Grifftofer Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 That is definitely something worth adding in somewhere. For the canon universe people can look things up, for our alternative universe we should probably put some of those things into the books somewhere at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelborn Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Man, that looks great! :D Tomorrow I will read and give you my thoughts about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Looking good Grifftofer ! I was wondering, would it be possible to use a different colour than Forge World's red ? To make the look of these books more distinctive ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hesh Kadesh Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 I'd rather not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikhalLeNoir Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 By the way, should we also include missions? Or specific battles were we set the armies up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talonair Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I think a separate book for Mechanicum/Dark Mec. forces would be best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 While some proclaimed the untapped potential of humanity as the underlying reason for gene-manipulation, the Jade General's outspoken support was to eliminate what he classified as the greatest threat to Mankind's survival. The menace he sought to cure was the psykers. Counting the times that a single witch had unleashed terrible disasters on the mundane citizen, the Jade General proposed that it was in the Imperium's best interest to gradually defeat it in a plan that spanned centuries. The key to peace was the creation of pariahs. The Jade General wished to create sustainable pariah populations on every planet, nullifying the damage a rogue psyker could inflict. In time, he foresaw all of humanity becoming pariahs, removing the threat of warpcraft for all time, while humanity developed another method of interstellar travel. Order and peace was what motivated the Jade General and his experiments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Alright, based on what I'm seeing here, we're going to separate the non-legion factions into their own books. I'll update the book outline and try to move from five books to four. Talonair, Kelborn, feel free to proceed at your own pace. I'll check in every now and then to see how it's coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelborn Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 As you command. B) I Kelborn vow to write an independent book about the tales of the Questoris Familia during the so called Icarion Insurrection, in the name of High Questor Uther Valcorian. This I vow in the name of the Emperor, the one true ruler of Mankind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphariusOmegon108 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Well Talonair and me will be working on the mech-specific book, maybe we can combine it with the knight book, as Im not sure two large mechancium factions, one that changes sides is enough to fill 150~200 pages Kelborn 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Knights and admech would go pretty well together in a single book. Id be tempted to add any auxilia or militia/cult units to it too to fill it up for more substance Call is: BotL: Auxiliary Forces of the Great Crusades Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelborn Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) I Kelborn accept the offer of AlphariusOmegon108, Talonair and Slipstreams to join forces in writing a book about the glorious tales of the Questoria Familia during the so called Icarion Insurrection! And the Mechanicum guys...and the imperial auxilia forces... Edited November 25, 2015 by Kelborn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skalpynock Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 And I order myself to help you guys, cause I have 13 10 regiments to write fluff about. Snippets these might be, but I want to make sure I write high-quality snippets. Kelborn 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Book 1 - Insurrection Lightning Bearers Iron Bears Grave Stalkers Godslayers The Drowned Scions Hospitaller Campaigns - Madrigal Purge, Death of the Bear, Underwater Madness (Pionus vs Morro) Book 2 - Corruption Berserkers of Uran Eagle Warriors Crimson Lions Void Eagles Ghost Walkers Godslayers & Grave Stalkers (Daemon) Campaigns - Blood Crusade (Berserkers/Eagle Warriors vs Crimson Lions/Iron Bears) The Astral Dance (Void Eagles vs. Stygian Jackels & Ghost Walkers [?]), The gods' Blessings (Kochei spreads the love, while K'awil adopts a new feathered patron) Note - Since going Daemon only involves a few rule updates and a unit or two, I think we safely say that they won't take up as much space as a full legion entry. Book 3 - Revolution Warbringers Warriors of Peace Dune Serpents Stygian Jackels Berserkers of Uran & Ghost Walkers (Daemon) Campaign - Alliance Broken (WoP/Warbringers vs Grave Stalkers), Renegades gone Rogue (Jackels go to the Eastern Fringe and battle the Dune Serpents for control), Horrors from the Warp (The Berserkers come back different, while the Ghost Walkers undergo metamorphosis) Book 4 - Absolution Halcyon Wardens Wardens of Light Fire Keepers Warriors of Peace & Warbringers (Gene-warriors) [?] Lightning Bearers & Eagle Warriors (Daemon) *Pionus' Wraithnight/Morro's Cthulhu entry? The Tide of Fire (Fire Keepers rally and advance against the Traitors), Science over Superstition (The Revolutionaries launch an invasion of Madrigal), The Final Battle/The Day of Wardens (Gwal rides as Alex defends the Emperor against a corrupted Icarion) Alright, here is the proposed revised book outline. There are still some questions floating out there, so I need some feedback before I can give this any kind of stamp of approval. Since the Abyssii are going to be part of their own book, I'd thought it more fitting for the Eagle Warriors to receive their spotlight during the Blood/Shadow Crusade. The Ghost Walkers are perhaps in the most awkward position since they need to be featured early on to show pre-fall legion. Hesh Kadesh and Kelborn 2 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 (edited) Grifft, I'm going through the PDF pages for the last pass. Found two errors so far: Unification Wars - 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: "When his the time of his conquest..." (One of these words needs to go.) 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: "...their thrones by the Emperors hand..." (Apostrophe needed) Lords of the Red Planet - 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: "...to an end with the Emperors conquest..." (Apostrophe) 5th paragraph, 5th sentence: "Reaching extending the hand of the diplomacy..." (A word needs to be deleted) Edited November 29, 2015 by simison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigismund229 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: his needs to go, not the. Lords of the Red Planet 5th paragraph, 5th sentence: Reaching needs to be deleted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Given the nature of the Drowned's preferred battlefield, it was perhaps natural for Morro to seek ways that would enhance his sons performance. Because no matter how well a man swims beneath the waves, what technology he employs to compensate, a man is a creature that was never born to be one with the water. Yet, it is there that the Drowned has always fought, to cleanse the galaxy's oceans of the Imperium's enemies. So it was, Morro added his voice to others that called for genetic manipulation. The public measures he proposed were modest in detail, but many suspected that once given the permission he sought, Morro would corrupt the purity of the human form to truly give his sons an edge within the oceans' depths, far out of sight from proper supervision. Brash Alexos' calls for more marines had led him to develop unsanctioned procedures to accelerate the growth of his legion. Always flitting with the thin line between obedience and disobedience, few were surprised to see the Emperor's son loudly proclaiming the need for more space marines to continue pushing the Great Crusade's lines ever outward. While careful to never outright challenge the Emperor's decrees, Alexos could often be heard explaining that there were other paths to augment the Imperium's military forces without waiting for geneseed implantation. Despite the source of these arguments, many Imperial Army commanders would quietly agree that more space marines would be a boon to the Imperium. While agreeing in principle with the temperament Jade General, Raktra approached the debate with far more bile-filled energy. He too wished to eliminate weakness, but he cared not for humanity. Instead, he envisioned his sons carrying the ability to see into the human body with naked eyes alone. The purpose was simple: locate an enemy's weakness and exploit it. Technology could break down, Raktra argued, but if he and his sons could detect with their naked senses, the enemies of the Imperium would meet death in rapid order. At the same time, Raktra wanted to purge his own of the weaknesses they carried. They would see their own weaknesses for themselves and eliminate them, presenting a more powerful legion than ever. Although he too pursued the same goals of his brothers, it was Kozja who rose above them to become the symbol for their cause. He saw the diversity of the eighteen legions and saw it as a hinderment to the Emperor's work. It would be better, Kozja reasoned, that the space marines resembled a cohesive whole instead of eighteen shards. To that end, he studied the geneseeds of his brothers' legions and set out to create a marine that encapsulated the strengths of all the legions in one. He was the one who earned the greatest acclaim, it was he who would stand in judgement when the Emperor set his sights on this divisive issue. [How'd I do?] Raktra, Kelborn and Hesh Kadesh 3 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigismund229 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Given the nature of the Drowned's preferred battlefield, it was perhaps natural for Morro to seek ways that would enhance his sons performance. Because no matter how well a man swims beneath the waves, what technology he employs to compensate, a man is a creature that was never born to be one with the water. Yet, it is there that the Drowned have always fought, in order to cleanse the galaxy's oceans of the Imperium's enemies. So it was that Morro added his voice to those that called for genetic manipulation. The public measures he proposed were minor in detail, but many suspected that once given the permission he sought, Morro would corrupt the purity of the human form to truly give his sons an edge within the