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  • 2 weeks later...

I think that the Castigators are a very interesting chapter, and the IA article is good enough to punt over to the archives for future reference when the thread finally goes cold.

 

I noticed the changes you made after our discussions - was that really before Christmas? - and with every iteration it gets better.

 

One thing that still makes me wonder is about the homeworld. Like Mordian and my own DIY homeworld, Mycenae, Losanco Secundus is one permanently divided into a light side and a dark side. Now the apporach of our homeworlds is significantly far apart to keep them distinct, but needless to say I have been thinking about how my planet would work, and I wondered about how you approached it.

 

First up, how does the ecosystem work? Mycenae is lightly populated around the terminator, the only place where any plants can grow, and is at heart an Inquisitorial and marine outpost where things like food and supplies can be grown in hydroponic vats, in the thin strip of arid land capable of supporting crops, or shipped in from off-world. As a low-tech, feudal world, how do the relatively backward people of Losanco get food when the light is shunned and associated with mutation and impurity.

 

How else do they deal with the darkness and cold? Is there vulcanism or promethium close to the surface that they can tap for warmth and light? Have the darksiders become self-sufficient in some way, or do they get essentials brought in from imperial / Ministorum / Astartes contacts and traders from offworld?

 

Has the population adapted to life in near-darkness, and if they have, how do they fare or adapt when they have to make their way into what to them would be the blinding light levels on the dayside to purge the muties?

 

As well as being a duty the crusades into the dayside seem to have become the trial by which the new aspirants are unknowingly tested. Have the Castigators over the millenia skewed things to help their selection procedures? By casting it as a rite of passage into manhood a group of potential aspirants would have to go off into the light without the overshadowing presence of an adult chieftain... How they cope with experiences outwith anything they have ever encountered, fight savage beasts (mutants) and learn to lead their brothers could be seen as an analogy to what it is to be an astartes as well as the perfect way for the Castigators to observe their potential as aspirants.

 

 

One of the things I like about the article is how the Chapter theme is carried through it, and stops it simply being an assorted random checklist of otherwise unrelated sections. Good glue. :ph34r:

 

On that subject, From the IA, and from speaking to you about Fautor, the defining character seems to be an almost anal retentive attention to perfection and purity, arrogance / the quiet belief that they are plainly superior to other marines, and that the mission is the most important thing. Would this be correct? If so, it might be interesting to add more of this kind of thing, even to the extent of it being a 'flaw'... like Lady MacBeth constantly washing her hands to get rid of the blood, or in this case the taint of coming so close to the corrupting forces of chaos they were created to fight... :D Not necessarily OCD, but perhaps a hint of underlying tension between duty and revulsion... :blink:

 

The chapter seems to have little in the way of armoured vehicles, preferring to utilise Dreadnoughts instead - Castigators battle-forces have been observed to use far more Dreadnoughts than most chapters. This is in part because chapter reveres these warriors for the heroic deeds they achieved in life, and also because they echo the Emperor Himself - their bodies are shattered but still they continue to fight the enemies of Humankind. Their courage, determination and tenacity are an example which every marine in the chapter strives to emulate. The ancient warriors encased within these sarcophagi can prove devastating on the field, and company Captains often seek their counsel before committing their forces.

 

This seems an important part of the Chapter's character which I think would be nice to explore how this section could tie in closer with the wider theme..

 

- Why has this preference for Dreads over vehicles occurred?

- Why do they have more dreads than other chapters? Where do they get them from?

- Does the lower number of vehicles just mean they have few preds, vindicators and whirlies, or does it extend to transport vehicles like the Rhino / razorback and the LR / LRC? Either way, it would have a major effect on the fighting style of the chapter which would be interesting to explore more.

 

It should be easy to tie in the reverence of dreads to their lack of librarians... in a sense the dreads almost become walking repositories and fonts of the chapter's tactical and historical wisdom.

 

 

I like the new pic of the chaplain at the start of the article... well done on getting such good artists to work for you. :lol:

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One way the darksiders could get energy and so forth is this: if the light side is sufficently hot it would create a very large imbalance in air pressure compared to the dark side. This would probably create strong winds that would equalize the temperature somewhat and could provide the darksiders with power for hydroponic vats or other food production. Two birds with one stone <_<
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Well, I still have a little to fiddle with on it, so hopefully it'll be a little while before it gets sent over to the archives.

