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You know you're an Iron Hand when...


Bjorn Firewalker
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...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"

When you shout, "Suffer for your treason, Fulgrim!" at the potatoes as you hammer them (for mashed potatoes) or cut them (for French fries).

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"

When you shout, "Suffer for your treason, Fulgrim!" at the potatoes as you hammer them (for mashed potatoes) or cut them (for French fries).

 

 

The purple potatoes specifically?

 

When you blame your missed shots on the omnissiah being appeased enough.

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When you blame your missed shots on the omnissiah being appeased enough.

An Iron Hand is more likely to blame enemy electronic warfare for jamming his fire control systems, and draw a melee weapon as he charges forth to bring the cowards within arm's reach. Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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When you see more dreadnoughts walking through your clan fortress than you do living battle-brothers.

 

When your apothecary looks more like your average-run-of-the-mill tank-grade medic than an Astartes-grade medic.

 

When you own more dreadnought models than infantry models.

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When you "Bolster Defenses" by lashing the corpses of Death Guard, Emperor's Children, Iron Warriors, Night Lords, Thousand Sons, Word Bearers, World Eaters, Alpha and Black Legions Traitors to their war machines' burning wrecks, to build fortifications. Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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You think Peter Pan did Captain hook a favor by chopping off his hand, so he could get an old school "bionic" upgrade.

An Iron Hand undoubtedly expects Hook to have the courage to amputate his own hand, and berate the pirate for whining about how painful the experience was.

 

Hook's fear of the Croc is another minus- the Iron Hands fear no beast, Terran or xeno!

 

Not that Peter Pan will be loved. The child consorts with Warp entities (fairies) and mutants (mermaids), and he acts too much like the cowardly sons of Corax!

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When you're Iron Hands successor chapter does a Haka to scare the ever living F*** out of every enemy around...

This was a distraction for the tri-vindicator pie plate that just landed on their heads, and the two dreadnaughts that landed in their back yards.  

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When you can only roll 1s and 2s for IH reinforcements until all the allied Imperial Guard are wiped from the table, then they come on!

And you call it the statistics of war strategy

Edited by 40Kcollector
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When your idea of a "Primaris Marine" is a Contemptor Dreadnought with reinforced armor (higher Toughness, more Wounds) and a carapace-mounted Cyclone missile launcher.

 

Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it IS broke- Guilliman's new toys find themselves outgunned and outfought- then Ferrus Manus' sons will be the only ones capable of fixing it.

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When the second thing you think of upon wakeup (after "How can I better serve the Emperor and Ferrus Manus?") is "What cybernetic enhancements do I require to wield

in battle?"

 

When you learn it requires you to be interred in a Dreadnought sarcophagus, you shrug and say, "The pain is a small price to pay for the glory of continued service to the Emperor." (Seriously,

looks like a Redemptor Dreadnought.)
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