oceans' depths, far out of sight of proper supervision. Alexos' brash calls for more marines had led him to develop unsanctioned procedures to accelerate the growth of his legion. Always walking the fine line between obedience and disobedience, few were surprised to see the Emperor's son loudly proclaiming the need for more space marines to continue pushing the Great Crusade's lines ever outward. While careful not to challenge the Emperor's decrees outright, Alexos could often be heard explaining that there were other paths to augment the Imperium's military forces without waiting for geneseed implantation. Despite the source of these arguments, many Imperial Army commanders would quietly agree that more space marines would be a boon to the Imperium. While agreeing in principle with the temperamental Jade General, Raktra approached the debate with far more venom-filled energy. He too wished to eliminate weakness, but he cared not for humanity. Instead, he envisioned his sons carrying the ability to see into the human body with naked eyes alone. The purpose was simple: locate an enemy's weakness and exploit it. Technology could break down, Raktra argued, but if he and his sons could detect with their senses, the enemies of the Imperium would meet death in rapid order. At the same time, Raktra wanted to purge his own of the weaknesses they carried. They would see their own weaknesses for themselves and eliminate them, presenting a more powerful legion than ever. Although he too pursued the same goals of his brothers, it was Kozja who rose above them to become the symbol for their cause. He saw the diversity of the eighteen legions and saw it as a hinderence to the Emperor's work. It would be better, Kozja reasoned, if the space marines resembled a cohesive whole instead of eighteen shards. To that end, he studied the geneseeds of his brothers' legions and set out to create a marine that encapsulated the strengths of all the legions in one. He was the one who earned the greatest acclaim, it was he who would stand in judgement when the Emperor set his sights on this divisive issue. Hesh Kadesh 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Heh, I wasn't expecting that. I was trying to see if I nailed down the personalities right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) Small note, my guys already do see into bodies, that's what they're using as their reasoning for the genetic stuff. "Oh, I see that you have unhealed bone damage on your rib-shield. That could prove unfortunate" etc.. Otherwise, many yeses. Edited November 30, 2015 by Raktra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 Small note, my guys already do see into bodies, that's what they're using as their reasoning for the genetic stuff. "Oh, I see that you have unhealed bone damage on your rib-shield. That could prove unfortunate" etc.. Otherwise, many yeses. Is it supposed to be a legion secret? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 ... Good point. simison 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skalpynock Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Your characterisation of Kozja is accurate. For comparison purpose, here's the first paragraph of my red segment for the Warbringers part of Revolution: Hidden Content Having had begun to augment humans since even before his reunification with his legion, Kozja Darzalas had spent months training on Luna, learning the arts of the Selenar gene-cults by order of the Emperor. He had been tasked to correct errors in the gene-seed of the XI and XVII legions, and succeeded in stabilizing them, although it would take their respective primarchs to rise their numbers to normal levels. Yet he felt that this wasn't enough. He had been repressed for criticizing the Astartes, Custodes and even the Primarchs – his own kin – as products of their time, the later years of the unification wars, and that the progress made since then allowed –required– new developments. His main proposal was to reduce the specialisation of gene-seed, removing the shortcomings of each to create the “true legion”, able to rival the Legio Custodes while retaining their proficiency as squads. simison 1 Back to top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 The Great Crusade: 5th paragraph, 2nd sentence - "...hundreds of human troops drafted..." (Troops should be replaced with regiments. Pretty sure the Imperial Army numbered in the billions, not hundreds.) Lords of the Imperium: 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence - "...were the greatest of general, tempered..." (Generals, more than one) 1st paragraph, 4th sentence - "As the Imperium's [borders] expanded farther and..." (Missing word) 2nd paragraph, 2nd to last sentence - "...the price was exterminates." (Either exterminatus or extermination would fix this.) 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence - "...sector governors, and commands were either elevated..." (Needs to be 'commanders') Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hesh Kadesh Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) Apologies, I'd missed the shout for Morro (or forgotten, one of the two, sorry!). Simison, genious. Thinking about it, I'd struggled to come up with something more appropriate, before I realised it doesn't need to be. Thank you for making that apparent. Edited November 30, 2015 by Hesh Kadesh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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