 

I was aware of Mordian, but I actually wrote IA: Castigators before finding out about Mycenae (It would have been easier if there was an IA: Scions, huh? :P )

 

To be honest, planetary ecosystems aren't my fort

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I guess that in a sense the lifestyle of the Losancans has been poorly thought-out. I don't want them to become the stereotypical pale poor-sighted mole-man type of dark-worlder. I don't exactly know how to combat that, though.

 

You could give the planet several large moons that shed enough light so see by. On a full moon here on earth, you can actually see surprisingly well. Several such moons would make it really dim but not exactly dark, and the movements of the moons could create some interesting patterns of dark and not-quite-so-dark.

 

Also, depending on other environmental conditions, various molds and such could grow naturally in the dark, particularly if it wasn't particularly cold (Tubal's theory would explain that). Perhaps the inhabitants are vegetarian? If they ate naturally occuring or easily cultivated mold or fungus, they could retain their primative nature and not have to rely on hydroponics or imports.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Something I'm fiddling with, that I'd like your opinions on:

 

Like the majority of Space Marine chapters, the Castigators honour ancient pacts with the Adeptus Mechanicus that stretch back millennia to their very founding. Those amongst the Castigators with an affinity for technology are dispatched to Mars, where they are initiated into the Martian tech-cults. This is acknowledged as a necessary process - without the techmarines, the Adeptus Astartes would be left unable to tend to the machine spirits, to observe the rites that ensure continued operation of their wargear, or to repair damage taken on the field of battle.

 

But the process comes at a lamentable price - the loss of battle-brothers to the worship of the Omnissiah. The techmarines are mysterious and capricious, aloof and distant. Their inscrutable ways are not easily understood by most of the battle-brethren. Indeed, some factions among the chapter distrust the techmarines. To them, the worship of the Omnissiah is at best dangerous, and at worse heretical. It is a duty of the Chapter Master to ensure that these ideological tensions are defused and that no blood is spilt.

 

It is said that some of the Castigators' techmarines struggle to resolve the differences between their chapter's creed and the dictates of the Liber Mechanicus. These tortured souls keep their distance from their beloved battle-brothers that hate them so, seeking solace among the lobotomised servitors and the machine-spirits that inhabit the chapter's equipment.

 

I'd be very interested to hear what you think of it.

Edited by Commissar Molotov
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Emo Techmarines? :tu: :lol:

 

Don't see anything that wrong with it. I'm not sure that there'd be a major theological struggle with Techmarines worshipping the Omnissiah. Marines don't really hold to the pretext that the Emperor is a God, and it's the struggle between Emperor and Omnissiah that would cause the most anguish. It'd mainlu conflict with the personality Cult of their Primarch, which the Chaplains wouldn't be happy about for sure. But re-reading your IA, I see that they're a Monodominant Chapter, so I suppose they see the Emperor as more than just a Man. It'd be interesting to expand upon it futher, maybe introduce some named characters that highlight and define the internal struggles in the Chapter. Like, maybe, a particular Chaplain assigned to the Scouts who perhaps goes a little too far in their indocronation against False Gods, and lets slip with something about the Omnissiah.

 

Just an idea. It's great to see this quality of IA back in the Liber.

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I have to agree with Dasleah on this one. Reclusive tech-marines and 'regular' marines that want nothing to do with them or their machine-god seem to be common in many chapters.

 

If your chapter saw the Emperor as a divine being, instead of just the master of mankind, that might add a bit more spice to the equation. On one side of a room you have the zealous Emperor-worshipping marines, and on the other you have a handful of tech-marines praying to the Omnissiah.

 

Is there open resentment toward the tech-marines? Have there ever been incidents where physical violence erupted? How often does stuff like this occur? Do the tech-marines do anything other than avoid the others, like make their own unofficial unions and such? If the battle-brothers resent the tech-marines so much, would they prefer to repair and take care of their battle gear and armor themselves?

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Without seeming to realise it, I seemed to have steered the Castigators into a direction where they seem to follow the basic tenets of the Ecclesiarchal religion. It's not something I intended - but it is characterful. The Emperor as a heroic saviour is something I always intended. In a sense the Emperor is a Jesus-like figure - he died so that the Imperium might continue. That sort of sacrifice is something that the Castigators embody, and I like that. Tubal has even suggested that I replace the Ultramarines-esque 'laurel wreath' iconography with a 'wreath of thorns/crown of thorns' idea. It's an interesting idea.

