumed dead, the Hunters of the Greatest Beast believed that this fallen creature still lingered, and that it was their duty to find him and finish what their god had begun. This tribe was chosen as the primary recruitment pool for the newly born Eighth Legion due to the admirable resistance they put up against the Emperor’s ranks of Thunder Warriors. This tribe demonstrated incredible resolve, often fighting to the last man, even when outnumbered, simply to protect settlements or important areas from the Emperor’s wrath. And so it was, when he needed men to form the beginnings of his space marine legions, he looked to the lands of the Ice Wastes. The recruits, on the whole, accepted the VIIIth’s geneseed well, making the Godslayers one of the largest legions when the Emperor’s Great Crusade begun. Although many of the customs of the tribes were kept (including the name), the tribal leaders were purged on the Emperor’s order; they, after all, were the religious leaders of the tribes, and in the Emperor’s vision of humanity, religion had no place. Instead, the Emperor appointed one of his trusted advisors, a noble by the name Prometear Thyris (from whose heraldry the legion’s orange and grey scheme was derived), to command the legion. Thyris ruled the legion with an iron fist; not necessarily a bad thing, as he was able to beat out the unwanted customs that the tribesmen held on to. However, this draconian style of command also meant that Thyris allowed for no prisoners to be taken. In fact, before the discovery of their Primarch, the Godslayers had been taught to become merciless killers. Meanwhile, on the barren feudal world of Zbruch, a storm was brewing. To a couple living in a tiny hut, in a tiny town, a miracle was bestowed. The baby to be named Koschei, later the Primarch of the Emperor’s Eighth’s Space marine legion, landed in his pod in the street, and was claimed by Iosif Kharkovic, a smallholder living under the tyranny of the High Lord of Zbruch (a powerful psyker). Koschei was raised by his adopted family (which consisted of himself, his parents and a younger brother), and taught to follow in his father’s footsteps. As he aged, the young Primarch became the pride of his community, with word of his strength and wisdom travelling far and wide across the cold lands. This fame was to be his downfall, for rumours of the man with strength enough to lift whole houses managed to reach the ears of the Zbruchan aristocracy. The High Lord himself sought to discover for himself the truth about this mythical being; although the quiet hamlet in which Koschei had grown up had been fairly unaffected by the Lord’s jurisdiction, the story was different elsewhere, and the High Lord feared that a rebellion could surface. The disillusioned people had the will to rise up, but they lacked a leader. It was exactly that that the High Lord believed Koschei risked becoming. And so it was that troops and parades began passing through nearby towns. The locals noticed instantly this increase in activity, and feared the worst. Slowly, the High Lord’s soldiers drew ever closer to the Kharkovics and their quiet life of farming, until, one day, Iosif heard a knock at the door. The Lord himself and his officials greeted him, ordering the family to gather outside the house and killing Iosif when he attempted to resist. Koschei fought back as well but, being young and entirely untrained in the use of weapons, was overcome and dragged away, unconscious. When Koschei next awoke, he found himself in the chambers of the High Lord of Zbruch. The Lord was satisfied; the potential revolutionary had been neutralised. But he did not kill the Primarch. Instead, he saw potential within him, and trained him to fight. Soon, Koschei had become one of the most dangerous men on the planet. Koschei grew to despise the High Lord less; despite the murder of his father, he had provided Koschei with every luxury imaginable. Slowly, he began to forget his life before. Insert fluff here Despite the tension of their initial meeting, the Emperor and Koschei grew to get along well, the latter eventually being brought into the fold by the Great Crusade being put forward as not an act of war, but an effort to liberate humanity from its xenos overlords. Daer’dd earned Koschei’s respect, and the two of them became friends, often fighting together… (as far as I’ve gotten) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250375 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 First impressions: 1. Forgot 'Allegiance' 2. Need a quote. Doesn't have to be from a Primarch. 3. We need to convert Canada into a 30k name. Cadia is not an option, of course. :) 4. Need a title for the section covering Koschei and his rise on Zbruch. 5. You don't have anything written about the actual meeting between Koschei and the Emperor. 6. The religious allusions amuse me, I approve. Overall, it needs to be cleaned up, a couple of spelling/grammar errors but mostly it needs to be brought into proper HH book writing. That said, it's not going to take much work. This is a solid core you have here, Squig, good job. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250400 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 The Nord Merican Ice Wastes? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250402 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Squig Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 'Tis done, Slips Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250404 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 Squig, if you're willing, I can go ahead and clean up from the start to Koschei assuming command of his world (minus the quote). Then, I'll re-post it and see if it meets your approval. How does that sound? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250417 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Squig Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 Go ahead! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250419 Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted December 12, 2015 Author Share Posted December 12, 2015 I'll see if I can get it done today. For everyone else, I've added a progress report on the first post. Congrats! In less than two months, we've completed a whole chapter! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/315290-black-book-insurrection-published/page/16/#findComment-4250429 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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