You know you're an Iron Hand when...

[Ordo Machinum]

...when you use nuln oil as a skin moisturizer.

 

...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"

[Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch]

...when you use nuln oil as a skin moisturizer.

...when you use nuln oil to grease your augmetic joints so you can move without your limbs seizing up.

[Saint_Michael]

 

...when you use nuln oil as a skin moisturizer.

...when you use nuln oil to grease your augmetic joints so you can move without your limbs seizing up.

 

 

When you'd bleed nuln oil, but you feel no pain.

[Machine God]

When you see the new FAQ's are up and Smash-Father can still be made with an arguement/discussion on the Relic wording.

 

https://www.warhammer-community.com/2017/01/20/faqs-for-every-codex-live-now/

 

Edit: Added linky.

Edited January 20, 2017 by Scion of Ferrus

[Bjorn Firewalker]

...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"

When you shout, "Suffer for your treason, Fulgrim!" at the potatoes as you hammer them (for mashed potatoes) or cut them (for French fries).

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When the Black Templars and the Adepta Sororitas need to integrate ranged and melee weapons into one FUNCTIONAL weapon, they come to YOU, the Champion with the storm bolter-flamer-chainfist combination weapon.

[Saint_Michael]

 

...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"

When you shout, "Suffer for your treason, Fulgrim!" at the potatoes as you hammer them (for mashed potatoes) or cut them (for French fries).

 

 

The purple potatoes specifically?

 

When you blame your missed shots on the omnissiah being appeased enough.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

 

When you blame your missed shots on the omnissiah being appeased enough.

An Iron Hand is more likely to blame enemy electronic warfare for jamming his fire control systems, and draw a melee weapon as he charges forth to bring the cowards within arm's reach. Edited February 2, 2017 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Your idea of "elevator music" is an ordnance weapon's roar as it "elevates" traitors, heretics, and xenos towards the heavens- in very small pieces.

 

Such "music" relaxes you like nothing else.

Edited February 17, 2017 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Saint_Michael]

When your go to date night music isn't 40k barry white, it's just "Get in the Zone, AutoZone..."  On repeat.

[Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch]

When you see more dreadnoughts walking through your clan fortress than you do living battle-brothers.

 

When your apothecary looks more like your average-run-of-the-mill tank-grade medic than an Astartes-grade medic.

 

When you own more dreadnought models than infantry models.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

You do not cook your meals with toaster and microwave, but with flamer and meltagun.

 

Said "meals" are the brains of the Imperium's enemies. Know the enemy, so you may fight them with greater efficiency.

[ChapterMasterYed]

When the lowest "toughness" on your roster is Av 12.

[Memento Of Prospero]

Awesome to see my dreadnought pop up on here ;)

 

... when you have enough dead Emperor's children on your bases to make a demi company!

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you "Bolster Defenses" by lashing the corpses of Death Guard, Emperor's Children, Iron Warriors, Night Lords, Thousand Sons, Word Bearers, World Eaters, Alpha and Black Legions Traitors to their war machines' burning wrecks, to build fortifications. Edited November 14, 2018 by Bjorn Firewalker

[ChapterMasterYed]

When many witnesses attest that your boss got his head chopped off, but you are pretty sure he has just been on vacation for a few thousand years. Edited March 26, 2017 by ChapterMasterYed

[Saint_Michael]

When you know for a fact a dead xenos is a happy xenos.

[ChapterMasterYed]

You think Peter Pan did Captain hook a favor by chopping off his hand, so he could get an old school "bionic" upgrade.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

You think Peter Pan did Captain hook a favor by chopping off his hand, so he could get an old school "bionic" upgrade.

An Iron Hand undoubtedly expects Hook to have the courage to amputate his own hand, and berate the pirate for whining about how painful the experience was.

 

Hook's fear of the Croc is another minus- the Iron Hands fear no beast, Terran or xeno!

 

Not that Peter Pan will be loved. The child consorts with Warp entities (fairies) and mutants (mermaids), and he acts too much like the cowardly sons of Corax!

[40Kcollector]

When the Doctor has given up trying to convince you remove the metal pin in a bone in your body because you keep yelling "THE FLESH IS WEAK!"

[Machine God]

When you notice on the new Galaxy Map that Medusa has disappeared and upon reading that deduce that its still there but there's a BIG Battle going on!

[Saint_Michael]

When you're Iron Hands successor chapter does a Haka to scare the ever living F*** out of every enemy around...

This was a distraction for the tri-vindicator pie plate that just landed on their heads, and the two dreadnaughts that landed in their back yards.  

[40Kcollector]

When you can only roll 1s and 2s for IH reinforcements until all the allied Imperial Guard are wiped from the table, then they come on!

And you call it the statistics of war strategy

Edited May 26, 2017 by 40Kcollector

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When your idea of a "Primaris Marine" is a Contemptor Dreadnought with reinforced armor (higher Toughness, more Wounds) and a carapace-mounted Cyclone missile launcher.

 

Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it IS broke- Guilliman's new toys find themselves outgunned and outfought- then Ferrus Manus' sons will be the only ones capable of fixing it.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When the second thing you think of upon wakeup (after "How can I better serve the Emperor and Ferrus Manus?") is "What cybernetic enhancements do I require to wield

in battle?"

 

When you learn it requires you to be interred in a Dreadnought sarcophagus, you shrug and say, "The pain is a small price to pay for the glory of continued service to the Emperor." (Seriously,

looks like a Redemptor Dreadnought.)