 

As to whether the Emperor is a god? I don't know. I never intended for the Castigators to believe that - but it seems to be where they're heading. I mean... the Castigators are vehement monodominants. Anything not pure-bred human will be ground to dust beneath the might of the Imperium. They pay due respect to Roboute Guilliman - but the Emperor? I hadn't considered him to be a God.

 

The Castigators have a very strict, very black-and-white belief system, on the whole. And to some of the Castigators, it's very easy to see the Adeptus Mechanicus in a negative light. They're shadowy, mysterious. They have something to hide. In many senses the Adeptus Mechanicus is not a part of the Imperium at all - it's an entirely seperate empire, allied to the Imperium because it serves their purpose. And having a techmarine - a card-carrying member of the machine-cult - in their midst is something that they can't countenance.

 

It's been said before that marines are just like ordinary humans. There's big ones, small ones. Clever ones and short-sighted ones. Not all of them have the exact same carbon-copy opinion. There are more zealous marines, and less zealous marines. As such, it's not hard to believe that some might see the Adeptus Mechanicus as a threat. The Castigators are fanatics - with all the benefits and disadvantages that entails.

 

So I could see that a techmarine might have a major theological struggle, in a sense. I mean, the techmarines will have been inducted into the monodominant chapter-cult, where all heretics are to be crushed without a second thought. And they've been sent to the Adeptus Mechanicus, where they're initiated into the worship of the Omnissiah. Now, I could see that some Techmarines would easily be able to justify the conflict, by saying that the Omnissiah is the Emperor. However, perhaps some are a little more conflicted? I don't know. I thought it might be something characterful. A slightly darker side of the Castigators.

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Interesting thought.

 

But would the population that are struggling with the conflict be small? It reads like the rest of the Chapter - at best - considers them compromised. If the Techmarines are a dangerous, but necessary evil, to have within the ranks then I see it as more of a problem for the Chapter.

 

But you are right - it is characterful.

 

:angry:

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Perhaps you could introduce some sort of ceremony whenever a Marine is sent to Mars for training. A sort of ritual funeral, whereby the Marine is for all intent and purposes, dead, and in his place will come a subjucated heretic (the Techmarine). The Forge would be a solemn and dark place, and the Chapter would see it as defiled ground. One of your reserve companies (or at least one of the ones kept to guard the Frotress) could be a ceremonial watch-dog against the Forge, keeping an eye on the Techmarines and ensuring that their blasphemy is used to crush the enemies of Man, rather than for the foul intents of their Omnissiah.
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You could extend the Chapter's focus on purity to make it tabboo to deal with the dead, reflecting several cultures of the modern world. The Techmarines could go through a "ritual death" in order to deal with the Chapter's dead entombed in Dreadnoughts, and with the "dead" machines (Effectively only the dead may touch the dead). That would allow the Castigators to maintain their purity while avoiding tainting themselves as the Techmarines do. Edited by Darrell
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but the Emperor? I hadn't considered him to be a God.
He doesn't have to be a god to be the highest being. If the Castigators are atheists, ie don't believe in any god, they could easily see worship of an actual god as threatening.

 

The funeral for the tech-marines is an interesting idea too. They could form an untouchable caste within the chapter, isolated to prevent them from tainting their pure brothers. You have to think of some benefit for the techies too though, or nobody would want to become one B)

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  • 2 months later...

I would appreciate it very much if you could lend your eyes (and brains) to this, the latest draft of IA: Castigators, edited for clarity, but also based on some insightful comments sent my way by several Liber-ites recently. I'm hoping that with the new crowd of Liber-ites, I can get some useful comments on the Castigators.

 

Thank you for your time. :P

 

 

------------------------------

 

The Castigators

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/2555/castigatorbadge9yf.jpg

 

Origins

The Imperium, some say, is built upon secrets and lies. Official records can at times be exceptionally malleable - the powerful and influential manipulating history to their advantage. Records can be lost or misplaced with exceptional ease. It would seem that the records of the thirteenth founding, the so-called 'Dark Founding' have been lost, the events disappearing into a dimly-remembered past. Few now know exactly what transpired during this period of Imperial history, and those who do seem unwilling to divulge their secrets.

