You know you're an Iron Hand when...

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you learn the Black Templars have 5000 Dreadnoughts, you declare, "This will not stand!" and build an army with 10,000 Dreadnoughts- and 10,000 Techmarines to serve them.

 

What's that, pansy Ultramarine? Our numbers are in excess of Codex-mandated limits? I see you're weak in mind as well as body. A Dreadnought is a vehicle, not a Marine; the interred hero now counts as a vehicle component, not an independent Marine; the Techmarines count as support staff instead of frontline combatants, meaning they aren't included among the Codex-mandated census, anyways.

 

Now be silent and step aside as we Sons of Ferrus Manus go forth to crush the enemy.

[rendingon1+]

Can you confirm this 5000 dreasnought imformation with a source?

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Can you confirm this 5000 dreasnought imformation with a source?

Sadly, no; it's from a joke I posted in You know you're a Black Templar when...., regarding rumors there are 6000 Templars.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you can beat any and all Space Wolves in any and all drinking contests, putting entire Claws (Space Wolves Squads) under the table.

 

Augmetic livers and kidneys are such wonderful things.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Every time someone mistakes the loyal Iron Hands for the traitorous Iron Warriors, and vise versa, you must put something in the Swear Vault- not a Swear Jar, as no mere jar will ever accommodate what you must put in.

 

What do you put in? The severed head of an Iron Warriors member, of course- preferably with an expression of utter terror and/or agony frozen upon the traitor's face.

[Iron Father Ferrum]

Honestly, it's far more likely in my experience to be Black Templars or Raven Guard that my army is mistaken for. Still infuriating, of course.

[robofish7591]

Clearly the only solution to this problem is to add more bionics!

[Iron Father Ferrum]

I've gotten to the point where I shrug my shoulders and let them belabor under their mis-identification until I start rolling FNP or pop Machine Empathy.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you have no need to justify having Adeptus Titanicus Imperial Knights "count as" Iron Hands Marines. To a son of Ferrus Manus, there is no difference, anyways. Edited September 12, 2018 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you learn the Emperor can summon dead Imperial loyalists' spirits- including that of Ferrus Manus- to fight for him, you deduce the Primarch is a member of the Legion of the Damned, for not even death will stop him from serving his Father. You then kitbash an army of Legion of the Damned Dreadnoughts, to prove the Iron Hands' loyalty.

 

Legion of the Damned (former Iron Hands) Dreadnought: "Not even a SECOND DEATH will stop us from serving our father! For Manus and the Emperor!"

Edited September 17, 2018 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When an event calls for "formal clothing," you arrive wearing Cataphractii pattern Tactical Dreadnought Armor.

 

When you're asked to dance, you're proficient enough to do so- still clad in the complete set of Cataphractii pattern Tactical Dreadnought Armor.

 

The bridesmaids were certainly surprised.

[Iron Father Ferrum]

I challenge you to paint an Iron Hand Terminator as a tuxedo.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I challenge you to paint an Iron Hand Terminator as a tuxedo.

I think I should use a certain tuxedo-wearing Secret Intelligence Service agent as the inspiration for an Iron Hands successor. "Iron Unicorns" (after the heraldic symbol for Scotland, James Bond's birthplace)?

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Your idea of a "Space Marine Scout" is the high explosive shell your Earthshaker cannon fired at a suspected enemy location. If the enemy returns fire, you found him; if not, you finished him. (Seriously, Guilliman's idea of "Space Marine Scouts" CANNOT scout, as they lack the experience to know what to look for.) Edited April 14, 2020 by Bjorn Firewalker

[brÖtherIrön]

When the best part of a tedious match is getting relevant 6+ rolls and make you cheer double 6+ rolls on your warlord/characters since Medusan heroes have no time to bleed! Edited October 19, 2018 by Iron Father Ferrum
Keep it family friendly

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When other people propose playing heavy metal music as Astartes war songs, you're never content to simply sing along- no, you feel the need to forge your own steel drums, and play your forged instruments to an appropriate tune.

 

The manufactory has no steel to spare, as what it has must be recycled to meet demands for war materiel? No problem- a ceramite drum, forged from the breastplates of Emperor's Children and Iron Warriors traitors, will suffice.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you can say, "There's no such thing as too many Dreadnoughts," without scorn or irony.

[Iron Father Ferrum]

When you can say, "There's no such thing as too many Dreadnoughts," without scorn or irony.

Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress, try the veal.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you buy dozens of Techmarine and Thunderfire cannon with Techmarine gunner models, only to assemble them as Lieutenants and Sergeants.

 

Why? You want the Techmarines' servo-harnesses, which you'll mount on your flyer and tank squadrons' Command vehicles- as for the Thunderfire cannons, they'll be shoehorned into the tanks' turret rings, into the Stormravens' noses and/or the Stormhawks' bellies- then you write Special Rules allowing your Command vehicles to repair themselves and other vehicles in their squadrons.

 

The Ork Big Meks can consume their own hearts in envy at Ferrus Manus' sons' technological supremacy.

[Saint_Michael]

When you hear of ancient terran tales of a technologically enhanced species called 'borg', and consider them a good start.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

When you watch the Mad Max movies, you don't think, "What hunks of junk!" when you see the ground vehicles. You think, "The vehicle modifications are incompetently executed. Medusa is a death world comparable to the one in this film, but we never abused our technology the way its characters do. The concepts behind the vehicle modifications, on the other hand..."

 

Result? Taking inspiration from this:

You build Rhinos and Rhino variants with two sets of tracks, looking like this:

Taking inspiration from this:

You mount dozer blades on your Land Raiders, allowing them to clear obstacles; servo-arms, allowing the venerable vehicles to self-repair; and howdahs (see the Volkswagen Beetle chassis cut in half and mounted atop the War Rig's trailer, to serve as a gun emplacement), allowing embarked passengers to shoot at targets of opportunity.

 

And you write Stats and Special Rules for your custom vehicles, allowing them to move faster, hit harder when ramming, and take hits better (higher Toughness).

Edited February 26, 2019 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Bjorn Firewalker]

You shoehorn a Dreadnought sarcophagus into the cockpit of a Warlord Titan you painted in Legion- I mean CHAPTER colors.

 

And you shoehorn another two sarcophagi into the cockpits of the Reaver pattern Dreadnoughts escorting your Warlord pattern Dreadnought on the battlefield, and four sarcophagi into the Warhound pattern Dreadnoughts serving as scouts for those three, and...

Edited December 7, 2018 by Bjorn Firewalker

[Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch]

...when you realize the reason you’ll never get a special character is because our clan council organization is superior to the chapter masters all other chapters have.

 

(Still doesn’t make it less hurt less, though)

[RandomMarine]

When you smile knowingly at your display case having seen the redemptor price drops. Culln the Risen with the +1 to ap warlord trait 3 redemptors and a double falls leviathan gunline is gonna be dirty. Might even use the indomitus vets detachment to buff the intercessors troops

[Kinstryfe]

When you swear to limit yourself to 1,000 Astartes, but you insist the bionics mean you count in fractions.

 

When you lose your head over every little thing.

 

When you join the Deathwatch just for a break from peer pressure to get more bionics.

 

When you can't tell the difference between the sacred nutrient paste or the sacred oil anymore.