 

Whatever happened, when the High Lords of Terra initiated the Fourteenth Founding, the Adeptus Mechanicus painstakingly used every means at their disposal to ensure the genetic purity of the naescent chapters. Only the purest gene-stock was utilised - an almost excessively paranoid measure. One of the newly-created chapters became known as the 'Castigators'. It would become evident over the following millennia that the focus upon genetic purity had deeply marked the young chapter.

 

The Castigators drew their lineage from Roboute Guilliman of the Ultramarines. Pure in mind and body, the new Chapter Master, Baraquiel, swore grave oaths to purify the Galaxy and punish the unclean. Collecting the weapons, armour and material neccessary to honour that oath, the Castigators boarded their fleet and headed deep into the Ultima Segmentum. This heralded the start of an arduous campaign as the Castigators sought to prove their worth.

 

Homeworld

After one hundred and eighty-one years of campaigning, the Castigators discovered the world of Losanco Secundus. The planet was relatively small and insignificant, too close to the sun to be easily habitable. The only remarkable feature was that the time the planet took to rotate on its axis and the time it took to orbit the system's star were exactly the same. This odd situation meant one half of the planet was shrouded in perpetual darkness and cold whilst the other was bathed in permanent sunlight and debilitating radiation. But such astrophysical phenomena were of little concern to the Space Marines - until, that is, signs of life were discovered upon the planet's surface.

 

It appeared that millennia previously, an explorator craft sent from Holy Terra had crash-landed upon the planet, leaving the crew to fend for themselves. Their descendents survived on the dark-side, struggling against the elements for survival. Moonlight provided the only illumination and food was grown in areas where streams of warm air escaped the light-side. Much of the society survived in caves with the last vestiges of the Explorator ship's technology.

 

The bright-side was an arid, desolate landscape. Those cursed humans who lived there were mutated almost beyond recognition, barely surviving by preying upon the dark-siders - and each other. The bravest dark-siders would band together to repulse the mutant scavengers, occasionally leading preemptive strikes against the light-side.

 

The dark-siders had grown to hate the mutants, nurturing an almost instinctive loathing for imperfection and disease. Malformed babies were suffocated by their own mothers rather than be allowed to survive. Those that displayed burgeoning psychic powers were brutally murdered by their own families.

 

The planet's dichotomy between light and dark, and the population's eternal fight against corruption struck a chord in Baraquiel's soul. He was convinced these hardy people could well be potential Castigators. He ordered rigorous tests to confirm their genetic purity and then oversaw the creation of a base upon the planet's moon.

 

The marines came to be seen as furious angels, ferocious emissaries of an ever-watchful God-Emperor. The Castigators, fully aware of native legends, fostered them, simply because they engendered a lasting hatred of the mutant. The Castigators carefully watched the battles between the mutants and the dark-siders. Any young boys who fought well were inducted by the Castigators, to join the battle against evil elsewhere.

 

The Fortress-Monastery of the Castigators became known as 'The Sanctuary'. It was buried deep within the moon of Losanco Secundus. Here all the marines of the chapter trained, trophies and battle honours were displayed and the sacred sepulchres housing the dead were kept.

 

A large-portion of the Fortress-Monastery was given over to places of worship; The Castigators are a deeply pious chapter and to this day each company maintains a chapel. These are extensive structures, easily capable of housing the company in full wargear. They provide a facility for prayer, worship and introspection, but also a detailed account of the Company's legacy of war. Campaign banners and company standards drape the walls; the armour and accoutrements of long-dead heroes remain on display to exhort the living to greater exploits.

 

Combat Doctrine

The Castigators fight as one would expect from a successor of the Ultramarines; by following the dictates of the Codex Astartes as laid out by Roboute Guilliman himself. The Chapter is a flexible military force, easily capable of responding to the changing environment of the battlefield.

 

Prayer is important to the Castigators, helping to clear the mind and reaffirm vows of faith. Before battles, Castigators usually join in prayer. The higher ranks of the chapter, especially Captains and Chaplains, are able orators and put those skills to good use rousing a righteous fury in the hearts and minds of those beneath them.

 

As battle is joined, icons of faith and sacred standards are held aloft and then planted into the ground, the chapter vowing not to take a single step backwards. It is this unflinching bravery that has inspired the Collegiate Strategos to pay the Castigators tribute, acknowledging them as one of the finest examples of the Imperial maxim 'death before dishonour'.

 

The Castigators prefer to fight to the last man rather than countenance defeat. Whilst they have been recorded to retreat on occasion - always with a heavy heart - battles against the Castigators are always bloody and hard-fought.

 

The Space Marines of the Adeptus Astartes are precious resources, however, and are never squandered or used lightly. In order to ensure the chapter does not waste their warriors, the commanders astutely pick their battles, rather than single-mindedly charing to a sudden death.

 

Organisation

For the most part, the Castigators adhere to the Codex Astartes, although certain adjustments have been made over the millennia. The chapter is divided into ten companies; the first consists of the veteran cadre, the most skilled warriors of the Castigators. The chapter's twenty suits of precious Terminator armour are attached to this company, the other warriors donning power armour. The first company rarely fighs together; it is instead dispersed among the other companies so that the bulk of the chapter can benefit from their leadership, skill and experience.

 

The second, third, fourth and fifth companies are the battle comapnies, each with a mixture of tactical, assault and devastator marines. It has been stated by some observers that the Castigators rely heavily upon dreadnoughts. Whilst they do not deploy them in greater numbers than any other chapter, it is said the Castigators revere these ancient warriors for the heroic deeds they achieved in life and in death. Though their bodies are shattered, they continue to fight the enemies with courage, determination and tenacity, mirroring the Emperor's sacrifice and internment within the Golden Throne. It is an example that the rest of the chapter strives to emulate. Company Captains regularly seek the counsel of their honoured brothers before committing their forces.

 

The sixth and seventh companies comprise the chapter's tactical reserves; the eighth and ninth are assault and devastator reserve companies, respectively. The tenth company, the scout company, is small when compared to other chapters of the Adeptus Astartes. This is due to the extremely thorough recruitment processes utilised by the Castigators. The scouts are distributed between the battle comapnies to act as skirmishers and reconaissance troops.

 

Although the Castigators originally utilised Librarians like most Ultramarines successors, this practice stopped after their settlement at Losanco Secundus. Because the populace ferociously eliminates psykers from their midst, the chapter operates without Librarians. Because of this, the responsibility of keeping a record of the chapter's history is given laid upon the shoulders of every battle-brother. Each of the Castigators' marines undertakes a period of service in the chapter's Librarium once every decade. There they work to duplicate ancient texts and also to pass on the stories of the Castigators' past.

 

These marines record the chapter's history, recounting tales of battles fought throughout the millennia, and learning lessons from the actions of others. This practice also allows every battle-brother to be intimately familiar with the chapter's history of warfare.

 

Like the majority of Space Marine chapters, the Castigators honour ancient pacts with the Adeptus Mechanicus that stretch back millennia to their very founding. Those amongst the Castigators with an affinity for technology are dispatched to Mars, where they are initiated into the Martian tech-cults. This is acknowledged as a necessary process - without the techmarines, the Adeptus Astartes would be left unable to tend to the machine spirits, to observe the rites that ensure continued operation of their wargear, or to repair damage taken on the field of battle.

 

But the process comes at a lamentable price - the loss of battle-brothers to the worship of the Omnissiah. The techmarines are mysterious and capricious, aloof and distant. Their inscrutable ways are not easily understood by most of the battle-brethren. Indeed, some factions among the chapter distrust the techmarines. To them, the worship of the Omnissiah is at best dangerous, and at worse heretical. It is a duty of the Chapter Master to ensure that these ideological tensions are defused and that no blood is spilt.

 

It is said that some of the Castigators' techmarines struggle to resolve the differences between their chapter's creed and the dictates of the Liber Mechanicus. These tortured souls keep their distance from their beloved battle-brothers that hate them so, seeking solace among the lobotomised servitors and the machine-spirits that inhabit the chapter's equipment.

 

In memory of their auspicious founding, every fourteen years those companies not currently engaged in battle meet at the Sanctuary. Battle-brothers, comrades and friends are allowed to meet and honour their successes together. Great trophies are brought back to the fortress monastery and relics are paraded in front of the assembled marines.Each and every dreadnought in the chapter is awoken and prayer services are held to honour the fallen, to remember the great moments of the chapter's history and to reaffirm oaths of loyalty, piety and faith.

 

These ceremonies last for fourteen days and then the chapter disperses once more to where they are needed to continue the protection of the Imperium of Man. Neophytes inducted into the chapter during this two-week period are seen as blessed and are usually predicted to become great warriors.

 

Beliefs

The harsh lifestyle of Losanco Secundus's people ensures that they are strong, used to hardship and skilled at hunting and destroying deviants and mutants. The chapter fosters this intolerance for mutants in its recruits, regarding them as an abomination against the Emperor, to be exterminated with extreme prejudice. The Castigators put themselves, and the thing they prize most - their purity - in harm's way to battle the enemies of the Emperor. Much like the people of Losanco Secundus fighting the mutants of the day-side, the Castigators sacrifice all that is dear to them to rid the Imperium of a greater taint. It is a thankless task, but the Castigators undertake such challenges willingly.

 

Chaos is abhorred by the chapter, despised for its warping touch. Those that have fallen to chaos are despised and hated - to the Castigators, it is unthinkable to allow oneself to stray from the Emperor's path and into the worship of the Dark Gods. Those that submit to the dark powers are weak and must be killed.

 

The Castigators adhere to philosophies that are very close to Inquisitor Goldo's principle of Monodomination. They are utterly ruthless and unforgiving when it comes to those they perceive as aiding the enemies of the Imperium. Mutants, aliens, psykers and religious deviants are all to be called to account for their activities. The only punishment for those who stray from the Emperor's path is death. The Castigators are utterly devoted to this belief and have in the past even been openly hostile towards Space Marines they have perceived to have a mutated or debased gene-seed. They utterly refuse to work alongside aliens such as Eldar or Kroot.

 

Whilst some have called the Castigators overly aggressive, narrow-minded, or bigoted, none can deny the fervour with which they go about their tasks. Traditional and puritan Inquisitors have gone so far as to openly applaud the Castigators. They see their actions as those of the truly faithful. The chapter has worked in concert with the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition on several occasions. It is not uncommon for puritan Inquisitors to work with militant cults in the Imperium - such as the Redemptionists - to create frenzied mobs and stir up hatred, intolerance and xenophobia amongst planetary populations. These cults' beliefs are similar to those of the Castigators, and this has lead to them aiding such cults at the urging of an Inquisitor.

 

 

The Castigators revere the Emperor, for His sacrifice and for all He had to endure to ensure that humanity survived the dark days of the Horus Heresy. He surrendered more than most can even imagine. Many of the chapter's marines commit acts of self-mutilation in an attempt to further their own spiritual growth. These acts are overlooked by the Chapter's commanders, as they encourage piety. The pain is welcomed, and is a small price to pay for understanding even a small sliver of the Emperor's suffering and sacrifice.

 

It has been noted that the Castigators tolerate both the Astropaths and those of the Navigator Gene. While at first this seems almost hypocritical, the Castigators reply that both were created and sanctioned by the Emperor - just as the Adeptus Astartes were.

 

Gene-seed

The Castigators trace their lineage back to Roboute Guilliman of the Ultramarines. The Ultramarines are renowned for possessing the purest of all loyalist legions' gene-seeds. The purity and excellence of Guilliman and his legion have been passed on to their successors.

 

The Castigators' Apothecaries demand absolute and total excellence. Great stead is placed on health and purity, and the Apothecarion makes sure that only the strongest and healthiest of Losanco Secundus' populace are selected to become marines. The trials for neophytes are particularly stringent, and the Apothecaries take great care to ensure that the gene-seed does not develop flaws or mutate in any way, ensuring that the chapter's purity is ruthlessly maintained. Any neophytes that exhibit signs of mutation are usually inducted as serfs or used as subjects of study in an attempt to determine what went wrong.

 

This thoroughness means that losses are replaced slower than in most marine chapters. In recent years there have been few occasions when the Castigators have been at full chapter strength.

Edited by Commissar Molotov
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Just for my knowledge, do you use traits for them, and if so which ones, I have my own guesses but I'd just like to know for sure.

 

As for the article itself. Thorough is an understatement, short of writing up a day by day account of their history you covered just about everything. You stuffed a lot into a well written piece and you managed to reenforce the most important elements where needed. The chapter's theme and over-all 'feel' come through nicely. Purity, at any cost really, and that same single-mindedness and purpose of action carries over to their fighting style, the refusal to take a step back save when it is the only choice left. This is an excellent example of sticking with a central theme and letting that one, overiding aspect of your chapter dictate their fluff through out their creation period, rather than letting a desire to add intrigue or choosing seemingly powerful traits and allowing them dictate how the fluff develops.

 

The Castigators... were they a GW studio army you picked up?

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As always, a wonderful product Molotov. You should be very pleased with this. A great many parts in this I enjoyed and have only one true critique.

 

1. Scouts act as skirmishers and are devided throughout the companies. I like this and to be honest I do it myself. Background wise it makes sense to me. Scouts learn from full fledged Marines not completely from other senior Scouts. Granted, they are taught and kept in a Scout company for a reason but to truly excel and learn I think that they would have to be around Marines who could coach, teach, and mentor them on a daily basis.

 

2. I like the backdrop of the planet as well,...have you considered that some of the plant and animal life on the dark side are bio-luminescent if for nothing else than to exemplify the darkness of the planet on that hemisphere. Generally they would be deeper in the continent as opposed to the overlapping zone of light and dark,...that terrible shadow zone where I would imagine most of the combat amongst the light siders and the dark siders happens. Not a critique, just a suggestion.

 

3. Nice touch with the Librarians and the Navigators,...its a lovely little loophole without the whole Black Templars feel that is so overdone now-a-days. That and I get the feeling that your Chapter have no problem looking down upon them,...more of a way of viewing them. Same as a Bolter,...its a tool,...used to do a specific job.

 

4. The only issue that I have with this and its a purely personal thing, I dont get the whole dislike of the Tech Marine issue. To me, it seems as if you are setting yourself up for failure. If it is a purely religious/dogma issue then I will buy that but if they have a genuine fear of the Tech Marines and the knowledge and capabilities that they bring (not unlike the Librarians) then I dont get it. I dont see how that machinery and technology would be considered unnatural when they have little issue with Navigators. If there is a specific reason for this, I would be curious to know it.

 

5. utilityzero brings up a fine point and I am curious myself, what traits did you use, if any, as I could see this being done without any at all. Again a fine piece of work, well written, well crafted, well done.

 

Severus6

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I remember seeing a Slaaneshi force called the castigators in one of the ancient WD I found. They had a very similar symbol and a few were modelled as killing IF and successors. Are they yours Molotov? :tu:

cheers

 

That would be a negative. Mol's Castigators are not Slaaneshi oriented, and he has nothing to do with those Castigators. I think it was decided though that the Slaaneshi Castigators are wannabes and Mol's are cooler, you'd have to check in the last thread for confirmation.

 

Anyhow, assuming I can find anything wrong with this Mr. Commissar, I'll get to being a bit more helpful a bit later.

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They had a very similar symbol

 

 

The Sons of Korhal (from Starcraft) also use the same symbol.

 

 

 

Was that the inspiration behind the symbol Commissar Molotov?

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Severus6 :

4. The only issue that I have with this and its a purely personal thing, I dont get the whole dislike of the Tech Marine issue. To me, it seems as if you are setting yourself up for failure. If it is a purely religious/dogma issue then I will buy that but if they have a genuine fear of the Tech Marines and the knowledge and capabilities that they bring (not unlike the Librarians) then I dont get it. I dont see how that machinery and technology would be considered unnatural when they have little issue with Navigators. If there is a specific reason for this, I would be curious to know it.

 

I don

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Barret:

...If the natives of the planet had regressed to barbarism, to the point where they forgot what the Space Marines are, I doubt they'd remember what the Adeptus Mechanicus is, or even the Omnissiah
The marines came to be seen as furious angels, ferocious emissaries of an ever-watchful God-Emperor.

 

AM descendant that haven’t forget the God-Emperor but forget what Omnissiah is? Not likely.

 

And they haven’t forget what Space Marines are ,as not much people in Imperium would know what they really are. Do you think that every citizen of the Imperium knows how is Marine created? Most don’t see the difference between Chaos and Imperial Marines as HH has been deleted from most records. ”They are Emperors Angels of Death so be good or they will drink your blood and eat your brains!” would be the most probable answer when some civilian would ask official about Marines.

 

Much of the society survived in caves with the last vestiges of the Explorator ship's technology.

 

They are not so barbaric if they still use the remains of ships technology, and I don’t think that using technology would become any more scientific and less magical then it is in AM so tech-cultists would be needed.

Edited by Keyoz Devastrius
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Quite a solid piece of work, although there does seem to be points that could be clarified. Also, a proper IA needs a painting guide, a list of the units and rules (traits, if any) they use etc. :P
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Well, couldn't find anything wrong with this version of the Castigators that hasn't been brought up already. I do like how you did your paragraphs thought, shortening them up and whatnot. Easy on the eyes.

 

Also, what ever happened to Chaplain Renatus? :jaw:

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